Why are you suicidal?

[LifeDestroyedMe]

I'm suicidal because my health got destroyed by antipsychotic injections. I have severe brain damage and anhedonia. Wbu?

 

[FuneralCry]

Because existing is something completely undesirable in every single way, I think it's such a dreadful curse having the ability to suffer so extremely, there is nothing appealing about this futile process of waiting around to die, destined to suffer and decay. Only non-existence is ideal for me, I've always wished to not exist as to me that is true peace from everything and the only relief, existence is just an unnecessary harm.

 

[Namensjemand]

I never wanted to live how I lived. Not at all. But I did. Split myself off from reality and lost myself to pointless mind games and increasing madness. Now I am wide awake and my life seems to be destroyed on all levels. All behind me is waste and shame and horrible and all self-inflicted while I had every opportunity in the world. I just enjoy the idea of no longer being myself. It is immensely attractive.

 

[Bronzehawkattack]

Im miserable, hideous, and alone. Im not someone capable of being desired and I no longer find joy in life.

 

[Orbitc]

Because I can't live the way I want to. I earn not bad to rent an expensive apartment in an elite area, go to good restaurants but this is not the standard of living that I would like. I want a lot of money and power to take revenge on those I hate. I can't be happy if I don't destroy the lives of those who hurt me

I'm suicidal because my health got destroyed by antipsychotic injections. I have severe brain damage and anhedonia. Wbu

It's terrible to imagine what the doctors did to you - most doctors are idiots. I know this because I have rheumatism and I had to study pharmacology and I am very good at it and it is so scary to meet idiots among doctors who do not even know about such a group of drugs as monoclonal autoantibodies! The worst thing about this is that doctors do not bear any responsibility for what they do with patients. I also have a terrible story about how I suffered because of an idiot doctor, but I don't want to tell it - fortunately it was a temporary discomfort.

 

[Orbitc]

Because existing is something completely undesirable in every single way, I think it's such a dreadful curse having the ability to suffer so extremely, there is nothing appealing about this futile process of waiting around to die, destined to suffer and decay. Only non-existence is ideal for me, I've always wished to not exist as to me that is true peace from everything and the only relief, existence is just an unnecessary harm.

My most terrible memory is the first time I realized that I exist - this is the first meaningful memory - I was sitting in a sandbox in a white cotton swimsuit with a blue sparrow pattern and was terribly unhappy with the new sensation - the feeling of realizing that I consciously perceive this world and my existence - I screamed and cried fiercely and cried simply because I did not like it)))

 

[Mtilla]

I am over 40 and so so alone. I have nobody that loves me. My dementia mother will die soon. I live in fear, have social phobia. I got pregnant by a mentally abusive boyfriend 3 years ago and killed the baby by very late abortion with giving birth after killing him with a pill. I regretted it the moment I swallowed the pill. But fearful of life and caring for life. I now am to old but can't live without my son or a child . I can't live with myself and the desicion I made. I wish killing myself was easier. I am thinking of drinking something and die in my sleep. Or just walk into the ocean abroad and drown. Nobody would care.

 

[singularity3]

It is not "suicidal". voluntary death is simply resorted to when we can no longer. "suicidal" is a dirty word they want us to use as an identity, as a label.

 

[Haruka]

I don't have my Mum anymore, and she was the only one who had any love for me. I'm hoping to go in the next few years, but everything is getting harder and I'm not sure how easy it'll be go to by then.

 

[Sweet Tart]

I've tried everything I can think of, for years and years, and can no longer avoid the reality that I'm in a rut that I can't find a way out of. My family is sick of having me around in the state I am in. It feels like the path ends here.

 

[ollo]

Because existing is something completely undesirable in every single way, I think it's such a dreadful curse having the ability to suffer so extremely, there is nothing appealing about this futile process of waiting around to die, destined to suffer and decay. Only non-existence is ideal for me, I've always wished to not exist as to me that is true peace from everything and the only relief, existence is just an unnecessary harm.

Permutations are far too many, few of them might get a better chance in life

 

[Walilamdzii]

Several reasons. I fell in love with a narcissist many years ago. I lost all the opportunities I worked for. I lost my sanity.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm suicidal because my health got destroyed by antipsychotic injections. I have severe brain damage and anhedonia. Wbu?

A breakup and the consequent feeling afterwards, I made a fairly lengthy post on it

Edit: the post is HERE anyone is interested.

 

[ollo]

My anxiety is killing me from inside. I can't open up to anyone, cause judgement and it will have consequences. I featr them. I had panic long back which messed up my life, followed by tinnitus which left me 6 months of horror and sleepless nights. Worst of all I'm not a bright or brilliant person. All these situations left me lagging behind and left to bite the dust. Everyday is a struggle to understand or reason for existence, making stupid decisions. Feeling low and bad about myself. Not able to look into the eye of others and converse with anyone. Feeling like a fragment of useless and worthless shit which some how got placed in between people of high worthy and intellect. Also im not smart or crisp in my thoughts or actions, i can't understand anything other person is saying. Asking doubts or saying I didn't get anything is is looked down and considered at unfit for fast paced work life. That's why since I'm useless anyway, why not just peacefully drift to death. Also I have no family that cares for me. So I live alone in the a crowd.

 

[mob]

I've had my fair share of trauma, and I don't want to get older. I've known I'd end up leaving by CTB since I was 13 or so. Most importantly, I want to decide myself when I want to leave this world. I do not want to wait until death gets me - and I assume I'll still live for a long time if I don't do something about it. Basically, I want to live the next few years "happily" and do whatever I want to do before I leave.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't see any bright future ahead of me.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

Because I was hurting on my own, got closer to death than I ever imagined and fucked it up.

Only to come back to square one, reminiscing how horrible the experience of failure is, while crying in my bed alone.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Hella trauma from 23 yrs of various forms of abuse. But tbh it didn't stopped when I moved away in 2021 it just lessened.
Now as I've started to heal & experience that basic human right (?) Of feeling worth in my life, joy, a right to live... I wasn't allowed to feel those things. The abuse would increase if I tried. Im just coming to that revelation now. It's really sad/heavy.

Anyway on top of that I now have a plethora of health issues both mental & physical. Me living isnt even possible to me anymore honestly. It's too fucking much. I didn't ask for this. I just wanted really basic things like experiencing joy without being abused for it... but alas. As I've finally moved away I'm too fucking consumed with health issues and shit. I'm just over this struggle.

 

[UnfeelingVoid]

Regret and self loathing over my past actions, and a lack of interest in any field of work for the future.

 

[day]

There's no reason to live when I'm not even in the right body to begin with. I'm a target for sexual abuse, and manipulation. Life is so pointless to me despite my best efforts. All I want is to exit something I never asked for in the first place.

 

[Alltheywanted]

Despite my young age, I am very tired of life.

 

[Whatshouldmynamebe]

Bpd, adhd, depression, dyslexia, not seeing anyway I can live a proper fulfilled life

 

[GasMonkey]

Genetics + Environment.

 

[StolenLife]

I am traumatized beyond repair and I'm starting to show signs of schizophrenia.

 

[SenseOfLoss]

Mistreatment and overdose with cortisone. Caused massive symptoms of poisoning and side effects, which partially disappeared again. Permanent damage: severe depression and anxiety, water retention in the face, resulting in dysmorphophobia.

 

[sylver]

Bipolar disorder jas wrecked me beyond belief. I have my life completely in order now... university is doing great, I have a nice job, my family is healthy, we transitioned from lower class to middle class, I have a wonderful girlfriend, my meds are working... but the almost two decades of trauma beforehand has made me so numb that I barely care for all that and just want to go to sleep.

 

[outrider567]

Acute Loss

 

[pyroxenic]

My life is technically "better" than is was several years ago. But due to long term trauma and years of battling with my mental illnesse(s) it made me suicidal for almost a decade. And now feeling suicidal or passively suicidal is basically my deafult state? Its hard to describe. But i cant imagine myself being in a mental state where i am not suicidal 24/7.

 

[HAKMKS]

I'm suicidal because my health got destroyed by antipsychotic injections. I have severe brain damage and anhedonia. Wbu?

Because my psych destroyed my life

 

[LowlyBoy]

one word: transgender