Discussion Why do people with good lives want to kill themselves?

[EternalHappiness]

What do you mean by this? I've been diagnosed with BPD by my psychiatrist; do you think I should continue my medication or not?

Honestly, I don't feel any positive effects from my medication at all.

What class of medication? Almost every class of psych med comes with significant iatrogenic risk. For example, SSRI's left me with neuropathy, ME/CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), and PSSD (Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction). I can't believe I thought I was suffering before. I am now disabled, entirely unable to work, unable to sustain romantic relationships due to PSSD - my life is completely empty, and there is no effective treatment/cure. The only reason I'm on this forum looking to CTB is because of SSRIs that I discontinued 6 years ago. They can cause severe and lasting damage in a portion of the patient population. Beyond SSRIs, benzodiazepines, tricyclic antidepressants, antipsychotics all come with significant risk of intractable damage post-discontinuation.
Be careful.

 

[Artemisia]

Different values. Just because you consider a life to be a good life, doesn't mean the other person shares your values. Me, I've never been married or have kids (I'm 49 yo), I have no other family either,some people certainly considered it a sad life and wouldn't be surprised if I offed myself. But I was happy that way, because independence and the ability to take care of myself and live life on my terms was what mattered to me. Now, due to health issues that's coming to an end. Sure I could go to a nursing home and be taken care of for who knows how long, but I won't. Some people love being taken care of, me, even if I can afford it, prefer putting an end to my suffering.

 

[TDF]

Because depression and other mental health disorders are mental health disorders, it isn't always circumstance based. For example, you can be the richest and prettiest person in the world and still have depression or cptsd or another mental health disorder that you have been unable to manage or recover from and you want to kill yourself because living is torturous.

Otherwise, as everyone else has said, perspective on life and one's self, and thought processes and feelings can be quite different for everyone, depending on their experience and surroundings.

It's really a very complicated and personal thing that requires case by case approach, it is a lot more complicated than being short or ugly. I personally for example don't really see being short and ugly as really a problem as I see it as something superficial and irrelevant, many people who are short and ugly have happy lives, but I'm sure you don't see it that way. For me I have money I've been successful all my life and I'm not short or ugly but I have other problems in my life, I'm sure many equally might look at my life and wonder why I might feel bad at all about it.

 

[catnowmeowmeow]

I think a good life is relative you can have all the money and things going for you but if you don't have any connections or anyone to live for what is the point?
When you have the good life and realize it's not going to fix your problems that's when ctb looks like a good idea. Sometimes a lot of people thinking making more money, being more attractive etc can solve their issues but when the issue is your brain you realize very quickly that nothing will help, for example I realize that no matter what I do right now things feel numb. I could be eating my favorite meals, go travelling to anywhere but nothing solves the emptiness you have inside.

 

[Manfrotto99]

I respect your honesty and Like you I just don't understand it. I accept that i never really will because my place of struggling is similar to yourself and that is really all I know. My depression and reasons for cbt are mostly circumstantial and think that has a lot to do with it.

Being honest, I mostly don't get how people with money can be suicidal, unless they have a physical painful or debilitating ailment that is not treatable. Money can buy you looks, holidays, health to a certain extent, pets, comfort, friends, safety, luxuary, a nice secure house near nature. I know people want more and more, so there is always that feeling of never being satisfied, yet that is a choice that comes with money. Its the lack of choice in life that is incredibly depressing and debilitating.

If I had money I'd just buy a nice secluded house near the river with my garden and animals to keep me company and forget about the horrible world.
I would have a little farm and grow food, maybe contribute some way to the local community. I can have social time on the internet. Personally I would not need anything else. Of cause life is never perfect, but I'd be content just tending to my garden with my pets and secure in a comfortable house. But that is just me and we are all very different.

Some people would find my ideal an incredible bore. It is subjective. I can feel at peace just sitting and listening to the call of birds, but I'm poor and have to listen to the sound heavy traffic all day and night instead which drives me insane and to the brink of cbt

 

[finchywart]

my life is pretty perfect from the outside but i messed up my face trying to chase perfection and i just can't handle the derealisation, depersonalisation and identity loss. i don't recognise myself anymore and ive made a big mistake. i feel like i have already died so now i want to ctb since there is no going back from the harm i have done to myself.

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

My life was good before I got fucked up by Psychiatry, which quickly turned into a terrible life.

I don't enjoy anything now, I also don't look forward to doing things either. You could give me $1,000,000 and I still wouldn't care or be happy.

Exactly the same for me. Had a good life, felt "okay" and was relatively happy most of the time. Until psychiatry completely ruined me….my head, my life. They made me know what unbareble mental pain feels like and made me see how pointless life is. I don't enjoy anything anymore either, everything feels hollow and empty.

 

[mpk]

Everyone tries to give their best version on the surface to others, while they are suffering inside themselves, just like us.

Many people with wealth usually have problems beyond our imagination to make that wealth. The responsibilities of businesses/jobs, the sacrifices to the body and health, the trust/money issues from friends/family and the time lost from with family and friends. They might have all the money in the world, but have no true friends/family and they feel absolutely alone. They can't buy family or their health.

Some might have invisible chronic health conditions that stop them from having a normal life and are in a prison of their own body. But they pretend they are fine to sustain their friendships and to hang onto society and their life.

Some might seem to have a good family and a large group friends, but those friends may be all fake and be using them or just be there only for the good times, while in bad times, they disappear. That's why they say when you get older, if you have even a few friends, you are lucky. As they all realise they weren't really true friends to begin with. And if there is family trauma and issues, not many people like to tell others as they know noone will care.

 

[Grav]

But I don't understand why someone who has it good

First "good" has to be defined and it's different for everyone. I would probably meet a "good" status to many people but I'm also not that good compared to others. As for reasons each person has their own. One of mine is the futility of a "good life": spending 1/3, at least, of my lifetime doing something I'd rather not do so I can survive in the current society with some comfort isn't much of a life. As much as people want to believe in the "oh society will change suddenly", no that's not going to happen. I could always quit and live on the street I suppose. There are people less set in life than myself and are perfectly happy and don't get my desire to ctb. I've always been this way but I've been capable of doing what I had to do to keep moving. Maybe just stubborn, definitely not in the "oh it gets better" camp. End result: I don't think you can get a definitive answer why certain people want to check out.

 

[Davey36000]

I mean I don't really know why but I know success or money on it's own is not happiness.

Look at the children of Donald Trump. Would you want that kind of of life? Lol.

 

[Grav]

Look at the children of Donald Trump. Would you want that kind of of life? Lol.

Most children of wealthy persons seem pretty happy not having to work for the benefits they are getting.

 

[kinderbueno]

I believe women just have it easier in general.

As a woman I don't think we have it easier, I just think we have different issues. No gender has it harder/easier than the other, we're all suffering in different ways

I mean I don't really know why but I know success or money on it's own is not happiness.

Look at the children of Donald Trump. Would you want that kind of of life? Lol.

Exactly, I agree with you 100%. There are other factors too like popularity, self esteem, health and relationships which determine happiness as well

Most children of wealthy persons seem pretty happy not having to work for the benefits they are getting.

There's also potential downsides too like struggling to form meaningful relationships with others due to their wealth, or if they're famous then having to keep up a good image for the media at all times

 

[like-spoiledmilk]

I suffer through the mechanics of living - eating, breathing, walking, talking, socializing, thinking, even sex. I'm young and healthy. I just believe having a body at all is personally rather miserable.

I built a good life because I thought I owed it to myself to try. I thought changing circumstances was worth the effort. I don't believe I'm incapable of anything, and it wasn't necessarily difficult to find a robust social circle or well-paying job or partner. It didn't change anything either, though. Love can't cure emptiness.

I'm still happy I tried. I hope I can find some floating, non-existence somewhere.

 

[etherealspring]

i objectively have a good life but my mental health is shit and it hasnt gotten better even after years. doesnt matter what i try, nothing seems to work. even if the suicidal thoughts leave for a short while they always come back. for some reason, i cant seem to escape from this endless cycle

 

[mistymoo]

Like others have mentioned it's all subjective.

I'd like to think I'm relatively attractive (I get dates fairly easily.) I'm white, tall. I'm not in any huge financial crisis, I have a purpose. I used to have a huge friend group. My dad has become my rock and he's still here.

But I'm so incredibly fucking damaged it's not even funny. My mom has ruined me from a young age. In highschool i couldn't even leave the fuckin house without having a panic attack. She taught me the world is scary and bad and she's the only good thing ill ever have(i now know this is bullshit.) She was abusive in every single way. I left the house one night for a party with close friends who didn't protect me like I thought they would have. I got sexually assaulted and now I'm terrified of men who aren't family.

I've been mentally ill for as long as I can remember and ultimately that's what's going to end up putting me in the ground. I'm on at least 7 medications just to try and make it through the days. I'm tired. My life might look good from the outside but inside I'm ugly and broken. I have been since grade school when I started picking up on my hag of a mothers traits. I can't help but hurt others when I get scared

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Just because somebody seems like they have all their shit together on the surface doesn't mean that they are doing great. A lot of those people might suffer from psychological or medical issues that you don't know about. Along with that, some people also just don't find being alive to be appealing, even if they have a good life.

My life, up to now, has pretty good for the most part, especially in comparison to basically everyone on here, but I don't like being alive. I started having thoughts about wanting to die when I was around 8 and I plan on attempting again at some point (my last attempts were a few months back).

 

[emma99]

their is a saying
"The grass isnt always greener"

I mean just look to hollywood
how many famous actors
turn out to be abusive drug addicted
sexual predators and shit.

I mean even child actos tun out fucked up.

And then you have all the former big brother
contestants found dead after a few years from an
over dose or suicide.

So you might think money will solve all your problems.
But the environment of the business class can be very
toxic. and comes with ALOT of stress

 

[Mirrory Me]

their is a saying
"The grass isnt always greener"

I mean just look to hollywood
how many famous actors
turn out to be abusive drug addicted
sexual predators and shit.

I mean even child actos tun out fucked up.

And then you have all the former big brother
contestants found dead after a few years from an
over dose or suicide.

So you might think money will solve all your problems.
But the environment of the business class can be very
toxic. and comes with ALOT of stress

I don't know "if the grass is greener there", but it's in California after all.

 

[Davey36000]

Most children of wealthy persons seem pretty happy not having to work for the benefits they are getting.

Look at the pics he took with his daughter, and the way he talks about her, it seem he had or wants to have sex with her.

Also being his kids would be like living in a very strange bubble.