Why did sasu got so anti social?

[Seneca65AD]

A lot of people are emotionally exhausted and can't really console everyone who posts a sad story on here.

This is what happens to me. When I first joined, there was a sense of relief that I could talk openly without any sense of judgment from others. Then I started to see the number of young people hurting and spending their time planning their exits instead of living their lives. I wanted to assure each and every one of them that things can get better - maybe not great but the experiences of teens and 20's are such a short time to base a CTB exit upon. Then I was conflicted because I did not want to minimize their pain and that caused an internal struggle which left me emotionally exhausted. I then stay away from the forum for a few days. I'm not anti-suicide, I guess I am just a "what's the rush" type of guy.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

but people here do postings where they write about their suffering and they want at least some sort of help by an interaction that takes place interaction they can't have with their family etc but instead so many people who wrrite about all their pain get fully ignored whilr other bullshit stuff gets attention. Then i wonder then what is the purpose of this place? When you wanna interact about nonsense go to a normal forum go to reddit or whatever.
Yes in case of finding. Information it helped me but otherwise sasu just let me feel even more lonely
I didn't expect a magic pill here but I thought when lots of people have this one things in common the wish to end their life they might feel
For each other and support each other but thats not the case

I guess I dont mind if I get ignored in the end,, because I can resone with people here and I understand they've got lives

Not everyone is able to interact constantly with others when they know that one of them might try to ctb at anytime... people only have so much they can take mentally. I've lost so many friends on here and each time I see a post about someone wanting a interaction I do my best to help but I'm constantly ghosted or they end up ctb soon after.
Interactions with new users usually feel like a failed endeavor ... it's the people who stick around and actually communicate that make this forum run.
And just because people make post about something that you might see as "nonsense" doesn't mean they see it the same way. Not everyone knows every little thing about suicide or understand how this forum works fully until they've been on for a few months.

True

 

[_Vasa&Me_]

I disagree. When I see 1 or 2 occasional "fake posters" / sensationalist posts vs. 20 in a week, it elicits a different feeling about the site, and the mods engagement with keeping the place emotionally safe. Mods now seem to be defaulting to giving EVERYONE benefit of the doubt rather than making it a point to police the site. That in itself breeds a different environment and a different feeling about the "standard of care". The amount of things I see getting ignored don't compel me as an individual to be a "good steward" of a site like that. A good steward looks after its fellow members in all regard no matter what; (which is what many of you feel is explicitly missing per this thread.)

At one pt post-2021, I remember seeing racist posts toward one particular ethnicity be ignored / accepted while anti-LGBTQ posts, for example, would be quickly censored. Seeing that tells me all I need to know about SaSu...periodt. ...and YES it destroyed both the posters in a particular thread and the OVERALL sense that SaSu was an emotionally safe place, in ANY regard for me...

However the more interesting part is that legacy members would NEVER have tolerated it so you just didn't see that type of posting / poster last. Cuz a member knew it could get them isolated QUICKLY! And no one joins a community to be isolated....periodt. Community stewardship had the affect of self-policing across the board (Which arguably makes a mod's job easier). It also makes people feel seen / heard and a part of something GOOD they seek to actively protect. Like each person mattered, especially when the time comes. Food for the soul. (Another sentiment in this thread.)




I'm sorry but this phenomenon has and will ALWAYS exist on ANY site due to the nature of people in general. There is a reason I PM'd more than I posted. The 1 or 2 threads I started never got much foot traffic even back then. HOWEVER, the most "popular" members with whom I've had the strongest discourse with would ALWAYS come and provide true actionable effort-full uncensored advice (exactly what I needed.) Who needs the masses where there are a "true blue few"?

People these days fear stepping out or they tend toward snowflake-y or clan-like behaviours. I use myself as an example b/c I consider myself to be a somewhat hardcore, maybe even hard to digest person; if one doesn't take a deep look to see who I am or my values to understand and assess who I am.

The people here prided values and depth of posts over breadth of posts so the popularity contests were somewhat in balance with the greater joint stewardship of members. If I (for example) was known to provide good depth of advice it was certainly made a point to ensure that someone did the same for me REGARDLESS of my popularity vs theirs and regardless of my aforementioned "uniqueness". My contribution to all mattered, periodt. A thread like this would never have surfaced at that time.






Frankly I wouldn't respond to most people here because people only want motherly, coddled responses. Most people only see one type of response as caring and its a fairly limiting, unbalanced view of life and the world itself. I'm just not built that way.
But people won't / cant see the humanity in that too.

It doesn't mean I don't care but of course it will be interpreted as such. The tough, actionable responses are seen as being mean, or some foreign form of alien post with no value or validity. In fact, I see that as a greater problem with society. SaSu is just a sampling of that phenomenon. It may also be the reason there are so many young kids here seeking mothering, but I digress...


(And yes in some cases I will and do respond with what appears to be anger b/c I don't like people manipulating groups or sucking empathy out of the masses when their goal is just to be a disrupter, a fake poster, or hopefully a "sticky" in someone's mind or website. That's NOT a person who's going to offer the reciprocal memorable community stewardship I speak of!

I mean, truthfully, how can a person be a REAL steward of a community when the person has some predetermined, self-aggrandising goal of what their actions should lead to amongst a group of dynamic humans who are troubled / traumatised / damaged / etc./ [insert favourite word to your liking] ??

How can a person like that truly CARE when they have a stated END-goal directing their behaviours rather than a REAL personalised desire to respond to you / your situation??)

To be frank with you, I cannot really respond to most of the things mentioned by you due to the fact that they are either based on your experiences, or are from the past that I never experienced, I wouldn't say I was given much ground to stand on in that regard, but I will take the benefit of the doubt and believe what you say is true.

As to what I can respond to, is what you talked about regarding "modern day" SaSu, specifically the 1-2 vs 20 "fake" posts. I am really curious on what is your method of finding out whether someone is "fake" or not? Is it because they are a new user? Because they wrote their posts weirdly? Or what? Because new people come and go, so that's not really an argument, and since many people here have mental disorders or mental health problems in general, an odd way of writing a post is nothing special or surprising, as everyone expresses themselves differently. Other than AI detection, I cannot see may efficiency methods out there for detecting such "fakes".

And then to finish this, you talked about how SaSu was and how it is now, but haven't provided anything regarding how it can return to its former glory or be better for the coming future, thus feeling more like a pointless vent post, rather than anything constructive (I do not mean this in a harmful way, I just cannot see it as anything else but that, if I am wrong, please enlighten me) because at the end of the day, you can say that I am wrong in my naive optimism regarding my "solutions" of my earlier post, but at the very least they are actual options, an attempt to solve this issue, I am trying to change things for the better, something not seen much by this thread as reflected by other user's posts here.

 

[ginko0]

Well, for myself, I feel a hypocrite if I try to console someone. Me, a depressed and suicidal pos. And I also don't have the patience to read posts that are just blocks of texts with no paragraphs or punctuations. It's really tiresome. So I mostly answer posts that are not venting. Really like when people try to connect or share their worldviews, although I understand why some would use the forum as a journal.

 

[Misery99]

Why is there so less interaction as if 90% of the users who were here when I made my account have killed themself?

So many sad emotional posts from people in terrible conditions get ignored 0 responses nothing but then so often I see so stupid bullshit posts which get lots of attention.

When I joined here I thought this is the place you wanna be when you're suicidal instead of calling a suicide hotline where the person talks like a Roboter with the same phrases all the time I thought here people who understand the struggle with being suicidal help each other talk with each other but honestly its not like that. I tried to find help here or i should better say i tried finding a place where I'd feel better to be with people who go through the same but instead I realized even here I feel completely lonely.

All in all I regret spending so much time here I should've listened to first few users here who told me this place won't
Really help you or change anything for you. I would have also learned the information about hanging without an account. It was such a waste of time here really.

Yeah I feel like this website had changed a lot more than before when I first joined it back in 2020. I have not been active here continuously but whenever life felt too shitty, I used to lurk around here. And I think most of the old users here aren't active anymore. Maybe they had finally ctb or their lives eventually got better. But yeah I can see that the content and their responses here seems a bit different than before.

 

[Guy0117]

Why is there so less interaction as if 90% of the users who were here when I made my account have killed themself?

So many sad emotional posts from people in terrible conditions get ignored 0 responses nothing but then so often I see so stupid bullshit posts which get lots of attention.

When I joined here I thought this is the place you wanna be when you're suicidal instead of calling a suicide hotline where the person talks like a Roboter with the same phrases all the time I thought here people who understand the struggle with being suicidal help each other talk with each other but honestly its not like that. I tried to find help here or i should better say i tried finding a place where I'd feel better to be with people who go through the same but instead I realized even here I feel completely lonely.

All in all I regret spending so much time here I should've listened to first few users here who told me this place won't
Really help you or change anything for you. I would have also learned the information about hanging without an account. It was such a waste of time here really.

I feel and hear you. Don't worry.

 

[camusfan_ig]

A lot of people are emotionally exhausted and can't really console everyone who posts a sad story on here.

And some people don't WANT that either. People come here to get way from the pro life bs that seems to be everywhere else. Sometimes people just,, want to be heard

 

[Daphne]

I don't see this as a place to socialize or get support, more as a safe and unique venting space. Some of us have been rejected so often irl, we just appreciate being able to post our lived experiences or inquiries without being censored. If people make connections here, great, but I don't expect it for myself because my inability to form and sustain relationships is partly why I want to ctb.

Also I think a lot of posters do go on to ctb or they recover and decide to move to a different space.

 

[Terrible_Life]

Wow I was so right with this statement its unbelievable.
I just post something and I ask for advice but no nothing no response nothing as if the forum would be a cemetery…..
Then what is the damn fucking reason for this posting space when those posts that actually matter that are about important questions about ctb get ignored and just stay there with 0 interaction….

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

idk, im not really too active on here. I just use sasu as a place to vent shit i cant vent elsewhere. I was planning to ctb but after talking with another suicidal friend i decided not to because i didnt want to hurt them. i still feel like shit but i guess im existing

 

[Forveleth]

Just wanted to add my two cents.

This is what happens to me. When I first joined, there was a sense of relief that I could talk openly without any sense of judgment from others. Then I started to see the number of young people hurting and spending their time planning their exits instead of living their lives. I wanted to assure each and every one of them that things can get better - maybe not great but the experiences of teens and 20's are such a short time to base a CTB exit upon. Then I was conflicted because I did not want to minimize their pain and that caused an internal struggle which left me emotionally exhausted. I then stay away from the forum for a few days. I'm not anti-suicide, I guess I am just a "what's the rush" type of guy.

This is a big part of why I do not answer posts. There is a huge mental shift between someone under 30 and someone over a 30. As a member of the 40+ crowd, my response to a lot of posts would be the cliche "it gets better" response not because circumstances get better, but your whole mindset and mentality changes and things that bothered you in your teens and twenties suddenly have very little bearing on your life in your 30s and onwards. But if I say something to that effect, there is a good chance I will be accused of being a pro-lifer, so I don't respond to a lot of posts.

And I also don't have the patience to read posts that are just blocks of texts with no paragraphs or punctuations. It's really tiresome.

As a visually impaired person, it is almost damn near impossible for me to read these. I rely on punctuation and paragraphs to visually separate and make it easier for me to read.

Wow I was so right with this statement its unbelievable.
I just post something and I ask for advice but no nothing no response nothing as if the forum would be a cemetery…..

How can I finally choose a date and ctb?
Mu life is a damn nightmare every day I suffer from lots of things and either I ctb or seek help but I definitely don't want to seek help because that never helped me and now I have no energy left for that bullshit.
So how can I finally die???? What stops me? Its all prepared I'd die. Everything works perfectly. Every day is another argument to ctb its like being hungry so you do the logical thing and eat something. Now in my case i suffer horribly and have no other option so why the hell can't I finally do the only logical thing!?

I went and looked at the post to which you were referring (I think I quoted the right one), and I am sorry you did not get a response but also am not surprised. You are asking a question that a lot of people here are searching for the answer too and if we had it, I am guessing there would be a lot fewer of us here. Also, because there have been many posts asking the same question, I do not necessarily feel compelled to answer the same question asked for the 20th time, especially as I know you have access to the search. Which is another reason why I avoid answering many posts: because they are either more philosophical questions that we do not have a definitive answer to, or it's a very repeated question that I am just tired of seeing and answering.

I would love for threads to get a lot of responses and people to have active open discussions on many topics here, but this is the internet, and that just cannot happen. Every site goes through this, transforming from a small tight knit and close understanding community into an absolute mass as the masses find it and join

 

[Terrible_Life]

Just wanted to add my two cents.

This is a big part of why I do not answer posts. There is a huge mental shift between someone under 30 and someone over a 30. As a member of the 40+ crowd, if my response to a lot of posts would be the cliche "it gets better" response not because circumstances get better, but your whole mindset and mentality changes and things that bothered you in your teens and twenties suddenly have very little bearing on your life in your 30s and onwards. But if I say something to that effect, there is a good chance I will be accused of being a pro-lifer, so I don't respond to a lot of posts.

As a visually impaired person, it is almost damn near impossible for me to read these. I rely on punctuation and paragraphs to visually separate and make it easier for me to read.


I went and looked at the post to which you were referring (I think I quoted the right one), and I am sorry you did not get a response but also am not surprised. You are asking a question that a lot of people here are searching for the answer too and if we had it, I am guessing there would be a lot fewer of us here. Also, because there have been many posts asking the same question, I do not necessarily feel compelled to answer the same question asked for the 20th time, especially as I know you have access to the search. Which is another reason why I avoid answering many posts: because they are either more philosophical questions that we do not have a definitive answer to, or it's a very repeated question that I am just tired of seeing and answering.

I would love for threads to get a lot of responses and people to have active open discussions on many topics here, but this is the internet, and that just cannot happen. Every site goes through this, transforming from a small tight knit and close understanding community into an absolute mass as the masses find it and join

Thanks for your answer you definitely took your time which is very kind of you not many do that so I wanted to say thank you for that.
You know….now I did find my final push to ctb its the immense suffering and also the horrible disputes which I endure daily and also its the fact that i had absolutely nothing from life i just had bad luck with my family and this robbed me the life I wish I could have.
I accepted it I can't change things.
Tragic things happen in this world its unfortunately part of this world and so I will just kill myself. I really hope that this Friday i will be dead this is my wish to the universe to free myself from much more inhumane suffering which I got because of things I could never influence.
Maybe also other people here did ctb at that point when they finally realized how absolutely horrible their situation is .

 

[MicahBell]

I personally think there are many "fake" posts getting ignored.

Yet the poster thinks theyre being smart and crafty enough to "fit in".

At least thats my take on it... so many "infiltrators"...

There are lots of people on here replying to desperate people at their lowest telling them that no method works, "you might end up crippled and in pain forever if you do this," about every single method. Those people always seemed like disingenuous infiltrators to me

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Personally, i just enjoy being an antagonist ! Here's a gay cat.

View attachment retouch_2025021500055738.webp

 

[InevitableDeath]

There is also the issue of not knowing who actually wants help/advice, and who just wants to vent.

Sometimes people here just in the mindset of "misery loving company" - they want people to affirm what they already think, or commiserate.

Others, once in a while, want actual advice, and not everyone is equipped to give advice.

When everyone here is dealing with their own brand of suffering, you can't expect them to have the capacity of a therapist or a suicide hotline operator.

think many here have the capability of therapists/suicide hotlines, but yes, not the capacity.

Dying at your own hand, many times because of abuse by others, is fucking exhausting

There are lots of people on here replying to desperate people at their lowest telling them that no method works, "you might end up crippled and in pain forever if you do this," about every single method. Those people always seemed like disingenuous infiltrators to me

i suspect there's a lot of mh "pros" here. Lurk for a bit and you can separate them out.

Nothing wrong with some positivity, or warning for methods which will most likely fail, but in any community you're gonna have abusers and liars.