Discussion Why do so many people kill themselves over a broken heart?

[waterbottleman]

Thank you for your kind words.
Im devestated. I just want to go be with him and my twin sister so badly. Something keeping me here is thinking about my mom though; she already lost one child and is heart broken...I don't want to put her through another heartbreak (plus my dad died) so in thinking of her keeps me here on Earth. It's what's holding me back right now.

Yeah I understand the conflict.

I too worry how my parents will feel when I'm gone, fortunately both of my parents are alive and still married and I have a living sibling so at least they'll have each other when I'm gone.

Idk what I'd do if I was an only child or if my other sibling was already gone, it would definitely put more pressure on me to not ctb and instead seek help.

 

[Erase.myself]

Yeah I understand the conflict.

I too worry how my parents will feel when I'm gone, fortunately both of my parents are alive and still married and I have a living sibling so at least they'll have each other when I'm gone.

Idk what I'd do if I was an only child or if my other sibling was already gone, it would definitely put more pressure on me to not ctb and instead seek help.

Yes there is pressure for sure. I do have an older brother though who is still alive, but he's really into meth and in and out of jail the last few years. He now has drug induced schizophrenia and he's quite violent and psychotic. Him and my mom fight a lot and really really don't get along. He's pretty much lost his mind at this point...it's really sad. Because of the way he is now, I feel like I'm all my mom has. My mom even talks about wanting to die but she said she's not capable of such a thing of killing herself. My mom's so lonely she says. Im so sorry; I keep rambling on.

 

[waterbottleman]

Yes there is pressure for sure. I do have an older brother though who is still alive, but he's really into meth and in and out of jail the last few years. He now has drug induced schizophrenia and he's quite violent and psychotic. Him and my mom fight a lot and really really don't get along. He's pretty much lost his mind at this point...it's really sad. Because of the way he is now, I feel like I'm all my mom has. My mom even talks about wanting to die but she said she's not capable of such a thing of killing herself. My mom's so lonely she says. Im so sorry; I keep rambling on.

Damn that's a tough situation, idk what to say.

Yeah I sympathize with your mom, my loneliness is a big factor in me wanting to die as well. Fortunately though it sounds like your mom isn't capable of killing herself. I on the other hand am more than capable.

Why are you here though? Why do you want to ctb?

 

[Erase.myself]

Damn that's a tough situation, idk what to say.

Yeah I sympathize with your mom, my loneliness is a big factor in me wanting to die as well. Fortunately though it sounds like your mom isn't capable of killing herself. I on the other hand am more than capable.

Why are you here though? Why do you want to ctb?

I want to ctb so I can go be with my love who died and also go be with my twin sister. I feel like half my heart got torn from me when she died, and I lost most of that half when James my ex died. I have BPD , depression , anxiety and currently attempting to recover from anorexia. I feel so lost without them, these people I loved and cared for so deeply. I feel like I lost my home when I lost him, and I feel like I gave up my comfort when I started eating again. My eating disorder gave me comfort, safety, a home in a way. I lost all of that. I have severe social anxiety which makes it hard to function out in the world, let alone get basic needs met as I have panic attacks often when out in public. I've been a heroin addict on and off for ten years. Im 32 years old and I feel like nothing will get better. I have nothing to show in this life to be proud of. I fucked up college due to my addiction and cannot afford to go back to accomplish my dreams. I feel like a prisoner in my body due to body dysmorphia. There's a sadness in my chest that I can't seem to shake. It's so heavy with sadness and grief. I don't see a way out

 

[TheTraveller]

I'm sorry, this must be so distressing. I've had several people have this same interaction with doctors being cut of or drastically reduced- none has turned out well.

 

[waterbottleman]

I want to ctb so I can go be with my love who died and also go be with my twin sister. I feel like half my heart got torn from me when she died, and I lost most of that half when James my ex died. I have BPD , depression , anxiety and currently attempting to recover from anorexia. I feel so lost without them, these people I loved and cared for so deeply. I feel like I lost my home when I lost him, and I feel like I gave up my comfort when I started eating again. My eating disorder gave me comfort, safety, a home in a way. I lost all of that. I have severe social anxiety which makes it hard to function out in the world, let alone get basic needs met as I have panic attacks often when out in public. I've been a heroin addict on and off for ten years. Im 32 years old and I feel like nothing will get better. I have nothing to show in this life to be proud of. I fucked up college due to my addiction and cannot afford to go back to accomplish my dreams. I feel like a prisoner in my body due to body dysmorphia. There's a sadness in my chest that I can't seem to shake. It's so heavy with sadness and grief. I don't see a way out

Damn I'm so sorry. I can see why your boyfriend is so important to you. Even though he is gone he will forever live in your heart.

I feel you, I'm 29 and feel like my life won't get better either. Idk if I even want it to get better, I kind of just want to give up struggling and go blissfully.

 

[Erase.myself]

Damn I'm so sorry. I can see why your boyfriend is so important to you. Even though he is gone he will forever live in your heart.

I feel you, I'm 29 and feel like my life won't get better either. Idk if I even want it to get better, I kind of just want to give up struggling and go blissfully.

Thank you for your kind words. Im really sorry to hear that you feel like your life won't get better and that you want to give up. If I may ask, is there something specific causing these feelings?

 

[waterbottleman]

Thank you for your kind words. Im really sorry to hear that you feel like your life won't get better and that you want to give up. If I may ask, is there something specific causing these feelings?

There are a lot of reasons why I want to end my life, but it boils down to chronic loneliness and severe depression.

 

[Erase.myself]

There are a lot of reasons why I want to end my life, but it boils down to chronic loneliness and severe depression.

Chronic loneliness and severe depression can be very debilitating. That's understandable. Im sorry you are suffering so much.

 

[TAW122]

To answer the question, I was in a semi-similar situation when I was naive and young, back when I was just a teenager. I suppose part of it had to do with hormones, romance, feelings, and all the kinds just built up over time and then suddenly losing all of that can be a very upsetting change for just about anyone to deal with. For me, there were other circumstances in play (bad school and home life contributed to it too). I didn't have a plan nor an effective means to CTB though back then.

So in short, it has a lot to do with strong feelings, being vulnerable to the other person that one perceives as important, and then pouring your emotional investment in it only to have all that be shattered. A lot of impulsive CTBs can be attributed to broken hearts as well.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I want to ctb so I can go be with my love who died and also go be with my twin sister. I feel like half my heart got torn from me when she died, and I lost most of that half when James my ex died. I have BPD , depression , anxiety and currently attempting to recover from anorexia. I feel so lost without them, these people I loved and cared for so deeply. I feel like I lost my home when I lost him, and I feel like I gave up my comfort when I started eating again. My eating disorder gave me comfort, safety, a home in a way. I lost all of that. I have severe social anxiety which makes it hard to function out in the world, let alone get basic needs met as I have panic attacks often when out in public. I've been a heroin addict on and off for ten years. Im 32 years old and I feel like nothing will get better. I have nothing to show in this life to be proud of. I fucked up college due to my addiction and cannot afford to go back to accomplish my dreams. I feel like a prisoner in my body due to body dysmorphia. There's a sadness in my chest that I can't seem to shake. It's so heavy with sadness and grief. I don't see a way out

I have been reading your story on this thread and I just wanted to say I really sympathize. I found out this January my ex fiance who I was planning on getting back together with tragically died and I feel like part of me died with him. Grief, and heartbreak can change a person's life forever. I already had many problems like severe anxiety, depression, bpd, Asperger's, ptsd from severe trauma and abuse so the heartbreak was just the nail in the coffin for me. I'm in my late 20s and I have no hope of starting over in this life. I completely destroyed my opportunity at college too and I'm in financial ruin so I can go back either. I feel like I only stick around for my mom and im all she has now too. Sending you hugs.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

A lot of ya all are callous as hell. Do you know how this person truly feels? No, because feelings are SUBJECTIVE! They are woven together not from just a singular experience, but many experiences both overt and subtle woven together throughout a lifetime that gives you your particular point of view. As an outsider looking in on another person's private thoughts that they are so vunerably laying out, you don't try to empathize, you simply filter it through your own experiences like it's some magic fairy dust that will make someone better just because it worked for you. Yet another example of how incredibly self centered most people are without realizing it...

 

[Erase.myself]

I have been reading your story on this thread and I just wanted to say I really sympathize. I found out this January my ex fiance who I was planning on getting back together with tragically died and I feel like part of me died with him. Grief, and heartbreak can change a person's life forever. I already had many problems like severe anxiety, depression, bpd, Asperger's, ptsd from severe trauma and abuse so the heartbreak was just the nail in the coffin for me. I'm in my late 20s and I have no hope of starting over in this life. I completely destroyed my opportunity at college too and I'm in financial ruin so I can go back either. I feel like I only stick around for my mom and im all she has now too. Sending you hugs.

I am terribly sorry for the suffering and the grief that you are experiencing as well. It sounds like we unfortunately share a very similar story in many ways. Grief can be incredibly unbearable, coupled with already having mental illness to live with, and feeling like life is going nowhere. I hope you find comfort and peace with whatever decisions you make about staying or ctb. *Sending hugs back to you* if you ever want to talk feel free to send me a message

 

[braketimez]

Since I lose my bestfriend I understand, it hurt more than any other loss for they were the one who was there when all those other loses happened.

I lost my best friend to a car crash. You're exactly right.

 

[aardar]

It's not the break up.
I have severe social anxiety, so I always end up being lonely for a very long time when a relationship ends. I don't want that to happen again.
Now, it's even worse. I'm not in college anymore, I don't know anybody in town and I work alone from home. I don't have a support group and I can't search for one because of the lockdown.
I don't think my situation is permanent. I know it's temporary. But it will take longer than I am able to endure.

 

[bpdandme]

Being in love can be like a drug, having it taken away from you can really affect someone especially when they have put a lot of effort into it or relied on the other person for happiness.

 

[Aman Sharma]

Heartbreaks are really hard to deal with. It's hard because whatever the reason be, it affects our self worth.
Got rejected? Why? Maybe I'm not good enough. I'm ugly. I'm not better than others.
Got cheated? Why? Maybe I'm not good enough. I'm not better than anyone else.
It hurts a lot when we attach our self worth with being in a relationship.
And when you start losing your own worth, you struggle to find any reason to be alive. And eventually, some people give in to these feelings and kill themselves.