Venting Why am I so scared

[Olisop21.]

I don't understand why I just don't ctb and be done with this horrible self of me.
I have to just so this.

 

[theboy]

Is the SI

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish it's not so difficult to die on our own terms, to me it's really cruel how it's so difficult to die. But anyway I hope that you find peace eventually, best wishes.

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

For me its the fear of failure and always lacking sth required to give me reassurance... Yeah and no executive function and that i don't have any will besides the end ...

 

[Olisop21.]

Just want it to end.

 

[Ambivalent1]

The fear of a life unlived, a fear of the unknown, a fear of never existing again, a fear of a worse fate, a fear of pain, a fear of failure. That about sums it up
@sserafim have you ever had surgery or a procedure that required anesthesia? I have and the transition from wakefulness to sleep is so sudden and calming. I remember I woke up after the procedure with this feeling of determination to ctb because I wasn't afraid. Unfortunately, the feeling didn't last long and I forgot what the anesthesia felt like.

 

[Olisop21.]

The fear of a life unlived, a fear of the unknown, a fear of never existing again, a fear of a worse fate, a fear of pain, a fear of failure. That about sums it up
@sserafim have you ever had surgery or a procedure that required anesthesia? I have and the transition from wakefulness to sleep is so sudden and calming. I remember I woke up after the procedure with this feeling of determination to ctb because I wasn't afraid. Unfortunately, the feeling didn't last long and I forgot what the anesthesia felt like.

Definitely hit the nail on the head. My last overdose I was unconscious for two days and didn't miss those days.

 

[Ash]

have you ever had surgery or a procedure that required anesthesia? I have and the transition from wakefulness to sleep is so sudden and calming. I remember I woke up after the procedure with this feeling of determination to ctb because I wasn't afraid.

And to think you called me negative Nancy for comparing death to falling asleep because they're both dark

 

[Meteora]

I m sorry you re going through this..... I guess it is natural to be scared for we don't know what comes after.

 

[Ambivalent1]

And to think you called me negative Nancy for comparing death to falling asleep because they're both dark

Darkness. No Parents. Continued darkness

 

[Homo erectus]

I think I am an athlete. SI is testing how much suffering I can handle.