So, this thread is what I'm going to refer people to if they wanna know my story of why I'm here and what's led to my pretty bad state of mind these past few months, and what inevitably made me return to this site. To those who know my story, I'm sorry for posting about it a lot, just ignore this if you must, but for those who haven't and are interested, this is where I'm going to tel it. Hopefully this takes a lot of pressure off of me, as writing typically does.
The story starts in October of 2021, me and my girlfriend got together and the first months were blissful, the honeymoon phase. We lost our virginity to each other. We both went to high school together and spent so much time together. I adjusted classes to be in the same classes as her. I made her baths and massages (this was a constant thing I did periodically through our relationship). I didn't slow dance at prom so I played some music at my house and we slow danced in pajamas, it was sweet. There's many sweet moments like that that I don't want to recall as I'm already about to cry somewhat haha.
I don't wanna drone on because the point of this is most of the relationship was great until November of 2022
In November 2022, me and my girlfriend were arguing a lot throughout the month and into December. I helped her with her Christmas tree and it felt like things were getting better. We still argued but I felt like we were working through it. I was even supposed to go with her and her family to Dollywood.
She then tells me what nobody in a relationship ever wants to hear, "I wanna take a break". I respected her wishes and gave her some space, and I imagine this is the time frame where she's flirting with the other guy. She gets back to me after a week over the phone, and breaks up with me. Yep, I got broken up with over the phone, it sucks. Guys/gals, if you're gonna break up with your SO, don't be a pussy, and do it in person (assuming they aren't dangerous or abusive).
After the breakup, I was a mess, I can't even remember most of December, and January, it is all a blur. There were a few failed attempts though, and a lot of planning for attempts. Even got really close to buying SN but got scared and didn't. She asked me for no-contact and I listened.
About 3 weeks after our break up, she wanted to come by and collect her things. I thought "Sweet, maybe this is a chance to try and reconcile!" Boy, I was stupid. She came by and grabbed some things and asked me to ride with her in her car. I still have no clue why she did this, it makes no sense, maybe she planned what happened next but I doubt it. In a parking lot, I see a call pop up on her phone, and her new car shows who's calling on the radio, it showed "My Baby (insert friends name)" and I heard his voice. My world shattered. She got off the phone, and I questioned her. She told me they've been talking and I just told her "take me home", I got increasingly louder and it was all I could say since I was trying to avoid breaking down in her car.
We got to my place and I ran in, I threw things around as I was going in (I promise I'm not abusive, I was broken). I walked into my bathroom and collapsed on the floor, sobbing and close to vomiting. I hear my front door open and I think "shit, I forgot to lock it" and she came in and saw me. She tried to console me and I asked her to leave. It was probably good that she was there, I had a loaded shotgun in my room. Anyways, to spare some details, she eventually left, I tried to calm down and then I just wallowed in sorrow for most of January.
We tried to remain friends and talked a bit over the phone and messages. It was my attempt and her attempt to stay friends. She told me that I should try to be careful of messaging because she doesn't want him to find out. I was even her shoulder to cry on when he was a dick to her (stupid, I know, I realize that now)
Late February/Early March rolls around, and I get a call from her. We've barely messaged up to this point. We've called a few times before this just to stay in touch. She tells me that she has something to tell me. I basically said "Let me guess, you cheated on me" and she broke down crying telling me it was only a few days of messaging. I told her it was still cheating, it's still fucked up and I already had an idea that was going on. She apologized and I accepted her apology and asked if it went further than just messages and she said no. She said they messaged and he convinced her to leave me. I told her not to pass the buck and she still left me. She also asked why I had an idea, and I told her their relationship moved too quickly for me not to suspect anything. She asked me not to tell anyone so I didn't tell anyone at all besides my mom. It would do more harm than good and she didn't slander my name to her family besides blaming it on me being clingy, and that was true anyways.
We've stayed in contact still to this day, not nearly as frequently but I still wish her well. I can't think of anything major to add after March, that holds major relevance or changes. I kept our cat, and I love the cat, she's been my rock throughout this, and I plan on taking her with me when I move after college.
All in all, my breakup could've been worse, it could've been better. There were MANY times I broke down throughout all of this. Made me feel like less than a man at times because I was so emotional. My grandpa told me I shouldn't take her back because in his words "Once she cheats, you can't really trust her the same after that" and I think I'm gonna try to take my Papa's advice on that. After this breakup, I got closer with family, friends, learned some piano, and decided to go to college so all in all I'm doing alright for myself after it.
I left out graphic details that could be triggering for some about self harm, and suicide attempts, I will leave those details out but it did happen, I was in a bad mental state in the months following.
Well, that's my story I guess, hopefully the next one lasts longer and does better.
The story starts in October of 2021, me and my girlfriend got together and the first months were blissful, the honeymoon phase. We lost our virginity to each other. We both went to high school together and spent so much time together. I adjusted classes to be in the same classes as her. I made her baths and massages (this was a constant thing I did periodically through our relationship). I didn't slow dance at prom so I played some music at my house and we slow danced in pajamas, it was sweet. There's many sweet moments like that that I don't want to recall as I'm already about to cry somewhat haha.
I don't wanna drone on because the point of this is most of the relationship was great until November of 2022
In November 2022, me and my girlfriend were arguing a lot throughout the month and into December. I helped her with her Christmas tree and it felt like things were getting better. We still argued but I felt like we were working through it. I was even supposed to go with her and her family to Dollywood.
She then tells me what nobody in a relationship ever wants to hear, "I wanna take a break". I respected her wishes and gave her some space, and I imagine this is the time frame where she's flirting with the other guy. She gets back to me after a week over the phone, and breaks up with me. Yep, I got broken up with over the phone, it sucks. Guys/gals, if you're gonna break up with your SO, don't be a pussy, and do it in person (assuming they aren't dangerous or abusive).
After the breakup, I was a mess, I can't even remember most of December, and January, it is all a blur. There were a few failed attempts though, and a lot of planning for attempts. Even got really close to buying SN but got scared and didn't. She asked me for no-contact and I listened.
About 3 weeks after our break up, she wanted to come by and collect her things. I thought "Sweet, maybe this is a chance to try and reconcile!" Boy, I was stupid. She came by and grabbed some things and asked me to ride with her in her car. I still have no clue why she did this, it makes no sense, maybe she planned what happened next but I doubt it. In a parking lot, I see a call pop up on her phone, and her new car shows who's calling on the radio, it showed "My Baby (insert friends name)" and I heard his voice. My world shattered. She got off the phone, and I questioned her. She told me they've been talking and I just told her "take me home", I got increasingly louder and it was all I could say since I was trying to avoid breaking down in her car.
We got to my place and I ran in, I threw things around as I was going in (I promise I'm not abusive, I was broken). I walked into my bathroom and collapsed on the floor, sobbing and close to vomiting. I hear my front door open and I think "shit, I forgot to lock it" and she came in and saw me. She tried to console me and I asked her to leave. It was probably good that she was there, I had a loaded shotgun in my room. Anyways, to spare some details, she eventually left, I tried to calm down and then I just wallowed in sorrow for most of January.
We tried to remain friends and talked a bit over the phone and messages. It was my attempt and her attempt to stay friends. She told me that I should try to be careful of messaging because she doesn't want him to find out. I was even her shoulder to cry on when he was a dick to her (stupid, I know, I realize that now)
Late February/Early March rolls around, and I get a call from her. We've barely messaged up to this point. We've called a few times before this just to stay in touch. She tells me that she has something to tell me. I basically said "Let me guess, you cheated on me" and she broke down crying telling me it was only a few days of messaging. I told her it was still cheating, it's still fucked up and I already had an idea that was going on. She apologized and I accepted her apology and asked if it went further than just messages and she said no. She said they messaged and he convinced her to leave me. I told her not to pass the buck and she still left me. She also asked why I had an idea, and I told her their relationship moved too quickly for me not to suspect anything. She asked me not to tell anyone so I didn't tell anyone at all besides my mom. It would do more harm than good and she didn't slander my name to her family besides blaming it on me being clingy, and that was true anyways.
We've stayed in contact still to this day, not nearly as frequently but I still wish her well. I can't think of anything major to add after March, that holds major relevance or changes. I kept our cat, and I love the cat, she's been my rock throughout this, and I plan on taking her with me when I move after college.
All in all, my breakup could've been worse, it could've been better. There were MANY times I broke down throughout all of this. Made me feel like less than a man at times because I was so emotional. My grandpa told me I shouldn't take her back because in his words "Once she cheats, you can't really trust her the same after that" and I think I'm gonna try to take my Papa's advice on that. After this breakup, I got closer with family, friends, learned some piano, and decided to go to college so all in all I'm doing alright for myself after it.
I left out graphic details that could be triggering for some about self harm, and suicide attempts, I will leave those details out but it did happen, I was in a bad mental state in the months following.
Well, that's my story I guess, hopefully the next one lasts longer and does better.
