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chaosdrifter

chaosdrifter

pirate without pronouns but anxiety
Mar 20, 2024
65
such a scary question. i really don't want to spend more time imagining.. i hope, i'll manage to die or else idk....
 
Promised Heaven

Promised Heaven

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
706
...I genuinely don't know. I want to be alive, but there's so many things that could go very well or very wrong in a short period of time.
 
S

SA1994EC

Member
Jan 28, 2021
252
I need to be dead, much much much sooner. My physical and mental conditions are free-falling right now.
 
Namelesa

Namelesa

Global Mod · Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,862
Either dead, becoming even mentally worse cus I am still trapped by my family or life is tolerable as I can physically see my best friend again or even live with him, maybe feel somewhat proud as I will have probably finished making one of my games by then.
 
T

ThatStateOfMind

Enlightened
Nov 13, 2021
1,499
Either in my career field for my current degree, in another degree, or dead. Those are the only paths I see for myself currently.
 
SteamaHorns

SteamaHorns

Member
Aug 2, 2024
85
Most definitely dead if things don't change soon. The idea of being around for the next four years honestly terrifies me if it's like this.
 
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I

iji

Member
Dec 4, 2023
95
I just want to be healthy and free from pain... healthy, free from pain. healthy
 
U

username12345

Student
Aug 18, 2024
113
honestly, i see myself either dead or just existing until that moment comes. i don't believe my life will improve. while i've never been suicidal or harmed myself in any way, ever since my girlfriend passed, i feel overwhelmed with despair and guilt. all i want to do is sleep, and the thought of ctb crosses my mind more than i'd like to admit. the only things that keeps me from ctb is my cat, my family, and my brother. they're the reasons i cant, i wish no one cared whether i lived or died. i hope to live alone soon, but part of me just wants to ctb now. i often wish i could turn back time and make different choices to fix my life, but that's not possible.
I think I will still just be working a shit job with the same guy messing with me and my life. It's already been years of the same exact thing and it's really destroying my mental health. Actually the stress and also physically demanding jobs are ruining my body, too.

I'm sorry things are difficult for you but tbh at least you have people that are real parts of your life. Reach out to them more.
 
E

Epilogue

Member
Nov 22, 2024
31
Depends, if my list is done, then dead, if not then alive.
 
B

bananaolympus

Specialist
Dec 12, 2024
323
Hopefully in a path of recovery, i made an attempt before, yes im way worse now then i was before but i wasted 3+ years bedridden i want to give life another chance
 
hereornot

hereornot

Freedom
May 16, 2024
274
Preferably dead, and no one appears saying that I have to be reincarnated.
 
exhumed101

exhumed101

Experienced
Nov 25, 2024
225
honestly, i see myself either dead or just existing until that moment comes. i don't believe my life will improve. while i've never been suicidal or harmed myself in any way, ever since my girlfriend passed, i feel overwhelmed with despair and guilt. all i want to do is sleep, and the thought of ctb crosses my mind more than i'd like to admit. the only things that keeps me from ctb is my cat, my family, and my brother. they're the reasons i cant, i wish no one cared whether i lived or died. i hope to live alone soon, but part of me just wants to ctb now. i often wish i could turn back time and make different choices to fix my life, but that's not possible.
DEAD
 
M

MyTimeIsUp

Perhaps I'll be important when I'm long gone?
Feb 27, 2024
529
As much as my mornings are good now, because I only have my workouts to look forward to and nothing else, once that's over, it hits me like a ton of bricks. So, the inevitable, which is suicide. I'll kill myself. Unless something magical happens. .

I'm waiting to see what happens in the next few weeks, because I had some pretty decent news today. It means starting again, but that's ok, at least I can try to rebuild myself. If it goes to shit, I can simply check out. But I'll give it a try.

One last try at life, and this time, I'm not doing it for anyone. I'm doing it for ME. I think it's important to do things for yourself, but I also understand why some people stay alive for others, because in that moment, you want to stay alive. You need a reason to stay, and that's ok.

It's also ok if you want to completely check out and kill yourself, if you have exhausted all avenues of trying. Whatever works for you is ok.
 
SmilingNoMore

SmilingNoMore

Paragon
Nov 25, 2024
945
Don't see myself, hardly see myself going into next year. It's just blank, surreal, like no tangible future at this point. @TheHolySword thanks for reminding me to play the lottery.
 
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avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,358
Every time this question comes upI inevitably answer with "Dead", yet, still breathing and typing this.

This time however, is different. I literally have nobody to spend time with, aside from someone I play Pokémon GO with a couple times a week. Family basically abandoned me, or I them. Pretty much a mix of both. This is very clear in the fact that the past couple of years I have barely seen them and never get invitations to family holiday gatherings or even a chance to be around them at all. Everyone is so concerned about everyone else except me.

So this time I can say "Dead" and pretty much mean it. Once again faced with potential homelessness in a bit over a month because finding a job this time is proving to be futile. Hell, I am thinking of just going out pretty soon because things are looking VERY bleak at this point.
 
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Gstreater

Gstreater

Student
Aug 10, 2024
155
I'm hoping I'm dead by then, living after another year or two sounds truly awful.
 
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foreverlanguish

foreverlanguish

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ sleepy in a heaven's sprawl
Dec 7, 2024
148
Dead. I've always had this feeling of not wanting to live past my 18th, and I wouldn't want to be stuck in some hospital or doing the same things I always do.
 
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ThatRussianDude

ThatRussianDude

**** yeah, give it to me this is Heaven.
Dec 16, 2024
89
Oh, in 4 years I see myself being the president of America or becoming an astronaut. What kind of quiestion is that on a suicide forum?
 

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