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razor543

razor543

quetiapine <3
Dec 23, 2024
88
It feels like I can't do anything right. Everyone in my life is leaving me because of how much I fuck up. I don't even know what I'm doing so wrong. A woman I had seen for 10 years sent me a message a couple of months ago saying she couldn't see me anymore and then blocked me. 10 years and she couldn't even say it to me. This woman went through so much stuff with me, like when I got taken into foster care. When I had to rewatch the interview that I had to do when I was 10, and had disclosed sexual abuse. She was there when I got moved around the county to different foster placements. She was the one who ultimately saved my life on the 16th of May; if she hadn't phoned the police, I wouldn't be here. She saw me fighting for my life in the hospital, and she even wrote in the hospital diary," Remember that the world is a better place with you in it." Well, clearly not, if only a few months later, she just blocked me out of the blue. I don't understand why I'm such a bad person. Everyone in my life is leaving. Someone I met on here and thought I was friends with unfriended me. I care about people too much, even if they couldn't give 1 shit about me. I feel so alone, and I can't stop crying. I just know I can't fail my attempt. I can't do it anymore. I feel like I just ruin everyone's lives when I'm in it. I think everyone will just be much happier when I'm not here, and i know that i'll quickly be forgotten because i've done nothing memorable in my life. I'm just a massive fuck up. I couldn't even do the sn right and now my life is even worse. Hopefully I'll get the sn attempt right this time. Too everyone i've ever talked to on this site i'm sorry you even had to acknowledge my existence.
 
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Reactions: Dante_, Bimbosqualo, danivodka5 and 6 others
Pale_Rider

Pale_Rider

Enlightened
Apr 21, 2025
1,457
All we have control of in reality is ourselves is all I can offer.
 
B

Baisley

Member
Jan 18, 2025
87
I'm sorry your in such pain. I am in the same boat, I can't get anything right and simple things are so hard for me. I just want to die and am trapped because I can't figure out a method. At least you have SN, I don't even have that. Good luck and I hope you find peace.
 

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