Discussion Why arent you dead yet?

[MiMif]

Ok yeah the question is kinda vague and I can predict the answers.


However if you really think about it its pretty easy to kill yourself...objectively anyway. Get a rope get a decent tree and yay.....or go find a train and go on the tracks your guaranteed to die.

Killing yourself objectively isnt very hard...if you were super determined too you really could. You could probably even down some laundry detergent or something. Go inside a car and drive off a bridge. People die everyday often by accident even.

By the way Im suicidal and i was thinking about this question for myself. Ive tried hangiing a couple times but the lever broke. However there is a train by me and I could easily jump infront of it. There is also a gun somewhere in my residence...i dont know exactly where it is as it isnt mine but if i really wanted too i could find it. Pretty hard not to die with a shot to the head.


Honestly I dont have a precise answer for this question. My answer is mainly due to me being too lazy and depressed to even get up and try suicide more often. Ive tried about 10x by now with about 4 different methods. However I know if I really wanted to I could drive into a wall or jump infront of a train.

I honestly wish a button could just appear for me to press and kill myself.

 

[the_path_of_sorrows]

Because my dog needs me. She has never judged me, never done a single bad thing, always been there for me after failed or aborted attempts; she deserves to live the best life.

 

[ADeadBunny]

Honestly, the methods you've described aren't methods I personally consider viable due to the ease of fucking yourself up worse. Sure I could crash my car or I could jump infront of a train, but why go through that pain when there are more painless and less violent ways to go about it.

My method of choice is an exit bag. I have made the bag, set up the regulator, and procured a sufficient amount of nitrogen. I haven't done it yet because there are people that depend on me right now. Very few people, but people none the less. People with opportunity and hope that I couldn't dream of having. I can't bear to make their lives worse by me suddenly not being able to come through for them. The moment that their need for me has passed, I will have too.

As tortured as I feel, the only thing that I can hold on to is empathy. I want to end my suffering, but when has whatever I wanted ever really mattered. The people around me will do great things and if they need me to suffer for just a while, then I will. I've suffered my entire life and I can suffer a little longer. What's a couple months for 20 years? It's insignifigant in the grand scheme of things.

I don't have a concrete day as my last, but it'll come soon enough. I'll write my last words, say my last goodbyes and I'll be gone. It'll be a pretty day with no expectations. I'll finally rest and the world will be all the better for it.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Parents would be ashamed of me.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Why am I not dead? Fear of failure, family / parents, things (why I want to CTB) are bad but obviously not too bad, perhaps still too much hope left.

 

[savoytruffle]

im scared

 

[MiMif]

Parents would be ashamed of me.

Dont take this the wrong way.
But you wont have to worry about that once your dead. Ofcourse however you shouldnt feel forced to ctb...if your not completly confident in your decision than hold off on doing it,


But other people being disappointed in you shouldn't hold you back if its what you actually want and you feel the suffering is too much to bear than go for it You wont have to worry about it once your dead.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I want my preferred method to ctb. Most other methods can have terrifying consequences if you fail. I also want to finish up some life things but if I can ctb soon with my method I will.

 

[bungalooping]

I just cannot find a viable method

 

[MiMif]

im scared

compleltly understandable and nothing to be ashamed of. Really wish everyone had a button they could simply press to die.

 

[real person]

i need a good SN source and antiemetic and as soon as i get those things im gone

 

[reiII]

i don't want my best friend to be sad and feel like they could've done more to help me. i love my best friend very much, even though we haven't known each other for years like most best friends. there are also a few more things i'd like to do before really accelerating the ctb effort

 

[phoenixdown]

Won't buy a gun sober, can't buy one drunk. Won't get drunk anyways. I'm way more functional sober, but life is unbearable for it.
I still consume a lot of internet porn as a hail back cope device, and switched from a lot of alcohol to a lot of pot as a substitute.
Just quit smoking 2 months ago, are quitting more things the answer when quitting alcohol has made my quality of life much worse?

This is more or less the current events, saw a close family member attempt and have ravings about how you can't stop someone who wants to. Starting not wearing a seatbelt and other risky reckless behaviors before addiction.

Looking into maybe getting into cyber security as a new occupation, then self doubt and doubts about the relevancy of the material im looking at makes everything seem not worth it. Ended up back here, feel more in my element here. I feel belonging.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Heart and brain still working

 

[Abyssal]

Not much. Willpower and shipping dates.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

SI

 

[rileywatson]

I just keep ending up with responsibilities and I don't want to let the few people I care strongly about down.

 

[vuberpoot1]

bad circumstances, rethinking things, periodically having hope things get better. I also still feel obligated to fulfill my obligations weirdly enough, not really sure why or what compels me to. I'm gradually falling off, though, and the hope is dying, so I'm not sure where I'm gonna go from there.

 

[SeaBreeze]

Still vaguely assuming I'll pass another way first. Shoulder shrugs are easier now though

 

[Mea Culpa]

Survival instinct/fear. I've tried multiple times, I have everything ready to go, but when I get close I get afraid.

 

[Battered_Seoul]

Overactive imagination.

 

[Dara Argith]

I'm too weak. I'm trash. The shred of me that clings to life won't let go.

 

[Sylveon]

Because I f*****g suck.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

There are a few reasons. Survival instinct. Having the lack of energy to do anything which also applies to looking for suicide methods. Not to mention I'm a failure in basically everything and this is no different when it comes to suicide methods. For me to actually kill myself, I'd literally need N to be handed to me in a platter which obviously won't happen

 

[Little_Suzy]

Failure!

I tried jumping, hanging, and drowning.

Then I tried starving myself, but on Day 2, SI kicked in when I drove by McDonalds, and I ate 3 Big Macs.

Today, I ordered, you know, "n." So, with my Prime membership, it should be here tomorrow. Guys, please, nobody PM me asking for the Seller. Thanks!


"What doesn't kill us, makes us suffer longer!"

 

[SoulofSteel]

I have a hope that things might change.

 

[Green_leaf]

Overactive imagination.

Strenghtens SI considerably if badly handled.

 

[Abandoned Character]

Prime membership

Bruh are you ordering this off amazon?

Ain't no way

 

[CloudyNightSky]

I have a juicy bottle of Sn sitting right there in my closet and I'm still here. It's also not that I'm scared to do it either when I think about it I feel relieved, and still I'm here. Ig I want to make sure there's no hope left or it's just Si

 

[freetrees]

I don't want to feel pain in my last moment