
chaosdrifter
pirate without pronouns but anxiety
- Mar 20, 2024
- 65
such a scary question. i really don't want to spend more time imagining.. i hope, i'll manage to die or else idk....
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I think I will still just be working a shit job with the same guy messing with me and my life. It's already been years of the same exact thing and it's really destroying my mental health. Actually the stress and also physically demanding jobs are ruining my body, too.honestly, i see myself either dead or just existing until that moment comes. i don't believe my life will improve. while i've never been suicidal or harmed myself in any way, ever since my girlfriend passed, i feel overwhelmed with despair and guilt. all i want to do is sleep, and the thought of ctb crosses my mind more than i'd like to admit. the only things that keeps me from ctb is my cat, my family, and my brother. they're the reasons i cant, i wish no one cared whether i lived or died. i hope to live alone soon, but part of me just wants to ctb now. i often wish i could turn back time and make different choices to fix my life, but that's not possible.
DEADhonestly, i see myself either dead or just existing until that moment comes. i don't believe my life will improve. while i've never been suicidal or harmed myself in any way, ever since my girlfriend passed, i feel overwhelmed with despair and guilt. all i want to do is sleep, and the thought of ctb crosses my mind more than i'd like to admit. the only things that keeps me from ctb is my cat, my family, and my brother. they're the reasons i cant, i wish no one cared whether i lived or died. i hope to live alone soon, but part of me just wants to ctb now. i often wish i could turn back time and make different choices to fix my life, but that's not possible.