Which category best describes your predicament leading to CTB ?

[Dr Iron Arc]

1. Though there was also a little bit of 2.

 

[0utsider]

2. I tried my best for so long. I went through so much bullshit. In the end, I was left with nothing.

 

[NodusTollens]

1. It is entirely your fault, you fucked up, you have regret, and self loathing.
2. It is more circumstantial and outside of your ability to mitigate. That could be injury, abuse, taken advantage of, traits you were / weren't born with, how you were raised, etc.

I know it could be some combo of the two but if you had to choose.

I fall into the first.

Both.

Life till I was 19 felt beyond my control (2), & once I was given control- I fucked it all up (1).
'>_>

 

[Gnip]

2

 

[profoundexperience]

To quote the late Chester Bennington: "Most of my problems are problems that I cause myself".

I love Bennington's music...

BUT, even given his acknowledgement of all his mental health problems... the man still had 6 (six) kids. All of which, by inheriting his genetics, are subject to his same maladies.

And there's something really reprehensible about him doing that... I admire him for speaking out and "telling his truth"... But I deplore him for not being wise enough to stop it from happening again... and again...

 

[NegativeSymptoms]

2
Treatment resistant depression with severe anhedonia, cognitive impairment + schizophrenia. I have tried tons of drugs and therapy but none of it helps.

 

[Deformationalplagio]

Second

 

[Nexuno]

2 (but I've come to the conclusion that existence it's just a big 2, in the end).

 

[FatalSystemError591]

Some combo of the two but mostly the second. I have fucked up but it was because of the way I was raised as I've been so badly abused for most of my life

 

[Wrennie]

For me it's number 2.

I cannot handle the injustice of having to suffer for a situation forced upon me by others.

 

[LongLostNoHope]

Both 1 and 2. I made so many mistakes losing the person I loved, money, my cats, and possessions. Am all alone with nothing in life that makes me happy. Dealing with many horrible chronic pain, bathroom, and sleep issues as well. I'm hoping SN works and isn't too painful. I'm very worried about keeping it down because I heard the taste is disgusting. Got a few peppermint candy for before and after! Just waiting for the SN to arrive and will start the 48 hour regimen.

 

[Manford]

Both 1 and 2. I made so many mistakes losing the person I loved, money, my cats, and possessions. Am all alone with nothing in life that makes me happy. Dealing with many horrible chronic pain, bathroom, and sleep issues as well. I'm hoping SN works and isn't too painful. I'm very worried about keeping it down because I heard the taste is disgusting. Got a few peppermint candy for before and after! Just waiting for the SN to arrive and will start the 48 hour regimen.

Are you planning to use an ant-emetic like metoclopramide ?

 

[MindFog]

Still 1. Only because I know there's people who had it worse but still prospering in life. I know it's unhealthy, but it's better for me to feel like this IMO. You know, like it's my choice.

 

[LongLostNoHope]

Are you planning to use an ant-emetic like metoclopramide ?

Yea. I just posted my regimen. I'm very worried about gagging up the SN before getting it into me because of the taste. Hopefully the peppermint candy helps before and after

 

[Sprite_Geist]

If there was a third option which stated: "Both of the above" then I would choose that one.

 

[OblivionSeeker]

grew up in an ultra-abusive family/home. Now in my later years, as a retiree, my lifestyle is basically one of abuse, too. by an abusive partner (not physically) I'm reclusive...I gave up any hope of a normal life.

 

[CatabolicSeed]

Combination of the two

 

[BandAddict]

I'd say in reality it's 2. But it feels like 1.

1. None of us asked to "be here": From the very beginning, none of us gave any consent to this nor made any promises whatsoever. In fact, giving any consent or promises was literally impossible.
2. So then, we were "forced" into this life and then "expected to conform" to the biological, societal, familial, and even economic "standards and norms" which others decided were "right and true"... well before we even existed.
3. We never had anything approaching "freedom" here.
4. What others typically deem as "right and true", to me, usually "stinks to high heaven" of malevolent selfishness and corruption.

You may think all your problems are "your fault" and your fault alone... but this is merely because you were programmed/conditioned to believe that by people for whom it was in THEIR BEST INTERESTS (not yours) that you believe that.

Don't you see, [wo]man?? You're being "conned"... and not just actively... You've been so deeply set-up the conman doesn't even need to do it anymore... Why? Because you're doing it to yourself.

Reject all the conditioning given to you by others. Decide what is "right and true" for yourself....

For me at least, when I do this myself, I see that there is nothing here worth doing... and certainly nothing here worth saving...

"I want. I need. They should. I'll never.".... These are never going to be the basis of anything "good". It's simply impossible that they can be.

If you want to be a masochist and blame yourself, that of course is your right. (And I do it too... just so hard to escape childhood programming.)

But, there is no good reason for all this suffering, whatsoever.

Jesus, can I like this twice? Very well said. And you're right, even when you know the truth, it's so hard to actually BELIEVE or FEEL it, if that makes sense.

 

[daddy Phil :)]

1

 

[Wraith]

2.

I never asked to be born disabled and mentally ill. My parents never should have reproduced due to the high risk of me inheriting their illnesses. I refuse to reproduce because of this; I refuse to make the same mistake they did.

 

[Isadeth]

I would say it's number two for me. But I'm sure number one could be parts of it. Even if something wasn't directly my fault, it sure feels like I'm a burden and to blame.