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Manford

Manford

Student
Dec 7, 2020
128
1. It is entirely your fault, you fucked up, you have regret, and self loathing.
2. It is more circumstantial and outside of your ability to mitigate. That could be injury, abuse, taken advantage of, traits you were / weren't born with, how you were raised, etc.

I know it could be some combo of the two but if you had to choose.

I fall into the first.
 
Captive of Mind

Captive of Mind

Memento mori
Aug 11, 2020
409
Although I believe everyone should take ownership and responsibility for how they are, we don't choose how our brain works. Your genes encode for how your brain is built and combined with environmental influence and a bunch of other things, you have little say in how you think. The unfolding of who you are is dependent on so many things that you have no control over.

You can do whatever you will, but you can't will what you will. Even when you change your mind on something, you can't choose whether you want to change your mind or not. To say you could do whatever you want is to say, "You can do anything, so long as it's this specific thing over which you have no control over determining".

I also have a lot of self loathing and regret and I act and think in ways that I wish I didn't. Obviously there are plenty of times where circumstances out of our control take over, but I still make things worse than they should be.
 
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KleinerWolf

KleinerWolf

Account Wipe.
Apr 30, 2020
2,700
Citizenship/immigration problems (major factor),
congenital birth defect and hearing impairment in one ear (inconveniece/minor factor ).

more of 2 aka circumstantial but at first I thought I could recover from it if I "do my time ", but turns out that's still not enough to get back on track in life. Lmfao

I'm now tired of this bs and ready to quit.

tldr: mostly 2, little bit of 1
(If one of them then 2)
 
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Manford

Manford

Student
Dec 7, 2020
128
Although I believe everyone should take ownership and responsibility for how they are, we don't choose how our brain works. Your genes encode for how your brain is built and combined with environmental influence and a bunch of other things, you have little say in how you think. The unfolding of who you are is dependent on so many things that you have no control over.

You can do whatever you will, but you can't will what you will. Even when you change your mind on something, you can't choose whether you want to change your mind or not. To say you could do whatever you want is to say, "You can do anything, so long as it's this specific thing over which you have no control over determining".

I also have a lot of self loathing and regret and I act and think in ways that I wish I didn't. Obviously there are plenty of times where circumstances out of our control take over, but I still make things worse than they should be.
That was a good response. I also think that we are all ultimately the product of causality / determinism so, in a sense, we have little control over where we end up and what we do. That's a philosophical discussion though. I still blame myself.
 
Captive of Mind

Captive of Mind

Memento mori
Aug 11, 2020
409
That was a good response. I also think that we are all ultimately the product of causality / determinism so, in a sense, we have little control over where we end up and what we do. That's a philosophical discussion though. I still blame myself.
Yes, we seem to have identical views. No matter what caused it, I am still the problem that must be taken care of.
 
Trannydiary

Trannydiary

Member
Dec 11, 2020
64
1. It is entirely your fault, you fucked up, you have regret, and self loathing.
2. It is more circumstantial and outside of your ability to mitigate. That could be injury, abuse, taken advantage of, traits you were / weren't born with, how you were raised, etc.

I know it could be some combo of the two but if you had to choose.

I fall into the first.
2 fits best
 
k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,541
I guess 2, but it's really a pretty even split.

Bad things happened outside of anyone's control, but I made equally bad decisions on how to try and fix it. I couldn't help getting sick, but I really, really fucked up. It all created a reality I don't want but can't ever change.
 
SpinTop555

SpinTop555

Member
Nov 16, 2020
70
2 first, messed up childhood, development of personality disorder, depression and anxiety so I can't function properly and helped me make bad decisions, and bad "friends" that messed me up more along the way...

Then 1, because I know what I did was wrong, I didn't do enough sooner, I allowed myself to become what I despise and lost the one person I've ever connected with in this world...
 
darksideofthebright

darksideofthebright

Check in on your happy friend
Nov 10, 2020
251
A bit of both, but probably more of 2.

A history and a series of events with abuse and sexual assaults that were totally out of my control, which have led to terrible trust issues, problems with self-esteem and self-worth and depression.

At the same time, knowing that I have support available, I still decide to not wholeheartedly turn to them, not only because I can't trust them, but also because I refuse to drag my sufferings out unnecessarily longer. I just feel like an engine that's out of fuel and physically and mentally, I can't just keep powering through and pushing on forever.
 
UberYeets

UberYeets

Humans are mercenaries by nature, loyal by will.
Apr 7, 2020
44
A perfect storm of both, whilst Murphy's law was definitely in effect too. Mostly 2 but I fucked up royally whilst drowning in mental health issues and being excruciatingly incompatible with the world at large.
 
profoundexperience

profoundexperience

You can feel the punishment but you cant commit ts
Jun 29, 2020
436
  1. None of us asked to "be here": From the very beginning, none of us gave any consent to this nor made any promises whatsoever. In fact, giving any consent or promises was literally impossible.
  2. So then, we were "forced" into this life and then "expected to conform" to the biological, societal, familial, and even economic "standards and norms" which others decided were "right and true"... well before we even existed.
  3. We never had anything approaching "freedom" here.
  4. What others typically deem as "right and true", to me, usually "stinks to high heaven" of malevolent selfishness and corruption.
You may think all your problems are "your fault" and your fault alone... but this is merely because you were programmed/conditioned to believe that by people for whom it was in THEIR BEST INTERESTS (not yours) that you believe that.

Don't you see, [wo]man?? You're being "conned"... and not just actively... You've been so deeply set-up the conman doesn't even need to do it anymore... Why? Because you're doing it to yourself.


Reject all the conditioning given to you by others. Decide what is "right and true" for yourself....

For me at least, when I do this myself, I see that there is nothing here worth doing... and certainly nothing here worth saving...

"I want. I need. They should. I'll never.".... These are never going to be the basis of anything "good". It's simply impossible that they can be.

If you want to be a masochist and blame yourself, that of course is your right. (And I do it too... just so hard to escape childhood programming.)

But, there is no good reason for all this suffering, whatsoever.
 
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N

neverever

Member
Dec 10, 2020
77
For me, it is 2 leading to 1.

I was abused and manipulated throughout early phases of my life, which contributed to my developing mental health challenges. Despite my awareness of these challenges and my earnest commitment to resolving them, I failed to master key relationships. My core relationship of adulthood failed, shattering all immediate circumstances of my life, and I don't see a way back to myself or out of this mess, so I want to CTB.
 
MrBlue

MrBlue

Arcanist
Jul 1, 2020
416
Honestly probably 1. I'm not necessarily the reason I started this way, but I am the reason I haven't either 'recovered' or simply accepted that I won't be able to live like a normal person and stopped letting it bother me.
 
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