Why do i want to die?

[AliceZev]

I've tried to kill myself five times so far throughout my life. I was molested as a kid and everything went downhill from there. I'm finally starting to get my life back together. I'm going back to work, I repaired my relationships with my family, and I have a girlfriend I love more than I ever thought possible. I've never felt this good in my life. So why is suicide still such an attractive option? Why do I feel so much envy when I hear about someone who managed to complete it?

 

[Malice1]

I guess theres more than meets the eye eh? Some rich people kill themselves so this shouldn't be surprising at all. Mental illness is a real thing.

 

[MrNobody]

Could be a chemical imbalance. You may want to take a vitamin/mineral/hormone blood test.

 

[AliceZev]

Could be a chemical imbalance. You may want to take a vitamin/mineral/hormone blood test.

I get them checked pretty regularly. I'm trans and I have an eating disorder, so my macros and hormones are very closely monitored. Plus I don't feel depressed or in pain. But for some reason suicide still seems like a wonderful, pleasant idea.

 

[Hanger]

maybie it´s because your past is haunting you or maybe just because your brain and your body are not in agreement.( I know that well, cause often I wish to be a lesbian woman, don´t really know why, maybe just because I find lesbian realtionships so cute)Or maybe you just long for death, romanticize it.