bedtimebabe
Member
- Jun 13, 2023
- 39
I look at friends I've had and people I've known and a lot of them are genuinely content with their lives and even happy I would say. And it's not fake. And then there's me… and now I fully hate my existence, I feel constantly like a wrongness, and all I'm able to think about these days is CTB. Every day feels like some terrible strange nightmare that I can't wake from and all I'm really doing anymore is biding my time until I CTB. I constantly wonder how it is that my life turned out so bad especially when I've tried so hard like I've really tried to be happy and make something of my life and I've just gotten the opposite.
I could go into what's going on in my life but I won't do that right now.
Anyway what I am saying is…
Do you ever wonder like… what is wrong with me???!!! What's so wrong with me that I never get the things I wish for and have gotten to the point where I can't even wish for life even, where I've fully lost the will to live. Why do so many people seem fine or okay and I can't even pass ten minutes without thinking about suicide, and contemplating suicide is like one of my only reliefs left?
The only thing that brings me happiness these days is contemplating suicide for real, and I feel so alienated talking to people who are okay and doing well. Not that I have many friends left or people who wish to talk to me.
But seriously… where did I go wrong? Does anyone else feel this way? It does feel like I've somehow completely failed life, while others make it look easy to exist or enjoy life.
How did I fail so miserably…
I could go into what's going on in my life but I won't do that right now.
Anyway what I am saying is…
Do you ever wonder like… what is wrong with me???!!! What's so wrong with me that I never get the things I wish for and have gotten to the point where I can't even wish for life even, where I've fully lost the will to live. Why do so many people seem fine or okay and I can't even pass ten minutes without thinking about suicide, and contemplating suicide is like one of my only reliefs left?
The only thing that brings me happiness these days is contemplating suicide for real, and I feel so alienated talking to people who are okay and doing well. Not that I have many friends left or people who wish to talk to me.
But seriously… where did I go wrong? Does anyone else feel this way? It does feel like I've somehow completely failed life, while others make it look easy to exist or enjoy life.
How did I fail so miserably…