Venting I dont know how much longer i can take this

[as i am as am i]

My injury has progressed so much that I can no longer walk without being in excruciating pain. My workers comp insurance rejected my leave because I couldnt get them the forms in time (I had been calling my doctors office for weeks to try and get them to fill out the forms) and so im at risk of being fired now. I called my doctors office and they said that i would need to bring in the forms physically or fax them, and even then they would take 7 business days to get everything over and approved, which is too long at this point. I explained that I am at risk of getting fired but they refused to do anything saying that the time frame is their "policy". Im so tired and done with everything. My husband is the only thing keeping me alive and im not sure if I can even continue on for him anymore. It honestly feels like CTB may be the only option for me, especially in this current socio-economic and Political climate in the USA. Every day is an uphill battle. No progress is being made. Im afraid to get myself institutionalised because my entire life as a kid and teen, whenever id get hospitalized for trying to CTB, my family would shun and shame me, and so I never recieved mental help without ever feeling like im a burden and a failure, because my parents always treated the idea of me needing therapy and mental health help as "weak" and bad. One of the things theyd tell me is that "you took a step forward, and now took 3 steps back" any time id be hospitalized. I dont know what to do. I crave ending it, I just want to be free.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry for your situation. Please don't beat yourself up further though for struggling. You're suffering as it is, without feeling ashamed about it- although I know that's hard to squash if it's been ingrained in us. But, life itself can often be a few steps forward, then three back. Who even follows an upward tragectory the entire time? I hope you get some more support from your doctor/ workplace. They ought to understand it's not easy to do all this stuff when you're unwell.

 

[Ambien addict]

My injury has progressed so much that I can no longer walk without being in excruciating pain. My workers comp insurance rejected my leave because I couldnt get them the forms in time (I had been calling my doctors office for weeks to try and get them to fill out the forms) and so im at risk of being fired now. I called my doctors office and they said that i would need to bring in the forms physically or fax them, and even then they would take 7 business days to get everything over and approved, which is too long at this point. I explained that I am at risk of getting fired but they refused to do anything saying that the time frame is their "policy". Im so tired and done with everything. My husband is the only thing keeping me alive and im not sure if I can even continue on for him anymore. It honestly feels like CTB may be the only option for me, especially in this current socio-economic and Political climate in the USA. Every day is an uphill battle. No progress is being made. Im afraid to get myself institutionalised because my entire life as a kid and teen, whenever id get hospitalized for trying to CTB, my family would shun and shame me, and so I never recieved mental help without ever feeling like im a burden and a failure, because my parents always treated the idea of me needing therapy and mental health help as "weak" and bad. One of the things theyd tell me is that "you took a step forward, and now took 3 steps back" any time id be hospitalized. I dont know what to do. I crave ending it, I just want to be free.

I'm in the same boat....do you have a method?