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Seldom

Seldom

Member
Aug 11, 2020
8
I am over being a failure, in every aspect of life. Relationships, the GF I have now, I have no clue where we stand together, she gives me zero reciprocation, we have sex maybe once a week, I feel like I am just a nag, she doesn't ever "talk to me" I wear my heart on my sleeve and I feel like she is simply going to break up with me. I was in a long distance relationship with a classmate of mine from high school in North Carolina. She is amazing, beautiful but, in NC. I am in Colorado. I should've never split up with her, should've just "made it work" I miss her terribly, I have fucked up and all I can think of ending it all, CTB. Carbon Monoxide, and sleeping pills, I can do it in my car. It's a brilliant idea. I'll simply fall asleep, then the CO will take over, I should be dead in a just a matter of a few hours I think. I am just waiting for the "straw that broke the camels back" Maybe it'll happen this week, on my day off. This way, work won't be interrupted. It's really a perfect design.
 
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lotus11

lotus11

Specialist
May 18, 2019
344
try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail,try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail...
 
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sideswipe84

sideswipe84

Member
Aug 30, 2020
44
I yearn to be done with life, because no matter how hard I try I fuck things up. I feel that theirs nothing I can do to make up for any of the damage I've caused the people I care about. I'm sick of feeling embarrassed, stressed out and angry.
 
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Ren Elsie Jewelria

Ren Elsie Jewelria

I sneezed!
Aug 30, 2020
366
My life is such a mess and causes havoc. If I can't leave this world in a spaceship then its' suicide.
 
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Velia

Velia

Member
Mar 1, 2019
14
I dont belong in this world, my life is meaningless and nothing brings any joy. Can't wait for an end to all this suffering because no matter what I try to get out of it I always end up back to the bottomless pit of depression and anxiety.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Mental health issues, short term memory issues, inability to articulate myself verbally sometimes and can't always process what people are saying to me sometimes (I think I might have a learning disability because of all this, but if I do, it's basically over for me)
 
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Uselessatbest

Uselessatbest

Student
Oct 9, 2019
147
Cause I'm a foolish person who can't do shit right. Just a dissapintment
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,399
Mental health issues, short term memory issues, inability to articulate myself verbally sometimes and can't always process what people are saying to me sometimes (I think I might have a learning disability because of all this, but if I do, it's basically over for me)
I can relate to this, it feels like I wrote this. I literally forget what people tell me the second they tell it because I have trouble processing new information.
 
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HowSoonIsNow

HowSoonIsNow

" Oh, She was a victim of sweet suicide"
Feb 2, 2020
162
BPD ruined everything
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I can relate to this, it feels like I wrote this. I literally forget what people tell me the second they tell it because I have trouble processing new information.
It's really frustrating and when I tell my mom it's a reason I want to die, she tells me that's not a valid reason to want to die and my nurse tells me the same thing :(
 
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Rue89

Rue89

Visionary
Feb 10, 2020
2,726
Anxiety has ruined my life; actually I don't really have a life because of it. I'm done living like this.
 
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SipSop

SipSop

Arcanist
May 7, 2020
483
More you read more you realise other people have it better.
I go outside I see people who ave it better.
I look inside and I feel fear that was implanted in me when I was younger by my fatjer trying to grab me. I am done fighting it. Other people do not have this burden, why I should shoulder it?
I feel odd.
I wish I had a different environment in wich I could grow.
I wish I didn't had to suffer in roder to ubderstand the depth of this world. I widh somebody encouraged me and guided me.
I know I do not ask for too much.
But here we are.
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,399
It's really frustrating and when I tell my mom it's a reason I want to die, she tells me that's not a valid reason to want to die and my nurse tells me the same thing :(

I understand your reasons quite well. When did this all start? Or was it like that your whole life?
 
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dysfunctional

dysfunctional

Arcanist
Oct 26, 2018
459
Chronic major depression. I need expensive Kmine treatments every 4 months but I'm full of tremendous paranoid thoughts everyday. I don't know anymore why I'm staying

Does the ketamine help?
 
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2nd Zed

2nd Zed

Member
Feb 2, 2020
32
* Bad genes
* Don't want to experience the horrors of aging
* Don't want to experience the upcoming societal collapse
More you read more you realise other people have it better.
I go outside I see people who ave it better.
I look inside and I feel fear that was implanted in me when I was younger by my fatjer trying to grab me. I am done fighting it. Other people do not have this burden, why I should shoulder it?
I feel odd.
I wish I had a different environment in wich I could grow.
I wish I didn't had to suffer in roder to ubderstand the depth of this world. I widh somebody encouraged me and guided me.
I know I do not ask for too much.
But here we are.
I have always felt this kind of envy. Why them, but not us? But then I realized that no matter how much you have, you'll always want more. There'll always be someone who has better than you
 
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dysfunctional

dysfunctional

Arcanist
Oct 26, 2018
459
Bipolar 1 disorder. I fucked up my life severely during my a manic episode during last fall/winter. Now I'm in a serious depressed episode where I can barely clean my room or take a shower. Its a terrible contrast because I used to be highly motivated, climbing mountains etc.

If I'm going to be either depressed or on a manic rampage, I don't want to participate anymore.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I understand your reasons quite well. When did this all start? Or was it like that your whole life?
I believe it started in 2019 when I got put on Abilify Maintenna (not on it now). But who knows. I could've had this all my life and not recognized it til now. I remember I had to call the pharmacy one day and tell them what I needed (to transfer a new prescription) and I couldn't get the words out of my head. I had to write it down word for word.
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,399
I believe it started in 2019 when I got put on Abilify Maintenna (not on it now). But who knows. I could've had this all my life and not recognized it til now. I remember I had to call the pharmacy one day and tell them what I needed (to transfer a new prescription) and I couldn't get the words out of my head. I had to write it down word for word.

I've had situations like that, when I couldn't remember simple things. It still happens quite a lot. I think I've always had trouble with focus, but I became hyper aware of that in the past year or so.

SSRI's, benzos and alcohol did not help the situation at all.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I've had situations like that, when I couldn't remember simple things. It still happens quite a lot. I think I've always had trouble with focus, but I became hyper aware of that in the past year or so.

SSRI's, benzos and alcohol did not help the situation at all.
Maybe I've become hyper aware on my problems. It sucks not being able to remember things. I forget whole conversations sometimes and it's frustrating.
 
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Sinai Silence

Sinai Silence

I think I'ma die alone inside my room
Jul 6, 2020
810
Because life is just the big suck
 
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ocd is bad

ocd is bad

-
Jun 26, 2020
206
I don't have any friends and I past my limit a while ago
 
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F

Fedrea

Specialist
May 14, 2020
326
I don't have any friends and I past my limit a while ago
I hate to be that person, but the friends thing is always reversible. Doesn't matter how old you are, you can always make new friends.
 
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ocd is bad

ocd is bad

-
Jun 26, 2020
206
I hate to be that person, but the friends thing is always reversible. Doesn't matter how old you are, you can always make new friends.
It's ok. It's not reversible for me though. I've always had a hard time in social situations and even if I had friends I couldn't hang out with them during the quarantine. Plus mental illness and everything.

I hope your heath/trauma difficulties become easier to deal with.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I resent some prior experiences that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life.
I don't like the way reality is the way it is, and cannot be changed.
I can't accept suffering.
Same problem I got.
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
The simultaneous diagnosed of a progressive neurological disorder
This. I was diagnosed with RRMS four years ago. A doc said to me, "you'll be in a wheelchair in 20 years." Life stinks now. I'm supposed to accept that it gets even worse?!? :shy:
Life has given up on me. The Covid Fairy came and took away my dream job, my social network, my friends, my hobbies, my dreams and goals. It's all gone. And so is my mind, consequently.
 
Last edited:
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ladolcemorte

ladolcemorte

Experienced
May 5, 2019
286
Because my life is clearly done with me!
 
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Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

JFMSUF
Aug 21, 2019
1,938
I actually almost made something of myself. Wow, that would've been crazy!
 
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AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
917
I am unhappy and I realize that I will never have an opportunity to be. So I hate life and no longer enjoy living it.
 
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