Why are you going to commit suicide?

[happysunnydayy]

I have multiple reasons. For one, I'm all alone. And that's literal. Lost all my family over the last 5 years - mother, sister, multiple cousins - with my mother being the last to pass. Had a very small family and I'm the last one remaining. Second reason is I have no friends. So, when I say I'm alone, again, that is literal. I'm not married, haven't any gfs, and I have no children. Not the best place to be in life and I want no part of it.

Third reason is not looking forward to aging and want no part of that, either, especially when I'm all alone. That's not a good place to be with no support whatsoever. I don't want to have to deal with the miserable diseases, and the like, that come with aging. I'm 59 now, and the horror movie ending for me is ending up in a nursing facility somewhere, with no family or friend support, needing to have my ass wiped by someone, and the dribble removed from my chin after having been spoon fed by some aide. No. Not what I want. Hopefully, I get the hell out of here before something bad, like a heart attack, or stroke, turns my worst fears into a reality.

A forth reason is that at 59, I can no longer, realistically, pursue that which would bring me happiness. Take out of that what you will, but that ship has sailed quite some time ago and I just missed the boat.

At your current age are you physically healthy?

 

[neverwashereatall]

born premature. extremely low birth rate. don't feel i even have a soul. i'm not like anyone else, and not in a remotely positive or appealing way.
i am a stranger to myself and this entire system

 

[daysnumbered]

My mind is fucked, and I am maladjusted to this world.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

At your current age are you physically healthy?

Basically, I am. Yeah. But, you know, anything can happen anytime. My sister, who passed about 4 years ago was only 62 when she passed. My first cousin died about 5 years ago and was 63. My other first cousin died just about 6 years ago and was the same age I am now at 59. My dad died when he was 69. All of them went through real hell with illnesses before their deaths. But, the thing about it is that they all had support to help them. I have no one. It would be an entirely different scenario with me being all alone and I just don't want to risk it, and especially don't want to go through anything serious. Honestly, I have nothing worth living for. As far as I'm concerned, with each passing day, things only get worse from here. Existing is not living.

 

[happysunnydayy]

I have multiple reasons. For one, I'm all alone. And that's literal. Lost all my family over the last 5 years - mother, sister, multiple cousins - with my mother being the last to pass. Had a very small family and I'm the last one remaining. Second reason is I have no friends. So, when I say I'm alone, again, that is literal. I'm not married, haven't any gfs, and I have no children. Not the best place to be in life and I want no part of it.

Third reason is not looking forward to aging and want no part of that, either, especially when I'm all alone. That's not a good place to be with no support whatsoever. I don't want to have to deal with the miserable diseases, and the like, that come with aging. I'm 59 now, and the horror movie ending for me is ending up in a nursing facility somewhere, with no family or friend support, needing to have my ass wiped by someone, and the dribble removed from my chin after having been spoon fed by some aide. No. Not what I want. Hopefully, I get the hell out of here before something bad, like a heart attack, or stroke, turns my worst fears into a reality.

A forth reason is that at 59, I can no longer, realistically, pursue that which would bring me happiness. Take out of that what you will, but that ship has sailed quite some time ago and I just missed the boat.

Basically, I am. Yeah. But, you know, anything can happen anytime. My sister, who passed about 4 years ago was only 62 when she passed. My first cousin died about 5 years ago and was 63. My other first cousin died just about 6 years ago and was the same age I am now at 59. My dad died when he was 69. All of them went through real hell with illnesses before their deaths. But, the thing about it is that they all had support to help them. I have no one. It would be an entirely different scenario with me being all alone and I just don't want to risk it, and especially don't want to go through anything serious. Honestly, I have nothing worth living for. As far as I'm concerned, with each passing day, things only get worse from here. Existing is not living.

You've made it this far ahead than most of us here. How??

however dying in 60s from natural causes seems a bit early.. I've seen people drag it all the way to 70s 80s.

 

[gojidoge]

There is nothing to live for anymore and I don't see a future. It is hopeless, I am hopeless, and helpless. I am a failure. I am grateful for the life I've had so far but I am ready to go.

 

[rainwillneverstop]

Shame and a messed up head.

 

[random_user]

I think the easiest way to describe for me is that life feels like a job I hate that I have to attend daily for me and has even gradually become worse over time. Been that way for years and I definitely am not willing to do it for 50+ more years.

 

[CloudChaser]

Loneliness, that's the most brutal part.

 

[polm]

Full body pain, wasting, insomnia, disabled and losing function daily. No treatments available.

 

[The Unanswered Q]

Have brain damage and will never accomplish anything because of that.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

My past is a waste of time already fading away, my future is pointless, my present is meaningless pain. Physically my health is good but it doesn't matter when there's no purpose, I might as well be a healthy potato. It's not just mental/emotional agony, it's the fact that I don't belong anywhere. Solution: erase. I'm exhausted.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

Mental illness is eating away at me, bit by bit, stealing everything I used to care about. Therapy and medication don't seem to reach anything, and frankly, I don't even know what they're aiming for. The thought claws its way in: it would be better if I were dead. Every day, the question isn't whether I'll get better, but how much worse the next episode will be. It's not about a feeling of alrightness, but the crushing weight of what's to come, and I just don't want to keep battling it.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

You've made it this far ahead than most of us here. How??

however dying in 60s from natural causes seems a bit early.. I've seen people drag it all the way to 70s 80s.

I had responsibilities caring for my father, sister, and then mother in that order. I'm not intending to "drag" any kind of "existing" into my 70s or 80s. Frankly, I don't want, or need, or accept, any prolife, antichoice mantra preached to me by anyone, even subtly. I believe in absolute autonomy over one's own body and the inherent right of self determination as to what's best for me, and those beliefs are unwavering. So, save the preaching.

 

[Doll Steak]

it's a vague answer but behind all of whatever is wrong with me, I just don't care for life anymore. There's no point in it so why should I be obligated to live? I've never planned for the future, so whatever happens is gonna happen. I could waste my time and effort on an entire life plan but why? One day I'll just kill myself.

 

[stink144]

My only friend left me, I'm open if anyone wants to talk

 

[Dyingoportunity]

Parientified at an early age
SA and bullying in my teens
Crippling anxiety and depression
Taught very few adult life skills / social skills
Potentially unemployable
Little to no future

 

[Mingdynasty_19]

I'm tired of living... And life hurts a lot.

Hey, off topic, but I like your mainländer pfp, I really like his philosophy.

 

[alleine]

Depression, I have nothing live for and a massive loneliness, nobody loves me...

 

[GoForDeath]

I fucked up my brain by not wanting to feel shit, made a horrible mistake, now I'm paying for it

 

[tpboy]

It varies between provinces and you get extra if you have a kid and shit. As a single adult in BC, I get about $15,000/year.