May 24, 2018
I ask that because I’m ready chronic illness beat me but I can’t face anguishing my mum with my death especially suicide - if she were dead already I’d have zero hesitation, ideally I want to go missing and not Ben found when I go which will give hope to other family members especially my little sis who will be upset but we all die someday I’m just bringing it forward .. or I drop dead naturally but at 45 it’s not happening yet by the looks of it I wish


Apr 6, 2018
I came close twice with my N but backed out both times. I didnt want to tell anyone but man is it hard as fuck to do. Its not just fear holding me back. Its an array of emotions getting in the way. First attempt i almost drank it down but stopped near my mouth. Second time i didnt even bother opening the bottle. I've attempted once a week for the past 3 weeks so far. Third times a charm i suppose (I was suppose to attempt again today or tommorow).
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Same stuff, different day
Apr 27, 2018
Thank u. Now that i am holding some sleeping pills in my hand. Ready to swallow thsm & then ( hopefully) lay down & die peacefully in my sleep.

But Somebody told me. I won"t be able to die by this method.. i will just puke & vomit out the overdose.. so is this true..??
It's very unlikely that you will succeed using sleeping pills, and even if you did it would be a very shitty way to die.


May 29, 2018
I am hoping to go in 2 weeks exactly before my life takes a turn for the worse. Right now I am just trying to mentally prepare myself for this to be the end.
Bouts of depression

Bouts of depression

Apr 28, 2018
getting closer. Things are getting worse. Chronic pain is worse. coping isn't working. I'm jealous of you people with enough to be able to afford N. That would definitely be my preferred way. As is, im planning on CO with charcoal in a tent all duct taped at the gaps. (gaps like zipper close spots)

I have to make it soon unless some light at the end of the tunnel shows up. My hands are a big part of the problem and I am getting to where I wouldn't be able to set things up.

Might end up doing something violent and messy if I lose all grip. (literal grip. with my hands)