Why aren't you doing it right now?

[throwaway123]

....you aren't and that's the thing. Just do it. Why are you procrastinating?
Why are you coming up with all these well-thought out excuses?
Why are you always putting it off for a day, a week, a month, a year?
Why are you always "hoping" to CTB?

Heck, you shouldn't hope, you should do it! Don't say "I'm going to try to CTB tomorrow" You should say "I'm going to CTB tomorrow!"
It won't matter if you CTB next week or next week, what matters is that you CTB now while you can!

If you keep thinking like this you will stay forever trapped here. And that also goes for me because only now have I realized this.

 

[NOT SURE ANYMORE]

Since joining this I have noticed a few users who I have saw who have had multiple "I am doing this tomorrow" "Been testing now I am ready" then only to see them on here a month later, still claiming their desire to ctb because everything is awful.

On the other hand I see other people who are feeling this way and understand that they are going to in the future but are taking the time to make sure everything is right before hand.

You cant force people to go, but having the feelings and acting on them are very different.

I truly believe for SOME people. Its more of a fetish or a cry for help than a real desire.

 

[Chinaski]

I haven't been here long but the only thing stitching me together is cowardice, I've done tests and think l could do it with partial but need to drum up the last ounce of courage. I think for many, admitting their own cowardice is difficult, but l avoid reading any threads along the lines of "going to ctb on 5th August 2026" or "METHOD: Waiting to die of old age".

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

im confident i will ctb within the next 20 years

 

[Midnight]

Same reason you haven't done it yet either i guess. No point in trying to force people into doing it. Everyone can do it when/how they see fit.

Also not every user here has threads where they talk about a near future attempt. Not everyone is here crying for help.

I don't see the reasons why i haven't done it yet as an excuse by any means.

 

[worldexploder]

I'm in the process of eating 2 subway sandwiches after drinking for 15 hours.

 

[RacilyDank]

There's differing levels of suicidality.

One person might be resolute that they're going to kill themselves and don't hesitate to pull the trigger (so to speak).

Another may feel that it's their only choice, but lacks the motivation/bravery/whatever to go through with it.

Some may be positive they want to but are researching how to do it successfully as least painfully as possible. As soon as they've found their method, research it further but change their mind about it.

A lot have suicidal ideation, and at some points think "I HAVE to go through with it" and at others just passively desire death.

It's not an easy thing to do...

 

[hunter_lewis]

This site is pro choice, but not pro encouragement.
Everyone must ctb at their own pace. It is nothing to be rushed into.
Please don't listen to throwaway on this topic

 

[samhelloall9]

There's differing levels of suicidality.

One person might be resolute that they're going to kill themselves and don't hesitate to pull the trigger (so to speak).

Another may feel that it's their only choice, but lacks the motivation/bravery/whatever to go through with it.

Some may be positive they want to but are researching how to do it successfully as least painfully as possible. As soon as they've found their method, research it further but change their mind about it.

A lot have suicidal ideation, and at some points think "I HAVE to go through with it" and at others just passively desire death.

It's not an easy thing to do...

And whinging users like me who whinge they can't get anything, have no money, have no luck on any way shape or form. Yet "I" actually want to go. Sigh. Guess no one knows unless the shoes on the other foot. Good grief :(

 

[Trashcan]

Because there are people in the house and that would be very risky. But I know I have around at least 3 opportunities this week where I will be home alone. I'll do it then unless something goes wrong or I end up wimping out of it.

Why aren't you doing it yet, OP?

 

[jaemus12]

1. I'm currently working on my suicide notes.

2. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a pussy and I'm scared of pain and failure.

3. I have a couple of solid methods but I am still sort of looking for a method with a higher chance of success on my attempt.

 

[MortDeVivre]

Because I will do it on a specific date. My odds will never be better than on that date. And that date is not today.

 

[Deivis]

Because everyone - you, me, that guy in a gutter, this guy in Lamborghini - are ridden with false hope and false expectations.

"Something will change". The moment you realise it won't - the calmness and determination will fall on you and you will do it.

I read alot about WW2, war conflicts, the psychology of evil. Humans never change: it takes only 10-20 guards to march a 500-strong crowd to a gas chamber. The condemned know perfectly that this is their last march, yet they still hope for the best. They rarely try to overpower their captors.
This is their last moments, why wouldnt you try to break free? No. Very seldom.

Human psyche is the bitchest bitch.

 

[wagram]

Have to wait till my kids are at their mother.

 

[Circles]

I have 2 ounces of weed to finish, hopefully other drugs if I can get it. Also I can't forget alcohol my silent partner. I don't want to hurt my mother, sister and dog but I keep feeling that they'll never understand so why bother especially since they'll be dead. They expect you to live through their deaths but god forbid it's your death that they'll have to live with. Everyone's going to die so either way someone is going to get sad and quite honestly I'd rather be selfish as fuck than to go witness another family death especially my beautiful dog. I just can't handle it okay. Also because of my depersonalizations I feel at times that my family doesn't really exist and they are only here to keep me here trapped. Other than that I really don't want to be in an even worse position than it already is. Like one method for me are train tracks and after looking at gore sites of the aftermaths it's unsettling especially since my father was a quadriplegic and paralyzed and that is no way to live. Also I'm scared of the pain, the decomposition of the only thing that made me ME. And while I'm not scared of death per se it's still built into our reptilian brains to be afraid of the unknown. I hope there's complete nothingness forever and ever but there's still that small possibility that there's an afterlife which I won't like cause it's still forced onto you. Plus there's the eternal reoccurrence where you live the same life over and over and over again or reincarnation. Like seriously fuck all that nonsense. It's overbearing and exhausting to have already lived one pathetic life. There are other reasons of course but I think you get the point.

 

[Slacker]

please go first and show us mister motivational speaker :D

 

[BjartNO]

It's not easy for a lot of us.
Some of us only have difficult methods available to us. If I had access to a gun I would be long gone.
I have never had a failed attempt and I am positive that I never will.
However I have to find myself in the right frame of mind to actually be able to go through with it.
I have started the process to prepare everything for that time when I am in that frame of mind.

 

[Duqu]

I'm definitely a "future-er" like, I may be fairly miserable right now but I don't plan to KTB for a little while yet. I have everything I need ingredients/med-wise for my plan 1 and backup plan but don't plan on actually implementing them until my cat dies (which yes I know seems pathetic but he's really the only thing holding me here now and he really suffered last time I was away from him for 3 weeks (hospitalization ugh) so I know he really cares for me as much as a cat can - and I know I can't live without him so when he dies so will I). He's 11 so it could be anywhere from a few months to 5 years(ish). If things get too bad I could go earlier I guess but I am terrified of the thought of him going to a shelter and being euthanized because he has feline leukemia (asymptomatic - he got really sick as a kitten when he was dxed but hasn't been sick since! I had him retested twice just to make sure and yup he has it...so strange but no complaints from me).

 

[Jaded]

Some people have to be in the right frame of mind to CTB. Some can't just do it because it's a huge sacrifice that goes against your inbuilt survival instinct.

 

[Ella Disenchanted]

No one should have to explain themselves or prove they're suicidal enough.

 

[PatKat]

....you aren't and that's the thing. Just do it. Why are you procrastinating?
Why are you coming up with all these well-thought out excuses?
Why are you always putting it off for a day, a week, a month, a year?
Why are you always "hoping" to CTB?

Heck, you shouldn't hope, you should do it! Don't say "I'm going to try to CTB tomorrow" You should say "I'm going to CTB tomorrow!"
It won't matter if you CTB next week or next week, what matters is that you CTB now while you can!

If you keep thinking like this you will stay forever trapped here. And that also goes for me because only now have I realized this.

After I get back from my trip to see my family I will ctb Oct 10th.

 

[Kogoruhn]

I live with my family, which complicates things. I discarded most methods and i decided to stay with hanging. I need a moment alone to practice a bit (tying knots, trying to pass out). Only then i will be ready

 

[TheGoodGuy]

....you aren't and that's the thing. Just do it. Why are you procrastinating?
Why are you coming up with all these well-thought out excuses?
Why are you always putting it off for a day, a week, a month, a year?
Why are you always "hoping" to CTB?

Heck, you shouldn't hope, you should do it! Don't say "I'm going to try to CTB tomorrow" You should say "I'm going to CTB tomorrow!"
It won't matter if you CTB next week or next week, what matters is that you CTB now while you can!

If you keep thinking like this you will stay forever trapped here. And that also goes for me because only now have I realized this.

Absolutely agree. Suicide is something you just need to do, no amount of preparation will make it easier to do it it just needs to be done.

 

[Trashcan]

No one should have to explain themselves or prove they're suicidal enough.

This isn't the first time the OP has made a post like this. Kind of ironic he has posted almost 600 messages on here.

 

[deflagrat]

This site is pro choice, but not pro encouragement.
Everyone must ctb at their own pace. It is nothing to be rushed into.
Please don't listen to throwaway on this topic

Some people don't have it bad enough to actually kill themselves even if they feel like killing themselves sometimes. My life is fine and it will be fine for a long time. I have no reason to listen to him, none of you should.

 

[Abel]

please go first and show us mister motivational speaker :D

"Be the change you want to see in the world!" :D

 

[Abel]

...In all seriousness. If I died it'd destroy my parents. While I wish they hadn't brought me into this world, they are very good people, and the idea of making them suffer pains me greatly. It's not to the point where I'll choose not to ctb, because living is becoming unbearable, but as their only child I want to make to at least make sure they'll have enough finances to retire comfortably (which isn't the case right now), that they have a solid support system in place (also isn't the case right now for my mother), etc.

 

[Maravillosa]

...In all seriousness. If I died it'd destroy my parents. While I wish they hadn't brought me into this world, they are very good people, and the idea of making them suffer pains me greatly. It's not to the point where I'll choose not to ctb, because living is becoming unbearable, but as their only child I want to make to at least make sure they'll have enough finances to retire comfortably (which isn't the case right now), that they have a solid support system in place (also isn't the case right now for my mother), etc.

If I ctb now, my mother would be devastated and would have to enter a convalescent home, since I would no longer be there to change her diaper, put the bedpan under her, give her things, etc. She would hate living in a convalescent home: she hated being in one temporarily for rehab after the surgery on her spine this past February. I do not want to hurt her.

 

[Marystevenson1001]

I struggle with this alot. Why not now?? It's always my question to myself. I guess I feel like when I feel super content about it, it will be time but that hasn't happened yet. I am so close tho! Sometimes frustratingly close.

And sometimes, strangely I kinda live vicariously through people on this forum who have the courage to attempt and succeed. So sometimes, like right now, when I really want to do it, I come read this forum. And live another day.

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

op, you made some good points. I have everything I need to die 3 times over and I have done everything I could to get better. If I don't get off my ass and do this, I might not be able to do so in the coming months.