Discussion Why arent you dead yet?

[metri]

haven't found a method yet, I live in a pretty conservative country so no access to guns, don't think there's even trains here? nothing to overdose on, i've seen a couple videos of people hanging themselves and that just doesn't seem like the way i wanna go etc. i'm not impatient so when i find the perfect method for me, i'll be prepared to do it.

 

[hopeless08]

Because my dog needs me. She has never judged me, never done a single bad thing, always been there for me after failed or aborted attempts; she deserves to live the best life.

I completely understand you 9 years ago I lived alone with my dog, who was my life, I was extremely suicidal and was going to do it with pills but then I looked at him and I couldn't leave him.

I have a juicy bottle of Sn sitting right there in my closet and I'm still here. It's also not that I'm scared to do it either when I think about it I feel relieved, and still I'm here. Ig I want to make sure there's no hope left or it's just Si

I'm pretty new here and don't know a lot of the code words. What's sn

 

[MarsProxy]

I need my partner's ashes first. Then a method. I'm also worried about the pain it'll cause my sister, but I can't keep living like this for her sake.

 

[Kit1]

I am still here for my children though feeling suicidal is quite normal for me. However at times (like since last night), I am literally feeling so angry and filled with rage asking why most of us here are considering ending our lives and why life is so unfair. Just wish we could fight back and find true happiness and acceptance - to the point that I don't want any vulnerable person to end their life. But I am sure I will be back to feeling suicidal as reality will return to hit me.

 

[Nineinchnails]

I'm just timing it. Before everything went worse i was expecting to see how life would develop for me, challenged it to give me a last chance to change my mind, for my loved ones' sake. That didn't happen, and it actually got worse, and i don't want to deal with all this pain and agony that'll repeatedly happen on my life. I wonder if i should do it after my dad's birthday or before, or maybe on new year? Maybe after? I don't know if I'll endure that much. Tldr: I'm unsure about the timing

 

[deadbody]

Consequensces of my possible failure.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I want my preferred method to ctb. Most other methods can have terrifying consequences if you fail. I also want to finish up some life things but if I can ctb soon with my method I will.

What method do you have in mind?

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

What method do you have in mind?

Just the typical SN
It seems one of the most peaceful

 

[Boller Bryant]

1. I'm a coward
2. I don't want to survive a failed attempt
3. I don't want to put someone in danger when I CTB myself
4. My delusional belief that somehow it'll be better in the future

 

[Adûnâi]

However if you really think about it its pretty easy to kill yourself...objectively anyway. Get a rope get a decent tree and yay.....

I did fantasise about it half a year ago, but:
1) where do I buy the right kind of rope?
2) how do I know which type of the tree is fitting? There aren't extensive guides on the issue;
3) how do I prevent people from discovering me?
4) how do I even reach the destination? Do I take a bus to a nearby rural area here in the Ukraine? Do I scout the route beforehand? Do I do it at night? What if I get attacked by stray dogs? What if I get kidnapped and sold into sexual slavery on the front lines? (uwu)

Plus, it's painful, or so I heard. In a word, it's a total, utter mess. Did I have the skills to kill myself, I wouldn't be here in the first place - because I would function normally in society.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I completely understand you 9 years ago I lived alone with my dog, who was my life, I was extremely suicidal and was going to do it with pills but then I looked at him and I couldn't leave him.

I'm pretty new here and don't know a lot of the code words. What's sn

SN = sodium nitrite. A popular method of suicide on this forum is to OD (overdose) on it. If you take too much SN you die. It's attractive as a suicide agent as it knocks you unconscious before you die, so, in theory, you don't suffer too much.

 

[MiMif]

I did fantasise about it half a year ago, but:
1) where do I buy the right kind of rope?
2) how do I know which type of the tree is fitting? There aren't extensive guides on the issue;
3) how do I prevent people from discovering me?
4) how do I even reach the destination? Do I take a bus to a nearby rural area here in the Ukraine? Do I scout the route beforehand? Do I do it at night? What if I get attacked by stray dogs? What if I get kidnapped and sold into sexual slavery on the front lines? (uwu)

Plus, it's painful, or so I heard. In a word, it's a total, utter mess. Did I have the skills to kill myself, I wouldn't be here in the first place - because I would function normally in society.

I've attempted hanging before....not in a tree however which is why it failed because the anchor was weak.

It doesn't hurt too much....your head will hurt a bit it will feel kinda like something is squeezing down on it....honestly just like a bad headache.


A good tree is a tree that is thick with thick branches...a way to test is by first loosely hanging on your chosen branch before putting up the rope...if it snaps or creaks it's no good. A rope isn't that hard to find....honestly just go to a hardware store or go on Amazon look at reviews and look if people say the rope doesn't snap

SN = sodium nitrite. A popular method of suicide on this forum is to OD (overdose) on it. If you take too much SN you die. It's attractive as a suicide agent as it knocks you unconscious before you die, so, in theory, you don't suffer too much.

What is SI?

 

[dggtscccvfd]

Why am I not dead yet? I have a physical health problem - a breathing disorder - that could be fixed with surgery but may not be. I've got surgery lined up for the new year, if it doesn't work, I'll CTB!

I've attempted hanging before....not in a tree however which is why it failed because the anchor was weak.

It doesn't hurt too much....your head will hurt a bit it will feel kinda like something is squeezing down on it....honestly just like a bad headache.


A good tree is a tree that is thick with thick branches...a way to test is by first loosely hanging on your chosen branch before putting up the rope...if it snaps or creaks it's no good

What is SI?

SI= survival instinct. One must overcome this in order to CTB.

 

[MiMif]

Why am I not dead yet? I have a physical health problem - a breathing disorder - that could be fixed with surgery but may not be. I've got surgery lined up for the new year, if it doesn't work, I'll CTB!

SI= survival instinct. One must overcome this in order to CTB.

Does SI also mean suicide idealation or something....because sometimes people on this site use it wierdly I'm confused

 

[dggtscccvfd]

Does SI also mean suicide idealation or something....because sometimes people on this site use it wierdly I'm confused

I haven't seen it used with that meaning, but it could be.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's not easy to ctb at all, as we exist in this anti-suicide society where suicide is purposely made so difficult for people.
In my case I'm only trapped here because methods are either inaccessible or risky for me, it's cruel and horrible how we cannot just have the option to die in peace even know this world is filled with suffering and it isn't like we could have ever consented to being here in the first place.

 

[hopeless08]

SN = sodium nitrite. A popular method of suicide on this forum is to OD (overdose) on it. If you take too much SN you die. It's attractive as a suicide agent as it knocks you unconscious before you die, so, in theory, you don't suffer too much.

Is it something that I can easily get?

 

[dggtscccvfd]

Is it something that I can easily get?

3 years ago, it was easy to buy, you could get it on Amazon, EBay, and Walmart. Unfortunately, due to loads of people using it to CTB, most companies have shifted to selling to businesses and organisations only. This is especially the case in the developed world (e.g the US & EU).

It's still possible to get it by importing it, but it's tough. My best guess is that within a couple of years, that route too will be sealed off.

 

[hopeless08]

I'm just timing it. Before everything went worse i was expecting to see how life would develop for me, challenged it to give me a last chance to change my mind, for my loved ones' sake. That didn't happen, and it actually got worse, and i don't want to deal with all this pain and agony that'll repeatedly happen on my life. I wonder if i should do it after my dad's birthday or before, or maybe on new year? Maybe after? I don't know if I'll endure that much. Tldr: I'm unsure about the timing

I completely understand I'm thinking of the pain my loved ones will go through but at the same time my pain is unbearable.
As for the timing, it's my mothers birthday in a week , my sisters two days after and then the holidays but the reality is that no matter what day we do it on, the pain they'll go through will be the same

 

[兎の耳]

Why am I not dead? Fear of failure, family / parents, things (why I want to CTB) are bad but obviously not too bad, perhaps still too much hope left.

It's funny isn't it? Hope makes us keep going even when it hurts. Sometimes I think hope is responsible for more suffering than any other emotion.

 

[Adûnâi]

It's funny isn't it? Hope makes us keep going even when it hurts. Sometimes I think hope is responsible for more suffering than any other emotion.

Pyromancer was right all along! (A WoW lore conspiracy YouTuber.)

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's funny isn't it? Hope makes us keep going even when it hurts. Sometimes I think hope is responsible for more suffering than any other emotion.

Unfortunately we humans can endure more suffering than we can even think of.

 

[Old Friend]

Can't get SN. Going to have to consider other methods. I might have to hang myself.

 

[numbed one]

Can't find a peacefull méthode and buy it easily , also i'm scared of failing.

 

[annxietty]

A mixture of cowardice and hope I guess

It's funny isn't it? Hope makes us keep going even when it hurts. Sometimes I think hope is responsible for more suffering than any other emotion.

I often think life this too, its like you are glad you have hope because its a "positive" feeling but it makes you suffer so fucking much that you wish you could get away from it, its like a sick joke, you have things and/or people that give you hope and then it gets crushed because life is like that, it sucks, and then hope comes back and you get progressively more tired, and I suppose someday you will be too tired to feel hope...

 

[Deicius]

I'm just chillin, avoiding that task cause I'm too lazy, and I keep puttin it off. Figured if I delay long enough, fate might step in, like I catch a bus or someone does me a favor, and I'm off the hook without liftin a finger.

 

[Endoflifecomestoall]

Because my dog needs me. She has never judged me, never done a single bad thing, always been there for me after failed or aborted attempts; she deserves to live the best life.

Because my dog needs me. She has never judged me, never done a single bad thing, always been there for me after failed or aborted attempts; she deserves to live the best life.

I know the feeling but Daisy (our dog) has enough love a d affection for everyone

 

[melancholia_melodia]

Because I'm still a bit scared of death and the afterlife, I still need more practice to perfect my suicide and overcome the fears.

 

[ouf]

i don't want to ruin my family's holidays.

 

[loopdaloop]

It's objectively made to be as difficult as possible on purpose. One preventive measure they take is restrict all the peaceful and reliable methods... it could have been a lot easier.