Who here cries everyday?

[Seiba]

Honestly, at this point I feel so dead inside I can't get myself to cry anymore no matter how hopeless I feel about things.

Same here, just low energy and apathy. Vacantly existing.

 

[cowplantabduction]

I'm the exact same way- what you said about not relating to other depressed people who feel numb, I've had that exact thought myself many times. I cry every single day- when I think about my future, when I think about my past, when I think about my present reality, even when I just get mildly frustrated about something. I've always been this way- in elementary school I was regularly punished for crying because all the teachers thought I did it "for attention"- even though I was deeply embarrassed by my own inability to stifle my tears and would hide in the bathroom rather than let anyone see my red and puffy face. It wasn't until middle school when I kept crying every single day that teachers finally became concerned (because surely a middle schooler wouldn't cry for attention) and a guidance counselor told me I have depression.

Even still, while I know other people with depression IRL none of them cry as much as me....I've always felt like there's something wrong with me, that other people can stop themselves from crying when they feel upset but I physically can't.

 

[fernstaysquiet]

I used to cry a lot when I thought about dying, leaving behind the world and such, uncertainty. I don't anymore.

Lots of other things make me cry though. Music, anything remotely sad or tragic will make me sob like a baby.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

I don't really cry anymore but at some point about 3-4 years ago I was crying daily.

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

I haven't cried in more than a decade, at least not about things regarding my own life


Im just so numb and used to negative thing that I cant cry anymore

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I wish I could cry. It's been years. Parts of me are already dead.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I hate crying so I rarely engage in it. I find it incredibly repulsive.

 

[prettyclam]

I'm the exact same way- what you said about not relating to other depressed people who feel numb, I've had that exact thought myself many times. I cry every single day- when I think about my future, when I think about my past, when I think about my present reality, even when I just get mildly frustrated about something. I've always been this way- in elementary school I was regularly punished for crying because all the teachers thought I did it "for attention"- even though I was deeply embarrassed by my own inability to stifle my tears and would hide in the bathroom rather than let anyone see my red and puffy face. It wasn't until middle school when I kept crying every single day that teachers finally became concerned (because surely a middle schooler wouldn't cry for attention) and a guidance counselor told me I have depression.

Even still, while I know other people with depression IRL none of them cry as much as me....I've always felt like there's something wrong with me, that other people can stop themselves from crying when they feel upset but I physically can't.

I guess there's just a minority like us whose depression is expressed through crying instead of numbness. Sometimes I wish I could be numb rather than feeling raw sadness daily, but like you said, these tears can't be controlled.

 

[possessed]

im not able to cry when i want to cry

Me too...........haven't cried in like 5 years...........even in my worst moments, I'm not able to express my depression or sadness or anger outwardly. Which is perhaps even more torturing.

 

[auto138491]

Yep. Still here. Still doing it.

 

[Pluto]

 

[schatzbunny]

i feel this so much. i cry once everyday minimum but this year it's been multiple times everyday. there was only one single day i didn't cry and that was when i took enough benzos to knock me out for the whole day. i mainly cry because of one person and now its just been over the fact that i will die and never get what i wanted in this life

 

[Oreki]

I think I've forgotten how to cry

 

[Forever Sleep]

Maybe not every day but, most days I would say. I feel similar to you in that tears are always very near the surface. It takes next to nothing to prompt them out.

My family aren't always the most sympathetic with crying too. There's often a knee jerk reaction to tell me to stop. Which tends to just annoy me now! On the one hand, I think it's unhelpful to repress emotions. On the other- I don't really understand why it would be surprising I do cry. It's obvious I'm unhappy.

I think that's typical of many people though. They might say we should reach out and talk to them but really- I think they prefer it when we keep our problems to ourselves. I doubt many people do in fact want to be around unhappy people.

I'm really bad with certain music/ songs. They are almost guaranteed to set me off. Which has been a problem at work in the past. Now, I work from home so, I can just let the tears roll down.

Crying is weird though- I find. Sometimes it's a release/ relief. Sometimes it won't seem to stop. Sometimes it doesn't seem to provide much relief at all. Just makes my eyes and face feel sore.

 

[threeeyedfawn]

If I don't cry every day it builds up like a calm and I get an outburst of those big ghibli style tears hahhaa