Some people just feel this way. At a place like this many people gather and think the same way as you.
If u rly wanna leave, do it. Life is not worth living if it is just for others. If u can find something that is worth to keep going than u should keep going, but it can be rly hard to find something that has so much value for yourself it's worth the suffering.
It sucks to deal with all this suffering, even tho I don't know what it is for u personally it's bad enough to think about ctb.
I hope u either find a way to deal with your suffering or have a ctb with dignity. Whatever u choose I'm 100% sure u'll find the peace u deserve.
If u wanna talk my pm's are always open, even tho I won't stay much longer than a couple of days to talk to u.