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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
6,935
I think I take a break from this forum this evening. Maybe. I will for sure watch the game Real Madrid against Bayern Munich. I am so fucking hyped. For me it is the highlight of the season.
I am Bayern Munich fan. Though, I think Real will throw us out. Despite the fact Real Madrid isn't that good this season. The victory against Man City was impressive. I am so glad I bought me a very good VPN suscription. The best investment in cost-benefit ratio last year. I watch it legally by bypassing geoblocking. It might violate the rules of service though.

I would say Real Madrid has the best chances to win the title. But the matches gonna be reallly close. I would guess there will be a 2:2 this evening. With a lot of drama.

I can remember very vividly the match between Real and Bayern 2018. I was acute suicidal and at rock bottom. I watched the match with a schizophrenic drug user with whom I talked about life. I was so fucking agitated. And the staff members were confused how someone in so much pain could care so much about a soccer game. I think this was very irrational. There was so fucking much tension in me. The pain tore me apart. I had extreme psychosomatic pain. Because I was so enthusiastic watching the game they considered the possiblity I was actually a faker. (Secretly drug user inventing a story). Well the therapist invited me to a talk with psychology students afterwards. They were in training and as patients we participated in interviews. Well I was honest with them. That I am on the edge of suicide, that I will probably kill myself and all of this happened because of bullying and child abuse. All of them were stunned and speechless after this talk. The female pschology student was shaking after the interview. And how she looked at me. I think in this interview I just wanted to prove that my story is real and that I am not a faker. I think the therapist regretted that he asked me for this interview. Because I sort of traumatized the students. Lol.

As a frequent reader of my threads you might know my obsession with the quatum physics professor. The actual first unhealthy obsession was with this particular therapist I met in a clinic for people with psychosis. I had the feeling he noticed something about me I was not aware about. Though, listening to him backfired. And if I listened to all of his advices I would probably dead now. He was all about performance and career. In my opinion he made a grave mistake during my second psychosis. I was pretty self-aware about the psychosis and he was pretty surprised how self-aware I was even doubting I had an episode. Actually I wanted from him to keep me save and to stop me from studying until I collapse. I went there and he told me to finish the exams with emergency medication and that I needed this success. Honestly, this was full and complete horseshit. I think the major depression just hit me so hard because they didn't stop me. I needed someone to save me and all they did was pushing further into the abyss. I never told him this theory. I never told him if they stopped me my major depression and extreme psychosomatic pain wouldn't have been so extreme. This is why it hurt so fucking much when they suspected me to be a liar and faker. This is why I was so raw at this interview. Good old fucking times. Cool anecdote for a soccer thread.
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
6,935
The match was really good. It distracted me from my worries for two hours. But I realize more and more that I have addictive sleep medication issues. There were too many emergencies within the last 6 months. I built a tolerance. I am still on the lowest dosage. (zopiclone) I will talk with my psychiatrist.
Yesterday I didn't take it and I barely slept. I am scared to develop a mixed manic-depressive episode with extreme mood swings. I hope I detered my aunt from sueing me. I am not sure how serious she actually was. I shouldn't think too much about it. Actually, I had enough courage to visit my grandpa in the hospital. I think she was pretty disappointed but also happy that I eventually came. I am not a good grandson but I also have a lot of problems myself.

I thought about trying therapy again. But I am also traumatized by the therapeutic abuse that I experienced. It is too early for that. I lost a lot of faith in the system.
 
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Captive_Mind515

Captive_Mind515

King or street sweeper, dance with grim reaper!
Jul 18, 2023
703
I think Bayern will win it. Kane is the most in form striker in the world.

England might even have a chance in the World Cup with him… and it will be very funny if England need a German manager to finally win another World Cup! šŸ˜‚
 
mjolnir

mjolnir

The One Who Falls From the Sky
Nov 15, 2025
201
I think Bayern Munich will be the champion, they're playing the best football at the moment, and Arsenal seems unstable right now.
 

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