Help Why cant I go through with it?

[allysnapple25]

I know I want to ctb but whenever I'm about to do it I just go ''I'll do it tomorrow'' and then tomorrow comes and I'm like ''I'll do it tomorrow'' I get this scared feeling all of a sudden, how do I over come it? I dont care for life to be honest not sad or depressed I just dont want to be here but I cant bring myself to make that final step how do I do it?

 

[Valky]

It's often referred to here as SI which means Survival instinct. Tho, I can't tell you if you truly just aren't ready or if it is your SI playing games, therefore you gotta figure that out for yourself first.

 

[squirley]

What is your method ?
Maybe try the recovery section?

 

[Aergia]

Your SI is just ingrained into your biology. If you truly don't want to die, consider what interests— real or potential— you may have in living and try to focus on those

 

[Darkover]

maybe the method you are using is scary that's what's holding you back or maybe your not quite ready

 

[Dot]

What is your method ?
Maybe try the recovery section?

Nt sre recvry sectn = wht thy r lookng fr if thy r tryn2 ovr-cme SI

 

[FuneralCry]

I imagine that many people manage to go through with ctb when they just get so determined and desperate to leave, but it's just the reality that suicide just isn't straightforward, I know that if I had a method as peaceful as Nembutal then I would have no problems going through with ctb but sadly we exist in this anti-suicide society where suicide is purposely made so difficult for people.

And it's certainly like the SI exists just to prolong suffering and keep us trapped here, I get that it's awful feeling trapped here when you wish to leave.

 

[squirley]

Nt sre recvry sectn = wht thy r lookng fr if thy r tryn2 ovr-cme SI

Yah sorry the OP is a little confusing.
Is it over coming SI or
Is the mind asking for help ? This is why I asked for the method as well. Maybe it was causing the SI ? Either way good luck to the OP you can find various threads on whatever direction you choose.

I imagine that many people manage to go through with ctb when they just get so determined and desperate to leave, but it's just the reality that suicide just isn't straightforward, I know that if I had a method as peaceful as Nembutal then I would have no problems going through with ctb but sadly we exist in this anti-suicide society where suicide is purposely made so difficult for people.

And it's certainly like the SI exists just to prolong suffering and keep us trapped here, I get that it's awful feeling trapped here when you wish to leave.

Well said.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I know I want to ctb but whenever I'm about to do it I just go ''I'll do it tomorrow'' and then tomorrow comes and I'm like ''I'll do it tomorrow'' I get this scared feeling all of a sudden, how do I over come it? I dont care for life to be honest not sad or depressed I just dont want to be here but I cant bring myself to make that final step how do I do it?

As others already mentioned it's your SI that makes you hesitate. Nobody can tell you how to do it, how to overcome SI as this is individual. When you are ready you will be able to defeat SI but still it will be a difficult task. I hope you can find strength and peace!