Which category best describes your predicament leading to CTB ?

[Manford]

1. It is entirely your fault, you fucked up, you have regret, and self loathing.
2. It is more circumstantial and outside of your ability to mitigate. That could be injury, abuse, taken advantage of, traits you were / weren't born with, how you were raised, etc.

I know it could be some combo of the two but if you had to choose.

I fall into the first.

 

[Ghost2211]

Literally just life circumstances that people around that are supposed to care could fix/solve, but they won't.

 

[Thanatonaut]

2

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Category 2 fits the most. Although I can't act like I'm innocent, there are things I could have done to help myself before things got this bad. :/

 

[ineverlearn]

Starts with 2, ends with 1.

 

[Captive of Mind]

Although I believe everyone should take ownership and responsibility for how they are, we don't choose how our brain works. Your genes encode for how your brain is built and combined with environmental influence and a bunch of other things, you have little say in how you think. The unfolding of who you are is dependent on so many things that you have no control over.

You can do whatever you will, but you can't will what you will. Even when you change your mind on something, you can't choose whether you want to change your mind or not. To say you could do whatever you want is to say, "You can do anything, so long as it's this specific thing over which you have no control over determining".

I also have a lot of self loathing and regret and I act and think in ways that I wish I didn't. Obviously there are plenty of times where circumstances out of our control take over, but I still make things worse than they should be.

 

[Wakawaka]

2

 

[KleinerWolf]

Citizenship/immigration problems (major factor),
congenital birth defect and hearing impairment in one ear (inconveniece/minor factor ).

more of 2 aka circumstantial but at first I thought I could recover from it if I "do my time ", but turns out that's still not enough to get back on track in life. Lmfao

I'm now tired of this bs and ready to quit.

tldr: mostly 2, little bit of 1
(If one of them then 2)

 

[Kassender]

1

 

[Puffinz]

Mostly 1. But I suspect that the way I was raised made me the kind of person that's too lazy to make a good life for themselves.

 

[Manford]

Although I believe everyone should take ownership and responsibility for how they are, we don't choose how our brain works. Your genes encode for how your brain is built and combined with environmental influence and a bunch of other things, you have little say in how you think. The unfolding of who you are is dependent on so many things that you have no control over.

You can do whatever you will, but you can't will what you will. Even when you change your mind on something, you can't choose whether you want to change your mind or not. To say you could do whatever you want is to say, "You can do anything, so long as it's this specific thing over which you have no control over determining".

I also have a lot of self loathing and regret and I act and think in ways that I wish I didn't. Obviously there are plenty of times where circumstances out of our control take over, but I still make things worse than they should be.

That was a good response. I also think that we are all ultimately the product of causality / determinism so, in a sense, we have little control over where we end up and what we do. That's a philosophical discussion though. I still blame myself.

 

[justanotherstar]

If I had to choose it's all on me, number 1

 

[Captive of Mind]

That was a good response. I also think that we are all ultimately the product of causality / determinism so, in a sense, we have little control over where we end up and what we do. That's a philosophical discussion though. I still blame myself.

Yes, we seem to have identical views. No matter what caused it, I am still the problem that must be taken care of.

 

[foxdie]

Definitely number 1 for me. I am the architect of my own downfall(s).

 

[foreverlikethestars]

two. being born with autism especially.

 

[elfgyoza]

2nd category for me, but there's probably also an element of the first too. I think maybe the 1st is to help cope with the 2nd haha

two. being born with autism especially.

Same here. Although I don't blame the autism, it definitely makes it harder to live a 'normal' fulfilling life

 

[Trannydiary]

1. It is entirely your fault, you fucked up, you have regret, and self loathing.
2. It is more circumstantial and outside of your ability to mitigate. That could be injury, abuse, taken advantage of, traits you were / weren't born with, how you were raised, etc.

I know it could be some combo of the two but if you had to choose.

I fall into the first.

2 fits best

 

[12345]

Mostly 2 then ending with 1

 

[k75]

I guess 2, but it's really a pretty even split.

Bad things happened outside of anyone's control, but I made equally bad decisions on how to try and fix it. I couldn't help getting sick, but I really, really fucked up. It all created a reality I don't want but can't ever change.

 

[SpinTop555]

2 first, messed up childhood, development of personality disorder, depression and anxiety so I can't function properly and helped me make bad decisions, and bad "friends" that messed me up more along the way...

Then 1, because I know what I did was wrong, I didn't do enough sooner, I allowed myself to become what I despise and lost the one person I've ever connected with in this world...

 

[Gromit-CTB]

2 mainly, but also had to add at little 1 just so I had myself to blame more

 

[darksideofthebright]

A bit of both, but probably more of 2.

A history and a series of events with abuse and sexual assaults that were totally out of my control, which have led to terrible trust issues, problems with self-esteem and self-worth and depression.

At the same time, knowing that I have support available, I still decide to not wholeheartedly turn to them, not only because I can't trust them, but also because I refuse to drag my sufferings out unnecessarily longer. I just feel like an engine that's out of fuel and physically and mentally, I can't just keep powering through and pushing on forever.

 

[UberYeets]

A perfect storm of both, whilst Murphy's law was definitely in effect too. Mostly 2 but I fucked up royally whilst drowning in mental health issues and being excruciatingly incompatible with the world at large.

 

[mimiopo22]

1

 

[StuFin]

Started with 1, then 2, in the last 2 years I've definitely fucked up my life with a big dollop of 1.

 

[Tima]

Category 2 fits the most. Although I can't act like I'm innocent, there are things I could have done to help myself before things got this bad. :/

I'm with you on that one- I have to take some responsibility

 

[fixitinpost]

To quote the late Chester Bennington: "Most of my problems are problems that I cause myself".

 

[profoundexperience]

1. None of us asked to "be here": From the very beginning, none of us gave any consent to this nor made any promises whatsoever. In fact, giving any consent or promises was literally impossible.
2. So then, we were "forced" into this life and then "expected to conform" to the biological, societal, familial, and even economic "standards and norms" which others decided were "right and true"... well before we even existed.
3. We never had anything approaching "freedom" here.
4. What others typically deem as "right and true", to me, usually "stinks to high heaven" of malevolent selfishness and corruption.

You may think all your problems are "your fault" and your fault alone... but this is merely because you were programmed/conditioned to believe that by people for whom it was in THEIR BEST INTERESTS (not yours) that you believe that.

Don't you see, [wo]man?? You're being "conned"... and not just actively... You've been so deeply set-up the conman doesn't even need to do it anymore... Why? Because you're doing it to yourself.

Reject all the conditioning given to you by others. Decide what is "right and true" for yourself....

For me at least, when I do this myself, I see that there is nothing here worth doing... and certainly nothing here worth saving...

"I want. I need. They should. I'll never.".... These are never going to be the basis of anything "good". It's simply impossible that they can be.

If you want to be a masochist and blame yourself, that of course is your right. (And I do it too... just so hard to escape childhood programming.)

But, there is no good reason for all this suffering, whatsoever.

 

[neverever]

For me, it is 2 leading to 1.

I was abused and manipulated throughout early phases of my life, which contributed to my developing mental health challenges. Despite my awareness of these challenges and my earnest commitment to resolving them, I failed to master key relationships. My core relationship of adulthood failed, shattering all immediate circumstances of my life, and I don't see a way back to myself or out of this mess, so I want to CTB.

 

[MrBlue]

Honestly probably 1. I'm not necessarily the reason I started this way, but I am the reason I haven't either 'recovered' or simply accepted that I won't be able to live like a normal person and stopped letting it bother me.