Help Where to find resources on making friends? Discords ban me instead of helping

[Adûnâi]

I'm an autistic 27 year old who only ever talked to his mom. I'm Ukrainian. I have absolutely zero clue how normies create their social circle, where they go after school, etc. I've tried searching on Reddit, but it's mostly vague phrases. I've tried asking on the Aspergers Discord, but I got bullied* by 3 people. Tried joining some other Discords, but they're either desolate, or ban me on sight.

*To clarify this portion, 3 people managed to have a conversation with me, even suggesting stupid nonsense such as "complimenting female's nails in a library", but eventually they absolutely went off the deep and started saying "you should stop identifying as an I-word because it scares people" even though I told them I had never even talked to anyone to be identified as anyone...

Oh, and yes, I will admit that a romantic interest is the main driver behind this, and yet, even then I find it difficult to care, as artificial intelligence is going to resolve many of the issues (normies seems to despise AI for whatever g-d-forsaken reason).

 

[silentcicada]

If you're getting banned frequently, perhaps look inward? Why are they banning you? If it's for romance reasons, maybe you're coming on too strong?
I'm in the same boat with struggling to make friends online. Discord is really hit or miss. I think you're more likely to make friends via a group of a hobby you have than a friend making discord group. Mental health servers are usually very toxic as well.

 

[Left]

Random public Discord servers are always trash in my experience.

 

[LonelyStarrySky]

I have struggled with this so much and so many people think they can just ghost me for no reason or if I dare to ask them to talk to me every once in a while they always say they are "busy" with something all the time, I am tired of it and everything. With my struggles I require having friends for my well being in order not to go insane from loneliness that is why I started seeking friends online and on discord. But so many discord servers seem to be full of shallow people who are either not as serious about maintaining friendships as I am or just randomly ghost never to be seen again.

There is no easy way to make friends, it requires a lot of effort and people would ghost and leave at a moments notice. I tried everything all advice nothing really works for me, and I also might as well have some mental disorder that makes it hard to connect with people because I tend to obess with people I am friends with.

But I don't reccomend using AI as a substitute for having friendships if that reality ever happens loneliness is going to sky rocket and destroy so many young people. Its just isolation and badly generated words you see on a screen. Nothing of real human value, no depth just shallowness generated by code.
That future might just end up being the reason I CTB eventually as this life is unbearable to live alone and technological progress is making it all go downhill.

 

[buoy]

If you have any hobbies or interests; could you to lean into those to discover friends who are involved in those circles?

If you like gaming, find games you want to make friends to play with and check Facebook/social media groups. I know there are groups for individual games.

If you want to learn pottery or something like that, again, online research to find those groups can help or going to places/events where people will be participating in this.

I skateboard so I usually meet people at skateparks and instagram channels or #threads in insta. That and local shops/contests/events

Id challenge you to find friends along the way of pursuing some passion or hobby because chasing things to make friends, you can find shallow friends or people won't take you seriously because you're not there for the same reason they are. That or you can find a lot of time wasted because you share no interests with the people you come to meet.

 

[cali88]

Random public Discord servers are always trash in my experience.

True, they have soooo many people when you write in the general chat nobody will answer cause you are an little fish into there eyes on the server

 

[Adûnâi]

But I don't reccomend using AI as a substitute for having friendships if that reality ever happens loneliness is going to sky rocket and destroy so many young people. Its just isolation and badly generated words you see on a screen. Nothing of real human value, no depth just shallowness generated by code.

I have never understood this anti-AI sentiment, seriously. Of course, AI is not there yet, but it's improving by leaps and bounds. And what's even the difference? Humans are algorithmic as all hell. AI will at least be my perfect waifu.

If you're getting banned frequently, perhaps look inward? Why are they banning you?

Thanks for reviving my thread! Albeit with such a comment. Among those few servers I joined on my stint two weeks ago - one refused to vet me because they only accept people under 26 (I'm 27), the other didn't accept me without a word (probably because of the incel keyword I tagged myself with). Silly things like that. Again, I could "mask" to be accepted, but unfortunately, I'm not sufficiently psychopathic. The idea of manipulating people bores me to death.

I skateboard so I usually meet people at skateparks and instagram channels or #threads in insta. That and local shops/contests/events

I doubt it applies to the Ukraine. No idea.

P.S. Since I made this post, I created an account on... Tinder. Got 5 matches, chatted with 2 people. I guess, I got some experience points from that?

 

[buoy]

I doubt it applies to the Ukraine. No idea.

P.S. Since I made this post, I created an account on... Tinder. Got 5 matches, chatted with 2 people. I guess, I got some experience points from that?

Never know until you find out.

Proud of you for reaching out and putting in effort in any way.

 

[tiger b]

Well, you're having a go, fair play to you. Best wishes