Whole Entire Life fell Apart so I need Method Reccomendations.

[piplupgroove12]

I desperately desire to end my life. Recently these past couple of months I have lost everything that made my life feel worthwhile. I've been suspended from my university for two semesters (and do some poor last minute decision making in addition to my suspension, I face expulsion and maybe even potential criminal charges). Most likely as a result of this I will be lucky if I'm even able to attend community college after all this is through. Both of my parents are extremely disappointed in me as a result and now harbor major feelings of resentment due to me being suspended from college. For context, the university I attended was an elite, academically rigorous university, so they felt very proud of me when I managed to get accepted into this university. Getting accepted into this university opened a lot of doors for me and gave me access to very unique opportunities that aren't available at your typical standard state school like UC Boulder or University of Massachusetts Dartmouth (not dissing these schools these are just state schools that are relatively easy to get into in comparison to a T35 University like the one I used to attend, btw Ik there are smart and talented people who have attended these schools, it's just that overall the majority of the students that attend these schools generally don't do anything out of the extraordinary unless they continue their higher education). Additionally, this university's tuition is a bit costly so they also feel like I've wasted their money by getting suspended/kicked out due to my poor decision making.
I originally intended to pursue law school at a T25 law school after graduating from my university but now given my situation this seems relatively unlikely (Ik plenty of people manage to get into law school from community college but it is extremely rare for someone to go from community college to a T25 law school unless they transferred to a more rigorous flagship or major university like Penn State, Rutgers, Florida State, or Cal State Fullerton). I managed to enroll in my local community college as a transfer student this summer semester but I doubt they'll be willing to keep me as a potential student once they see the horrible mess of a transcript I have from my original university and are made aware of my idiotic actions by my previous university. Now my best case scenario in this whole entire situation is that my local community college is willing to keep me as a student for the summer semester (even after receiving all the info from my previous university about what went down and my mess of a transcript). Then I can atleast get an accounting degree (I honestly hate the idea of accounting but I'm going to community college to get a degree to support myself once I leave, not to build up my academic career in a field I'm genuinely interested in like I was at my original university). This will take 2-4 years depending on my situation, which means I will be forced to live with my overbearing, judgemental parents which will have a major negative impact on my mental health. I do not fucking want to live this shitty as life where the best I can hope for is a $55,000/year menial accounting job that I barely stans. I try to approach this situation with a tiny bit of optimism but it genuinely feels like it's not even worth it for me. I originally intended to move OOS once I graduated college but that doesn't even seem possible even in the best case scenario.
So in simplest terms, I have decided to end my life. I sadly don't have a wide span of time to end my life but I do manage to have two days before the end of the year, when I can potentially end it (where I can manage to get away from my family to end it in private). I aim to end it at least before January 7th so I'm still willing to ctb even after or before those two days I'm away from my family but I would prefer to do it away from them so I'm actually successful when I ctb and no one tries to save me). Anyways I would appreciate any ctb method that works very quickly (like under 15-30 minutes or at least before survival instinct kicks in whichever happens first), is under $65, I can acquire the materials easily (through Amazon or other major retailer (irl or online)), and is effective (like on a scale from 1-10, its a solid 8.5). Also if you're here to critique or judge me for being "ungrateful" given my situation I don't give a fuck, I came here for advice or tips to ctb not get lectured so keep your comments to yourself.

 

[poached]

Community college is generally a two year degree, so if you are going to earn a four year degree, accounting, you will be going to a four year college. anyway.

Knocking out four semester's of As at the juco should be easy for you. This will allow you to apply for a chance at another decent school. It won't be Harvard, but the future doesn't have to be as bleak as you paint it.

 

[Nori]

I think the community college approach is one that doesn't have to hinder you. The only issue is living with your family. I think that if you were able to get into the university that you did in the first place, you have more than enough talent and greatness to pick up the pieces of where you are now. Maybe you could do this spring/summer semester at community college and then look to transfer to something out of state as soon as the fall semester. I think you should really keep pursuing the field that you want to. You won't be happy if you hold yourself back. I am rooting for you!

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I'm sorry for your struggles..

Users can't give each other advice about what methods to use, because in most countries that is seen as assisted suicide.

Maybe you can read here

Suicide Resource Compilation

All the links to threads, videos, audio, downloads, and information found here are being made available only for educational purposes, and have been shared by users; we cannot assure the accuracy of the data. This means the way you use this data is fully your responsibility, that you need to...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[IluvSparky]

I got sick my freshman year of college and had to transfer from a BIG 10 school to the school in the city i grew up in. My dad even went to classes there to make sure it was 'up to par'. If i didnt get sick, my whole life (before June 12) wouldn't have happened. I'd be an orthopedic surgeon, not living where i live, so i wouldn't have met my husband, wouldn't be a psychologist, and wouldn't have my kids. I was so happy, but it took a shitty thing to get there. You don't know what's going to happen - all you are doing is worrying about things that havent happened, and don't have to happen. First, what do you call the person who graduates last from the worst dental school in the country? A Dentist. Second, you can appeal suspensions, get a psychological evaluation to see if there were extenuating circumstances and appeal their decision. Will also help in court if there are legal consequences. Since you got into a university like that and have helicopter parents, i assume this may be your first offense. You didn't kill anyone, did you? If not, then you'll likely get probation, maybe community service, and can have it expunged, if you get a good lawyer. Maybe this happened to show you the legal system and you can see if you actually want to do this... I'm still sick, and that sucks, but i know i got sick at 19yo and had a life upheaval to bring me to where i was before June 12 when my husband died and I hate this life forced upon me. You have choices to make, i can't bring back the one thing I want. So take it from someone who also had to transfer schools mid freshman year - I got a C in psychology too! Haha - you don't know what's going to happen and don't worry twice. If you worry about this now, and it doesn't happen, you've wasted energy. If you worry about this now and it does - you've worried twice. Anxiety is like a rocking chair - gives you something to do but gets you no where. You have choices. You're smart. CTB if you want... Or you can make choices to get back on track and learn from this instead of becoming beaten down by it.