Why can't people understand wanting to die?

[Zandra]

What things have people said to you about suicide that you hate hearing? What do you wish they would just understand? Like the idea that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but don't understand the struggles of being suicidal and that problems arent always temporary?

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that people can't understand as they are not suicidal themselves, they cannot comprehend what we go through as they are not living our lives. I do not understand people who want to live, how could anyone want to live in a world where so much suffering exists. I personally do not tell other people that I am suicidal, I see no point to trying to get them to understand, many people do not respect the right to die and they live under a delusion that life is always worth living.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I hate when they say "why don't you just kill yourself then", like it's an easy thing. I also hate when they say there's help available, when there obviously isn't. Yes my problems aren't temporary. I hate life and suck at life and it's only getting worse and worse as I get older and dig my grave deeper. I'd wish they'd understand I just want a peaceful death. It would have been nice if there actually was some real support in society for people who have a death sentence through suicide. Not with prevention, but real support to actually go through the death. To treat our "condition" with as much respect as any other human being who's about to die would have been nice. The german philosopher Jean Amery wrote that we need to realize that "a suicide is a human". So many people kill themselves every year. It's a big part of our lives. We need to accept it. We will all die some day, but over half of us contemplate suicide during a lifetime. It's part of the human psyche, so we shouldn't hide from it or pretend it doesn't exist.

 

[Lost Magic]

They would think about dying if life forced them into thinking about it. Nobody is immune to the horrors that life can offer them. Everybody is just one bad accident or bad life event away from losing everything. I also believe that deep down they know they can always end it if life becomes impossible to deal with. They just won't admit that.

 

[arnab]

Because a lot of factors but mainly:

1. People get used to shitty lives just like people get used to anything. If you do something enough times, after a time you get used to it and you stop care. After some time you believe a chaotic lifestyle is normal and fine. But it's your brain that's messed up and can't see the reality.

2. We are wired for survival. It's engraved in our DNA to survive and everything else is not important.

3. Media , the world and people around us brainwash us in thinking life is a gift when in reality, it's a curse.

I hate when they say "why don't you just kill yourself then", like it's an easy thing. I also hate when they say there's help available, when there obviously isn't. Yes my problems aren't temporary. I hate life and suck at life and it's only getting worse and worse as I get older and dig my grave deeper. I'd wish they'd understand I just want a peaceful death. It would have been nice if there actually was some real support in society for people who have a death sentence through suicide. Not with prevention, but real support to actually go through the death. To treat our "condition" with as much respect as any other human being who's about to die would have been nice. The german philosopher Jean Amery wrote that we need to realize that "a suicide is a human". So many people kill themselves every year. It's a big part of our lives. We need to accept it. We will all die some day, but over half of us contemplate suicide during a lifetime. It's part of the human psyche, so we shouldn't hide from it or pretend it doesn't exist.

I've said it many times but all these clinics , physicians and doctors that work in psychiatric, it's just a placeholder for society so that we can be tricked into believing there's somewhere to lean on if things get out of hand mentally.

 

[arnab]

U are one of the few or only person i've seen say #3. i think that is the only true one imo .#1 is just a result of #3 if you r brainwashed then it's easy to believe anything for example to think life is good then you are willing to accept a shitty life or suffering. #2 i believe we are not a slave to our genes. a human can think anything. i can learn to hate life because of so much extreme pain and see Death as the ending of extreme pain which then becomes something very desireable as Shakespeare said a
"'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die,"

"and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep"

Speech: “To be, or not to be, that is the question”

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, The pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay, The insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of th'unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? Who would…

www.poetryfoundation.org

Yeah i devoutly wish for my Death . and to me death is the absence of pain , suffering and problems forever

Three factors are far from the true complexity of the real answer I think

 

[Sea Turtle]

People demonize what they don't understand. We are brought up to believe in the sanctity of life, to believe otherwise is "crazy".

 

[arnab]

People demonize what they don't understand. We are brought up to believe in the sanctity of life, to believe otherwise is "crazy".

Yes, because the unknown is scary to people.
People want to know what's up.
To be under the illusion of control

People are frail

 

[summertimestars4]

i dislike hearing the blanket statement platitudes people dish out, like "you are loved" and "it gets better." it overlooks many valid reasons someone may want to ctb that have nothing to do with being loved and situations that will never, ever improve. some situations are permanently messed up, like permanent injuries, degenerative diseases, certain mental illnesses, etc. not only that, maybe the person has already waited for things to get better and they never improved or got worse. anyone who starts to dish out those blanket statements is dismissed from my realm of valuing their opinion lol it's like they just wanted to check off the box in their conscience that they did something when someone ctb and now they can move on. usually they don't have the first clue on what it's like to be in our shoes, and they should consider themselves lucky and not comment.

also, besides that, i disagree with the idea that we must endure everything that happens to us. i believe everyone has their limits and that's where human dignity should be respected. if someone has had enough, they know best that they've had enough.

 

[whatevs]

I've said it many times but all these clinics , physicians and doctors that work in psychiatric, it's just a placeholder for society so that we can be tricked into believing there's somewhere to lean on if things get out of hand mentally.

I like it. We live in a "Placeholder Society". Behind the facade of things such as respectable professions, cultural values or scientific enquiry only base instincts and the ego reign supreme.

 

[hopelesscallgirl]

When people have never been suicidal they don't understand it, friends and family don't want to see a loved one go. However, they always think of how they could've prevented it rather than understanding the events that led up to the persons CTB.

 

[Red Scare]

it overlooks many valid reasons someone may want to ctb that have nothing to do with being loved and situations that will never, ever improve. some situations are permanently messed up, like permanent injuries, degenerative diseases, certain mental illnesses, etc. not only that, maybe the person has already waited for things to get better and they never improved or got worse.

omg, yes.

I am so god damned tired of people telling me this is going to get better... no it's not. My situation is permanently fucked up. It's not going to ever get better, my life has been permanently altered in unacceptable ways to me that have made my life untenable and undesirable to continue on in this way. I am so fucking tired of people telling me to get help, there is no help for me. I have waited, I have sought help. Nothing gets better, only worse. I just wish they would consider the fact that I am not going to ever get better, and that I'd rather be dead than live out this nightmare for the rest of my natural life.

 

[goingupyonder]

I hate when they say "why don't you just kill yourself then", like it's an easy thing. I also hate when they say there's help available, when there obviously isn't. Yes my problems aren't temporary. I hate life and suck at life and it's only getting worse and worse as I get older and dig my grave deeper. I'd wish they'd understand I just want a peaceful death. It would have been nice if there actually was some real support in society for people who have a death sentence through suicide. Not with prevention, but real support to actually go through the death. To treat our "condition" with as much respect as any other human being who's about to die would have been nice. The german philosopher Jean Amery wrote that we need to realize that "a suicide is a human". So many people kill themselves every year. It's a big part of our lives. We need to accept it. We will all die some day, but over half of us contemplate suicide during a lifetime. It's part of the human psyche, so we shouldn't hide from it or pretend it doesn't exist.

I agree with all of this. People always say that anyone who kills themselves is selfish. I think people who want people who don't want to be alive to stay alive because they would miss them and don't want to live without them are the selfish ones. Why would you want me to stay alive if I'm in so much pain and so miserable and have been that way for years? If you truly loved me, you would be selfless and want whatever would me me happy and bring me peace, even if it was difficult for you.

 

[Justnotme]

Всем привет. Извините, если пишу с ошибками и иногда непонятно, я очень плохо говорю по-английски, но это не является преградой для того, чтобы разделить нашу общую боль.

Из того, что мне говорили о моем состоянии, это банальные слова: что я не умею радоваться жизни, что самоубийство не решение проблем, что я поддаюсь слабости и не хочу бороться за свое счастье . Говорили, что я злая и что Я ВЫБРАЛА плохую сторону этого мира, вместо того чтобы искать во всем радость. Это просто убивает меня.
Я выбрал. Как будто я сижу и выбираю чувствовать мир так, как я всегда его чувствую.

Я воспринимаю смерть без страха. Мне противен мир, в котором кого-то убивают, режут на куски и насилуют, пока я сижу и пью чай с печеньем.
Я не люблю, когда говорят, что добра без зла не познаешь. Я думаю, это какая-то гнилая рабская установка нашего мозга.
Я полагаю, что мы могли бы быть в вечном счастье, в чистых энергиях, даже если бы не знали зла. Мы просто были бы в этих хороших энергиях, и нам просто было бы хорошо.
Я ненавижу этот мир.
Люблю добрых людей, очень люблю животных, обожаю природу этого мира.
Но... Темная сторона этого мира приносит мне невыносимую боль. У меня внутри огромная дыра, я уже весь выгорел внутри.
И я ненавижу слышать, что жизнь прекрасна, но я не вижу этого. Это ужасно.
Я доверяю своим чувствам и своей голове
И я не понимаю, как вселенная допустила то, что происходит. как?
Как произошло первое насилие, первое убийство человека\убийство животного человеком?
Мир построен на деньгах, а человеческая психика подобна наказанию.
Я не религиозный человек, так уж сложилось.
Я верю, что все человечество живет в неизвестной середине.
Мы не знаем своей человечности и не знаем, что будет после смерти.
Мы можем строить множество теорий и верить во что угодно
Но есть и варианты, которые мы никогда не можем себе представить, потому что у нас ограниченное человеческое мышление.
Я чувствую скованность в теле. Я чувствую жестокость и узость этого мира.

Этот мир представляет собой сплошное жестокое противоречие. В нем доминирует бесконечное неравенство.
Я не знаю, для чего все это, я не знаю, кто мы все такие.
Я чувствую, что жизнь не является обязательством. Это право, но не обязанность.

В этом сообществе так много людей, которые поймут меня. Но моя семья и мои друзья не могут меня понять....
Я не хочу, чтобы они чувствовали то же, что и я.
Я просто хочу уйти на очень долгое время.
Но мне нужно найти в себе силы заработать хороший способ покончить жизнь самоубийством
И мне до сих пор тяжело уходить от родителей.
Но я тоже не могу жить в бесконечной боли.

Я много написал.... Спасибо, что прочитали это.

 

[tieiwi]

One time I blurted out I was suicidal during an argument and got told I was throwing a tantrum for not getting what I want. So yea that sucked. Im done trying to get others to understand. It seems that a lot of people are so close minded…. Just because they wouldn't be suicidal they can't understand how somebody else can. Or they think it's not that serious because to them it wouldn't be that serious.