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Why can’t I just fall asleep and not wake up?
Thread starterConfront4283
Start date
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Can you imagine how amazing that'd be, if you just fell asleep and then suddenly you don't have to do this shit the next day, just peace for eternity. You don't have to fight your SI, you don't have to ctb yourself, it just happens. You avoid the guilt because it's natural causes, Why can't it be me?
Reactions:
satanpixidreamgirl, world is unfair, die_young and 13 others
I wish for the same, to just never wake again truly would be so incredibly ideal to me. All that I wish for is the peace of eternal nothingness, I only see non-existence as desirable as it's the permanent absence of all suffering and harm. I'd never want to exist no matter what, instead all I want is to be unaware for all eternity, to fall into an eternal and dreamless sleep would be such a relief and solve everything for me.
I feel you Brother / Sister. I wish the same. On the other hand I wonder if I knew that I could do this and it will 100% happen that night - would SI kick in and I won't sleep ?
Subconsciously I assume my brain knows it's not gonna die, and that gives itself peace.
I've read somewhere that there's self induced psychological death. I don't know the exact name but basically you accept death/suicide so much that you literally just die.
It's CTB in its purest form without anything(kinda).
I believe something extremely unsettling has to happen that even SI and other brain coping functions (derealization/depersonalization/depression/you name it)
cease to kick in.
I wish for this every night, I get chest pain and hope it's a heart attack. Ctb is so hard, this would be so easy. Nothing special required, just fall asleep and never wake up.
the idea of finding peace without the guilt or pain sounds so comforting. when you think about it, it feels like such a gentle way out, almost like a mercy. there's no need to fight against the overwhelming tide of emotions, no need to carry the weight of guilt or the fear of taking that final step. it's just a quiet, natural end, free from the turmoil and the pressure to make it through another day. i often wonder why it can't be like that for me as well. why can't it be as simple as falling asleep and never having to wake up to the agony again? the thought of escaping all this pain, of just fading away peacefully, is something that crosses my mind more often than i'd like to admit. there's a longing for that kind of release, for that kind of rest. it's hard to navigate these feelings and even harder to express them.
I wish every night I could fall asleep and die without any trouble or mess left behind. I wish my life could just be snuffed out like a candle flame. I want everything to be over.
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