Why do bad people think they’re good

[Charmander07]

I won't say specific people tho I do have a couple in my mind. I hate how people think they're like some emotionally mature nice person and that they're a victim, not thinking about the horrible actions they themselves have done. Why do people like this think they're some amazing person, like I know that I definitely wasn't a good person but at least I admit it and apologise for it. I'm over the harmful things these sort of people done to me but sometimes it is annoys me thinking these people think they're good people and see me or other people as some horrible person that only hurts people. Why are they like this?

Edit: I guess I have mentioned a specific someone but I don't think they use this website so I don't see a problem with it

 

[Wolff603]

They're oblivious to seeing themselves in a different lighting or setting than what they perceive themselves to be. The ideology that they arent the perfect emotionally mature person hurts their ego, therefore ignored.


Youll only see people on mental edge be self-aware of their actions. Probably some sort of correlation between people with mental illnesses and self-awareness.

 

[mold]

These are literally my exact thoughts. I know when I did something wrong and can admit it but all the people who hurt me can't. I just don't understand why. I know it's not even me being delusional, like some of the things these people did were objectively wrong (and illegal to do to me too) but they still believe they're a victim. I don't get it. It honestly kind of hurts more knowing they feel justified in their actions. I've been dehumanized and treated like a fucking monster so many times by people who genuinely believed I deserved it.

 

[Charmander07]

They're oblivious to seeing themselves in a different lighting or setting than what they perceive themselves to be. The ideology that they arent the perfect emotionally mature person hurts their ego, therefore ignored.


Youll only see people on mental edge be self-aware of their actions. Probably some sort of correlation between people with mental illnesses and self-awareness.

Yeah I know, I try not to talk abt it anymore since I've found someone else, but she doesn't mind. My ex thinks I'm abusive and she's not. Every thing bad that I've done she has done as well (we are both mentally ill).

I'm not gonna justify myself but I put in the effort to change, and over time I became honest while she remained to lie for the whole last year of our relationship (she doesn't even know I know). She just keeps rebounding and probably hurting other people over time, I mean she literally said she gets excited thinking abt other people getting hurt by her words, yet I am the sole abuser??

It didn't annoy me that she called me an abuser, I know I wasn't a great partner. It's the fact she didn't include herself either (yet she claims she's emotionally mature).

But yeah this stuff doesn't upset me anymore it just bugs me sometimes that she thinks she's some emotionally moral person and that I'm some crazy abuser

These are literally my exact thoughts. I know when I did something wrong and can admit it but all the people who hurt me can't. I just don't understand why. I know it's not even me being delusional, like some of the things these people did were objectively wrong (and illegal to do to me too) but they still believe they're a victim. I don't get it. It honestly kind of hurts more knowing they feel justified in their actions. I've been dehumanized and treated like a fucking monster so many times by people who genuinely believed I deserved it.

Exactly, tbh tho the fact that these people think that abt me actually ended up making me feel better abt the whole situation. Whenever someone brings up my ex now (she did this sort of thing to me), I actually find it funny just cause I feel for so much. Over time, it genuinely got better but sometimes it js bugs me

 

[Wolff603]

Yeah I know, I try not to talk abt it anymore since I've found someone else, but she doesn't mind. My ex thinks I'm abusive and she's not. Every thing bad that I've done she has done as well (we are both mentally ill).

I'm not gonna justify myself but I put in the effort to change, and over time I became honest while she remained to lie for the whole last year of our relationship (she doesn't even know I know). She just keeps rebounding and probably hurting other people over time, I mean she literally said she gets excited thinking abt other people getting hurt by her words, yet I am the sole abuser??

It didn't annoy me that she called me an abuser, I know I wasn't a great partner. It's the fact she didn't include herself either (yet she claims she's emotionally mature).

But yeah this stuff doesn't upset me anymore it just bugs me sometimes that she thinks she's some emotionally moral person and that I'm some crazy abuser

Exactly, tbh tho the fact that these people think that abt me actually ended up making me feel better abt the whole situation. Whenever someone brings up my ex now (she did this sort of thing to me), I actually find it funny just cause I feel for so much. Over time, it genuinely got better but sometimes it js bugs me

That's goated wit the effort to change part and taking blame, although it's most likely not your fault


HOWEVER


Who is this evil mf "I get excited abt other people getting hurt by my words" PUT her down bro.

 

[Charmander07]

That's goated wit the effort to change part and taking blame, although it's most likely not your fault


HOWEVER


Who is this evil mf "I get excited abt other people getting hurt by my words" PUT her down bro.

No i will take responsibility for my actions, i did some wrong things during our relationship but man she was crazy.

Im gonna say some things she said in that one singular call I referenced with what she said:

'I wouldn't care if any of my friends died'
'You're stupid for trusting me, I wouldn't trust myself' (she basically admitted she's a lying cheater here)
'I like male attention' (tbh this is normal I guess but the problem is she used to lie about it and she would act on it)
'I find it exciting thinking you could leave me because of what I'm saying'
Also on this call she was so happy when I brought up the idea of her potentially being a narcassist, she's acc crazy (I am probably too but yeah ) she has no right to blame the faults of our relationship on me and say I'm the sole abuser. There's so much more on this one singular call I could reference and there's so much more than I could say. I respect her and I'm happy that she's moved on with someone else (even if it did involve cheating), but I can't help but feel bad for him as I know she's gonna abuse him or at least do some crazy stuff. He probably thinks I'm the crazy ex, simply cause of the crazy stuff I did, but knows nothing abt her.

I'm so glad I'm out of there now, she was NOT a good person, she never even attempted to give closure and even when we broke up she still used me and lied to my face, while threatening me on the side after I was telling her abt me feeling suicidal

Sorry for the long vent, I don't rlly talk abt it often, I may not get upset anymore but it's sure fun to talk abt it. It makes me look like a right idiot for staying in that relationship for 3 years

 

[Shadows From Hell]

Kind of like my brother and his girlfriend, they tend to think and act like they are so much better than everyone else, when in reality, the are some of the biggest dickheads on earth.

 

[violetforever]

'I wouldn't care if any of my friends died'
'You're stupid for trusting me, I wouldn't trust myself' (she basically admitted she's a lying cheater here)
'I like male attention' (tbh this is normal I guess but the problem is she used to lie about it and she would act on it)
'I find it exciting thinking you could leave me because of what I'm saying'
Also on this call she was so happy when I brought up the idea of her potentially being a narcassist, she's acc crazy

what are these behaviors? narcissism? bipolar? i'm genuinely asking anyone because i know someone similar and ive always tried to figure out why he is this way. i dont think its just alcoholism. love him, but i cant understand. kindness to cruelty. before he asked why i talk to him because im too sweet of a person and later on (when he got tired of me i guess) he called me stupid for talking to him. basically the same two statements, just worded with affection then hatred over time. he even told me that sick people do sick things, referring to himself. theres a lot of other behavior unrelated to me that i could describe but it would be long, i just wanna make clear these arent the only instances that make me wonder. unlike ur thread title, i think he slips up and makes it known that he knows hes not a very good person either. i think he just finally lost himself and let all the good parts of his being go…

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Most people have very little self awareness, that's just how it is.

 

[MephiticShadow]

It's the only way to survive their own minds. I like to think they do know, deep down. I think they just keep it really well hidden from everyone else

 

[Charmander07]

what are these behaviors? narcissism? bipolar? i'm genuinely asking anyone because i know someone similar and ive always tried to figure out why he is this way. i dont think its just alcoholism. love him, but i cant understand. kindness to cruelty. before he asked why i talk to him because im too sweet of a person and later on (when he got tired of me i guess) he called me stupid for talking to him. basically the same two statements, just worded with affection then hatred over time. he even told me that sick people do sick things, referring to himself. theres a lot of other behavior unrelated to me that i could describe but it would be long, i just wanna make clear these arent the only instances that make me wonder. unlike ur thread title, i think he slips up and makes it known that he knows hes not a very good person either. i think he just finally lost himself and let all the good parts of his being go…

I'm so sorry you know someone like that, it's even worse that he knows he's wrong yet still does it. But yeah in my case I think she might have bipolar, her mental health was horrible as she has attempted many times while dating me and many more before. She even made a post about me here like over a month ago saying I hit her, threatened to kms and that I cheated on her??? I never even said that to her and she even said abt how she's not even sad and that she finds it funny that I ended up not cheating on her?? She doesn't use this website anymore hence why I'm able to talk abt it but I was so upset when I saw that post essentially lying abt me and making me look like a pathetic loser. P.S she was cheating on me, I just didn't know it at the time.

But yeah some people are crazy it seems you understand my pain with your situation, I hope you're able to heal similar to I have, it felt absolutely horrible when I initially left her

It's the only way to survive their own minds. I like to think they do know, deep down. I think they just keep it really well hidden from everyone else

I genuinely think she doesn't, like she admits she has done wrong things but she doesn't admit that they're abusive things. It's rlly weird I don't understand it and I guess I never will

Kind of like my brother and his girlfriend, they tend to think and act like they are so much better than everyone else, when in reality, the are some of the biggest dickheads on earth.

Yeah people like that are even worse, when someone thinks they're better than someone else. Either they're insecure or they're evil, or maybe a bit of both