Venting Why am I so ungrateful?

[kaixxnai]

I've suffered from the ones who gave me life, true... but things are going better now, I think. I've also been bullied quite a lot,, but I still managed to heal or at least pretend I healed. Everyone at college is nice to me, my mother isn't that strict, I am getting good grades,, but the btter things get the more I wish to die. The more I wish to ctb. I don't know if it's because I got too used to suffering, but I feel like such an ungrateful being... I wish I was never born in the first place. Living hurts man. There's no hope left for me anymore. There's nothing that can improve, so why do I still wish to leave? I kind of wish for those who made me ill to suffer as I did. For them to have false hope that I am better, just for me to die that same year. I don't know why do I think this way, and it's haunting me...

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't think that one should ever have to feel grateful, as after all existence was a burden that was so cruelly forced on us in the first place, why should anyone have to feel grateful for unnecessary suffering that they never asked to endure. I also wish I never existed more than anything.

 

[unnormal9]

I don't think that one should ever have to feel grateful,

I don't. Not just because there is nothing too be for in this life of pain and agony; confusion and doubt, but also because the whole concept is patronizing and gas lighting.