Why are ugly people expected to just accept it and move on? Why live like this when I can destroy this disgusting body that I was forced to exist in

[killawithme]

How you look matters a lot, I'd be stuck with this crappy body for many many decades if I didn't intend to ctb. I didn't get a say in how I looked, just like I didn't a choice when it came to my family, my class, my height, my IQ, or my lack of neurotypicality. I want to be one of the high IQ, tall attractive guys with all the cash and the successful career. I want the mass admiration of my looks from women, I want all the benefits of pretty privilege. Life is so amazing when you're handsome and wealthy.

I know it sounds vain, but why should I be content with settling for this trash life as an ugly male? When I know that there's so much better out there. I'm told that I should be grateful because there's people that don't even have clean water, food, internet, housing. But this argument never works, it does nothing for me. Your chance of being born was incredibly low, you had to beat millions of other potential people for the chance of being born. As far as we know, we only get once chance at life. This is the shit life I got, ugly, short, autistic, low IQ, wholly physically undesirable. And I'm told to accept that and make the most of it.

What do I gain out of making the most of it? I will forever watch as other men get to live the life that I have always wanted. I envision my perfect dream life sometimes, it is so much nicer than the life I have now, I can't even begin to describe it. It is absolutely beautiful and words cannot describe how utterly breathtaking it is. Sometime I get lost in day dreams about it.

I can't even play games that envision my ideal life too much because it brings me great sorrow, stardew valley for example. Incredibly fun and addicting, but painful to play. The music, the atmosphere, the settings, the npcs… it stings.

Hey, in some way you've got a point, and it might be better if you were more handsome, but on the other side, handsome people don't get peace at all; they are constantly surrounded by people. The ugly guy wants that, but the handsome man wants peace, just like how the poor want to be rich and the rich want peace to blend in in the crowd.

 

[sanrioslayer]

See, for some that might be sound advice, but

seriously, why the fuck is everyone just glossing over that line which is very near the start of the OP lol

Its sound advice for him too because hes never in a million years gonna be that guy. And thats okay. But its hurting him and he should try to live for other things than just his appearance

 

[Siamese Believe]

Its sound advice for him too because hes never in a million years gonna be that guy. And thats okay. But its hurting him and he should try to live for other things than just his appearance

That's the whole point of the post, I can't be that guy. So I'm choosing death. I don't find this life to be ideal. Why would I wanna live knowing that I'm this ugly. I can't just set aside my appearance, this is how I have to look for the rest of my life.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

I'm so tired boss.

I wish this forum was normal because that'd be a hilarious statement if you're actually cracking a joke, but I've unironically seen such a take so I unfortunately can't tell if you're serious.

BUT I'M NORMAL.
#NOTALLNORMALS.

I ate with this one for sure.

 

[Forg]

Just date people in your own league

My league is so low that I'm the only one there, lol.

 

[Dejected 55]

Just date people in your own league

Sounds simple... but what does it really mean? You see couples all the time who look different from each other or one comes from wealth and the other does not or one is older and the other is younger... lots of people in seemingly good relationships that you might not have matched if you were the matchmaker.

When you assume "that person isn't in my league" you might be depriving yourself of an opportunity and you're certainly depriving them of the opportunity to accept or reject you. Women don't generally approach men, it's just super rare... so when you're a man you have to make a call all the time whether or not you are "good enough" to even ask a woman... and it is SUPER easy to convince yourself that you aren't worth it and just pass and not talk to her... but you never know if you passed up the woman who would have liked you just fine as you are. Many many years ago I made myself the promise that IF I ever like someone I will tell her and allow her to accept or reject me... I wasn't going to ignore my feelings and not try and never know. At least a rejection lets me know, whereas the never trying can eat at your soul wondering if you missed someone.

There are people who will laugh in your face for you daring think you are in their league... but that says more about them than it does you. Nobody owes anyone anything really... and if you like me I don't have to like you. But you never know who you are going to fall for until it happens and you never know who will let you in if you don't try.

The "in your league" thing is just a fear-based thing we tell ourselves to justify never trying and it is a mean-based thing to allow mean people to justify harshly insulting people they think are beneath them. Genuine people should be able to approach anyone and anyone should be able to kindly reject you if they aren't interested for any reason.

Hurts like hell... but it is what it is unless and until you find someone who accepts you. But telling someone to "date in their own league" feels a lot like telling a depressed person to "feel better" or a traumatized person to "get over it life isn't fair."

 

[sanrioslayer]

Holy yapsesh, but yea i meant more that he should try to date girls that arent gorgeous. I dont know if he does but i see a lot of men only going for stunning women then get pissed when those women dont want them and just assume no women ever will just because of that. I meant he should try if he already didnt - try to date "ugly" girls. And i see a shit ton of girls actually going for these "ugly" men, but rarely the other way around. So he should have a chance if he has a good heart

Sounds simple... but what does it really mean? You see couples all the time who look different from each other or one comes from wealth and the other does not or one is older and the other is younger... lots of people in seemingly good relationships that you might not have matched if you were the matchmaker.

When you assume "that person isn't in my league" you might be depriving yourself of an opportunity and you're certainly depriving them of the opportunity to accept or reject you. Women don't generally approach men, it's just super rare... so when you're a man you have to make a call all the time whether or not you are "good enough" to even ask a woman... and it is SUPER easy to convince yourself that you aren't worth it and just pass and not talk to her... but you never know if you passed up the woman who would have liked you just fine as you are. Many many years ago I made myself the promise that IF I ever like someone I will tell her and allow her to accept or reject me... I wasn't going to ignore my feelings and not try and never know. At least a rejection lets me know, whereas the never trying can eat at your soul wondering if you missed someone.

There are people who will laugh in your face for you daring think you are in their league... but that says more about them than it does you. Nobody owes anyone anything really... and if you like me I don't have to like you. But you never know who you are going to fall for until it happens and you never know who will let you in if you don't try.

The "in your league" thing is just a fear-based thing we tell ourselves to justify never trying and it is a mean-based thing to allow mean people to justify harshly insulting people they think are beneath them. Genuine people should be able to approach anyone and anyone should be able to kindly reject you if they aren't interested for any reason.

Hurts like hell... but it is what it is unless and until you find someone who accepts you. But telling someone to "date in their own league" feels a lot like telling a depressed person to "feel better" or a traumatized person to "get over it life isn't fair."

That's the whole point of the post, I can't be that guy. So I'm choosing death. I don't find this life to be ideal. Why would I wanna live knowing that I'm this ugly. I can't just set aside my appearance, this is how I have to look for the rest of my life.

You can groom and look up ways to improve your appearance. And life is more than being good looking - especially for a man. I see ugly dudes with pretty women on a daily basis but rarely an ugly girl with a hot guy. So if your an "ugly" man - you still have a chance if you have a good heart and treat people/girls right. Incels mainly exist because they have shitty personalities too.
Anyway i know how you feel ive been ugly once too, you can always work on your appearance. But you shouldnt let it consume your entire life

 

[sanrioslayer]

I doubt it and you can always improve your appearance either way. And if you do basic grooming youre not "subhuman". A lot of people are just brainwashed by "looksmaxxing" and think they are uglier than they actually are

My league is so low that I'm the only one there, lol.

 

[itsgone2]

How you look matters a lot, I'd be stuck with this crappy body for many many decades if I didn't intend to ctb. I didn't get a say in how I looked, just like I didn't a choice when it came to my family, my class, my height, my IQ, or my lack of neurotypicality. I want to be one of the high IQ, tall attractive guys with all the cash and the successful career. I want the mass admiration of my looks from women, I want all the benefits of pretty privilege. Life is so amazing when you're handsome and wealthy.

I don't know why some are disagreeing with this. I agree with everything you're saying. I do know successful people that aren't traditionally attractive, but I know way way more that were blessed with good looks, height and strength, good hair or skin or whatever, etc. yes it pays to be attractive.

 

[Forg]

I doubt it and you can always improve your appearance either way. And if you do basic grooming youre not "subhuman". A lot of people are just brainwashed by "looksmaxxing" and think they are uglier than they actually are

Thanks for what you said, it helps me feel less depressed.

 

[U. A.]

I don't know why some are disagreeing with this.

I repeat:

I want the mass admiration of my looks from women

 

[sanctionedusage]

Just date people in your own league

the funniest thing about people who hate themselves for being ugly, AND the world for being 'horrible to ugly people,' is that they also hate each other. for being ugly.

i'd want to kms too if i were ugly, but i'm not gonna sit around and pretend it's because i'd be doomed in society. as if beautiful women are EVER taken seriously in any regard.* i'd just want to kms because i'm vain and really enjoy looking at myself in the mirror alone in my room.

*besides as a fetishization.

 

[Daphne]

Aging is the great equalizer. Good looking people lose their attractiveness as they age, no matter how much plastic surgery they get. Those who were never much to look at are already used to being ignored. Society sidelines old people.

 

[sanctionedusage]

Aging is the great equalizer. Good looking people lose their attractiveness as they age, no matter how much plastic surgery they get. Those who were never much to look at are already used to being ignored. Society sidelines old people.

dunno, i've seen a lot of pretty elderly people, especially online, where i'm sure OP spends most of his time looking for an insecurity downer. there's always gonna be that one 70yo that gets a facelift every year and injects salmon sperm into their skin.

 

[itsgone2]

I repeat:

Not sure what point you're making. Not arguing just genuinely not sure

 

[sanctionedusage]

Not sure what point you're making. Not arguing just genuinely not sure

that the extent to which he wants to be attractive is ridiculous and not even about being attractive anymore, probably just closeted narcissism

hiding behind legitimate reasons like wanting to be taken seriously in society, more opportunities, etc. when he actually just wants endless, extreme attention and admiration by women

ignoring ofc that the men that get obsessed over like this are not really 10/10s; they usually fit into a caricature of the most recent trend. emaciated, pale, white, curly or wavy dark hair, tall, subtle muscle definition, heroin-chic-like aesthetic comes to mind. this is just a fetish and a trendy captivation; i doubt most men would even agree this is peak attractiveness for a guy.

so at this point your problem isn't really wanting to be attractive, it's that you want the opposite gender to desperately want to have sex with you.

 

[itsgone2]

that the extent to which he wants to be attractive is ridiculous and not even about being attractive anymore, probably just closeted narcissism

hiding behind legitimate reasons like wanting to be taken seriously in society, more opportunities, etc. when he actually just wants endless, extreme attention and admiration by women

ignoring ofc that the men that get obsessed over like this are not really 10/10s; they usually fit into a caricature of the most recent trend. emaciated, pale, white, curly or wavy dark hair, tall, subtle muscle definition, heroin-chic-like aesthetic comes to mind. this is just a fetish and a trendy captivation; i doubt most men would even agree this is peak attractiveness for a guy.

so at this point your problem isn't really wanting to be attractive, it's that you want the opposite gender to desperately want to have sex with you.

I don't think that was ops point at all. They're frustrated and want to be wanted. Doesn't seem that deep. But whatever, we can disagree. Or op can clarify.

 

[sanctionedusage]

I don't think that was ops point at all. They're frustrated and want to be wanted. Doesn't seem that deep. But whatever, we can disagree. Or op can clarify.

i mean, op's quote is right there. he made it that deep. im explaining the point U.A. was making by emphasizing that statement.

 

[Dejected 55]

that the extent to which he wants to be attractive is ridiculous and not even about being attractive anymore, probably just closeted narcissism

hiding behind legitimate reasons like wanting to be taken seriously in society, more opportunities, etc. when he actually just wants endless, extreme attention and admiration by women

ignoring ofc that the men that get obsessed over like this are not really 10/10s; they usually fit into a caricature of the most recent trend. emaciated, pale, white, curly or wavy dark hair, tall, subtle muscle definition, heroin-chic-like aesthetic comes to mind. this is just a fetish and a trendy captivation; i doubt most men would even agree this is peak attractiveness for a guy.

so at this point your problem isn't really wanting to be attractive, it's that you want the opposite gender to desperately want to have sex with you.

I don't think that was ops point at all. They're frustrated and want to be wanted. Doesn't seem that deep. But whatever, we can disagree. Or op can clarify.

I suspect the part in the OP where he says "I want the mass admiration of my looks from women" is a reasonable point of contention. It's one thing to rail about "pretty privilege" or to bemoan about being ugly and feel like life is out to get you even before you start... but if the OP truly wants the "mass admiration" in the way that sentence reads... I see where the idea of narcissism comes in.

Speaking only for myself... I have literally NEVER wanted "women" to like me... as in, I never wanted to be fighting off women with a stick because I was so golden that they all wanted me. Hell, I really wouldn't be comfortable in a situation where just a handful of nearby women were fighting over me. All *I* ever wanted was one woman to see me and appreciate me as I am.

So, that would be where I part ways with the OP on identifying with his scenario... I get not feeling like you are "good enough" looking in the way our society deems it and I might sometimes wish I had different/better features beyond the ones I can control... but I would never want to be uber-popular.

 

[maylurker]

And if you do basic grooming youre not "subhuman".

grooming aint shit if you are below average

Just date people in your own league

yeah bro lets act like hypergamy isnt a thing

Aging is the great equalizer. Good looking people lose their attractiveness as they age, no matter how much plastic surgery they get. Those who were never much to look at are already used to being ignored. Society sidelines old people.

not really . genetically gifted people with good bonemass age better because bones holding the skin so when they lose collagen they dont age that fast as a boneless person justin bieber is a great example

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Literally everyone is expected to accept "it".
Women are expected to accept violent misogyny from men.
Minorities are expected to accept horrible oppression from government.
Disabled people are expected to accept eugenics from the medical system and basically all able-bodied people.
Yeah humans give preferential treatment to those in line with current beauty standards but this isn't some niche or unique suffering. Lots of "ugly" people are wildly successful in whatever avenue of life; career, "love" (which to you sounds like "getting laid"), whatever else.

I think this is a great time to bring up what "ugly" actually means to a lot of people.

There were literally these things called Ugly Laws (not all that many years ago considering everything) that were meant to prevent disabled people from existing in public. And not just those with facial or limb differences.

Then we can go even farther and discuss how non-white features have been considered "ugly" by colonizers for a long, long time.

Noses with broad bridges, sloped or hooked noses, bigger lips (though it was appropriated by the "beauty industry" and sold to women, it is still often seen as ugly in non-white people, and even white men), the variance in body weight that some races tend to have, etc.

Not to mention the strict beauty standards that affect women and AFABs in particular, and things like shaming women for having "fupa" despite the fact that it exists in AFABs as protection for, yknow, the uterus? The very thing we are reduced to?

Even more recently law-wise, people like Ron DeSantis have tried to bring back "ugly laws" but targetting those that are gender nonconforming in some way.

Multiple "drag bans" did not properly define drag and would have included trans and intersex people just living life in the law had it passed as it was written.

The idea of "ugly" or "unsightly" people has always been rooted in discrimination, as it always will be.

 

[sanrioslayer]

yeah bro lets act like hypergamy isnt a thing

Be so fr its common knowledge that men care more about looks than women do.

 

[maylurker]

Be so fr its common knowledge that men care more about looks than women do.

son

Be so fr its common knowledge that men care more about looks than women do.

 

[sanrioslayer]

the funniest thing about people who hate themselves for being ugly, AND the world for being 'horrible to ugly people,' is that they also hate each other. for being ugly.

i'd want to kms too if i were ugly, but i'm not gonna sit around and pretend it's because i'd be doomed in society. as if beautiful women are EVER taken seriously in any regard.* i'd just want to kms because i'm vain and really enjoy looking at myself in the mirror alone in my room.

*besides as a fetishization.

Lowkey girl u fucking clocked it

son

View attachment 191069

Its literally in our nature and evolution.

Men value looks more because it shows good health and reproducing with those women would have meant a higher chance of his offspring surviving. And since a man can have a huge amount of children at once its better for them to just spread his genes to as many beautiful (healthy) women as possible.

Women value money, intelligence, power etc since women only can have one baby for a very long time and so - reproducing with a man that can protect and provide would have a better chance of letting the baby survive.

Obviously modern days have influenced it to some extent but thats still our natural instinct

 

[maylurker]

Men value looks more because it shows good health and reproducing with those women would have meant a higher chance of his offspring surviving. And since a man can have a huge amount of children at once its better for them to just spread his genes to as many beautiful (healthy) women as possible.
Women value money, intelligence, power etc since women only can have one baby for a very long time and so - reproducing with a man that can protect and provide would have a better chance of letting the baby survive.

mf has it all backwards

 

[sanrioslayer]

mf has it all backwards

Bro is not even trying to hide the rage baiting at this point

 

[maylurker]

Bro is not even trying to hide the rage baiting at this point

bro u cant hide the rage baiting at this point you say "men are more selective than women" and "sperm cost is cheap" in the same sentence omfg do you deadass believe it?

 

[sanrioslayer]

bro u cant hide the rage baiting at this point you say "men are more selective than women" and "sperm cost is cheap" in the same sentence omfg do you deadass believe it?

I meant thats why men are more picky dating wise not casual sex wise. Because sleeping with as many as possible they do ofc but dating they care about health as in looks more. Maybe i worded that weird idk i didnt read it through ngl my bad

 

[maylurker]

men are more picky dating wise not casual sex wise.

thats a crazy ass statement that doesnt hold up irl if it was the case incels wont exist and dating apps wont be a videogame for women and brutal experience for men

 

[TrashStarCrazy]

I meant thats why men are more picky dating wise not casual sex wise. Because sleeping with as many as possible they do ofc but dating they care about health as in looks more. Maybe i worded that weird idk i didnt read it through ngl my bad

Of course evolutionarily, women have to invest 100x more time into having a child (in the womb) than men, so they are more picky with sexually selecting the most genetically fit men available.
Men only have to invest delivering sperm to have a child, which means to maximize their chance of passing on their genes, men will try mate with as many women as they can.

This translates to the modern day where many women are more content staying single & waiting for an ideal man to meet their standards, while many men will take anything they can get.

thats a crazy ass statement that doesnt hold up irl if it was the case incels wont exist and dating apps wont be a videogame for women and brutal experience for men

Agreed. It's known that on dating apps (dating apps are real life), the genetically superior 20% of men receive attention from 80% of women. Dating apps are the quintessential example of a 'hot-or-not' game, as your existence is reduced to 6 photos. Thus majority of women only being attracted to the most elite men shows women care more about looks.


(All in my humble opinion)