When you think about suicide how does it manifest

[WildAtHeart]

I often think of myself throwing myself infront of a moving car, happens whenever I am outside and walk past someone driving. I don't think to do it, just think about doing it and seeing my fucked up broken body on the road.

 

[vitbar]

Most often I either tell myself I should do it, or affirm my desire to end things ("wish I was dead", "I want to die").

Another common form is imagining the moment of no return: Kicking the chair out from under me, rope gone taught. The sounds ane sensations.

I get planning thoughts too. Mentally listing things I need to do or buy. Thinking about when and where. Debating open questions like whether to leave notes. This planning sometimes bleeds into the above with each step imagined.

One other form comes to mind: I imagine I'm already dead. Police knocking on the door of loved ones. A coroners report. It doesn't usually include their response.

 

[WildAtHeart]

Most often I either tell myself I should do it, or affirm my desire to end things ("wish I was dead", "I want to die").

Another common form is imagining the moment of no return: Kicking the chair out from under me, rope gone taught. The sounds ane sensations.

I get planning thoughts too. Mentally listing things I need to do or buy. Thinking about when and where. Debating open questions like whether to leave notes. This planning sometimes bleeds into the above with each step imagined.

One other form comes to mind: I imagine I'm already dead. Police knocking on the door of loved ones. A coroners report. It doesn't usually include their response.

Sounds intense,
Is it?

 

[Sutter]

A soft ache.

I know it will be a moment, there may be a silent automaton moving, a mechanical action of completing things. Finding a quiet solitary personal space where I can sit and watch different facets of lifes load drop from me, like ice from a cloud. Where Im finally just the core of myself as I wait for my own grief to stalk my soul. Using lifes best moments to make a darkness so thick and a life so devoid of future tense that I am sure in that moment, there is no more to follow. In that last moment of still feeling the love lost, that moment of soft heart ache, I will quickly slide a half moon sliver of metal to the rear of a trigger guard and settle in to a winter that never ends.

A soft ache in my heart is how it starts and a moments breath is how it stops.

 

[vitbar]

Sounds intense,
Is it?

It can be. The tone and frequency scale with how bad my mental health is. At the worst the thoughts are near constant and almost physically press down on me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm always thinking of ceasing to exist in a peaceful, painless way with a death like falling into an eternal, dreamless sleep which is all I wish and hope for, I only wish for some peace from this cruel, torturous existence. No matter what only non-existence could ever be desirable to me which is why it brings me so much pain how I cannot just have a death like that, I'm so tired of suffering in this existence but really I never should have suffered in the first place.

 

[waterrrrrrrrrbottel]

I think of myself as lifeless, almost sleeping. I don't view anything deformed. Maybe that's why my SI is so high

 

[diy-event]

A wave that overpowers me and takes me away

 

[lann.371]

I'll have dug to deep I can't dig myself out of it. I live really close to trains and often think about dying by them. Soon perhaps. Such an intriguing thought.