Venting When you hear that other people have ctb does it make you feel sad or do you envy them?

[FuneralCry]

Whenever I hear that other people ctb I certainly envy them, I envy their courage for taking control over their inevitable fate in this world where suicide is purposely made so difficult, freeing themselves from all the suffering that existing brings.

I think that those who no longer exist are fortunate as they are now completely unaware of everything, I believe death to be perfect non-existence, true relief from suffering and freedom from this harmful world.

I don't think it's a tragedy that someone cannot suffer anymore, we are all going to die anyway and suicide is just someone deciding to leave on their own terms preventing unnecessary suffering, for me suicide is the most preferable way to die.

The true tragic thing is the existence of life and how there is so much endless suffering and senseless cruelty in existing, it's certainly tragic and inhumane how despite this methods like Nembutal aren't legalised and humans are expected to suffer endlessly until they inevitably cease existing.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I feel a mixture of both envy and sadness.
I greatly admire the courage of those who have gone, yet am also saddened that this dreadful world has finally driven them to exit.
And, yes Nembutal NEEDS to be legalized.

 

[day]

I'm never happy to hear people have gone as long as they have suffering. I don't think I'd consider it envy but I'm happy they hopefully can find an end to all the pain the world brings.

No one deserves this but I can't help but to feel we live in a world where humans all suffer endlessly. I've said it before that no matter how much money, friends, family, meaning of any sorts you can obtain I truly feel suffering will never end.

I've never wanted to live till I die of old age and CTB always seemed like the right way out.

So I guess I really do neither though I'm happy for those that can finally feel peace.

 

[AllFoxedOut]

both. I don't wish the suffering on people who have been drawn to CTB and it saddens me greatly that they got there; but there's definitely a "I wish it were me" feeling to it.

 

[WRITTENINBLOOD!]

hmmm… in the middle. the thought of ctb or others ctb just makes me feel empty in a way that i can't explain. i agree with u, if they stayed in this world they would just continue feeling miserable with people continuing 2 ignore their pain bc nobody actually cares unless u attempt or cut or something similar. someone should not be forced 2 stay here when they're clearly suffering, it's not fair in the slightest. so, in a way, i don't exactly envy them, but im glad they found peace and are finally free, even if it causes me pain bc i knew them personally or something like that

 

[JustStopThePain]

I feel a mixture of both envy and sadness.
I greatly admire the courage of those who have gone, yet am also saddened that this dreadful world has finally driven them to exit.
And, yes Nembutal NEEDS to be legalized.

In my journey so far, I have painfully been reminded that there is NO SURE THING! Just better odd's! We come into this World Alone and When we leave it, on our own or with drawn out help, we end up doing it alone.

Best of Luck and hope that you find y our awnser's ! The web is full of lots of info, but wow, narrow minds have sure made our research almost impossible!

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

I honestly do not care. I don't feel sadness nor envy. It's their life and they can choose what to do with it. I'm not going to dictate anyone who is suicidal to live through showing sadness over someone passing or envy or any emotion really. I don't feel relieved for them nor happy or sad. In my eyes choosing to die is just another every day decision like eating jam on toast for breakfast. At least if the person is someone unknown to me. If I was really close to them of course I'd miss them. However I don't think I'd feel anything regarding the fact that they made a decision for themselves. Who am I to judge if it was the right one or not? Being sad or feeling happy for them would mean that I judge the decision for them which I don't want to do as it was theirs to make and only they knew if it was the right one for them or not.

 

[MrDarkness]

I feel sad, they are living beings, the world was hard on them, so they passed. I can not shed enough tears of blood to honour them

 

[suicidalloser]

I am envious.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

both

 

[todiefor]

I always feel sad, they must have suffered a lot, the world must have been so cruel to them, they must have endured such until that moment. I feel similarly and I feel sad that their live brought them to that point

 

[kocto]

for me, it's neither. it's respect. even in other situations if i see someoen else with like maybe sh or scars, or someone that has been SA'd. I just feel this form of respect and understanding. you know?

 

[alonely]

If I were close to someone who CTB, I would feel sad for myself, for losing a friend. But when I recovered from my own emotion, I would feel happy for them, for being strong, for making their choice, for finding their peace. I would mourn the life I would have wished for them, and the suffering that they instead had to experience.

If it is someone I do not know or have no connection to, I don't feel much. Intrigued and interested about the circumstances and methods and such.

I think that I only envy death that is not by suicide, in that I wished I could have taken their place and died while they lived as someone who wanted to be alive.

 

[hag]

I've never felt envy. I do feel varying degrees of sadness most of the time, often depending on the person's age and circumstances. I feel no sadness if the person is a pedophile or a murderer.

 

[Sapphire]

I feel sad when I hear that someone suffered so much that they killed themself. I can't say that I have ever envied them. Their life must have been a living hell for them to even consider killing themself.

 

[TAW122]

I feel a little bit of sadness knowing that they ended up choosing to CTB as a result of their circumstances (especially if it was something that they wouldn't have chosen had they had better circumstances -- I blame the external circumstances as well that pushed them towards CTB), but at the same time, I understand and respect their decision as well as their courage and ability to overcome their own SI. I also feel some relief knowing that they are no longer suffering.

 

[waverinthought]

I feel great sadness for them, that the world didn't offer them anything good enough to stay. Media likes to focus on the living of the people who CTB and how they struggle, but I can't imagine what it felt like having to come to terms with leaving the people around you with pain because life was too much to bear. I don't envy them, because I don't want to die, but I feel a sense of mortality rise in me, because the voices in my head want me to be like them. Its scary sometimes.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Both.

 

[XdragonsoulX]

I feel sad whenever I see someone ctb, I always burn an incense stick in their honour and wish them eternal peace

 

[loopdaloop]

neither of them, I just respect their autonomy and personal choices

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's a bit mixed here. Ofc on the one handside when someone reached a point with no other way out and CTB is the only option that's a bit sad but on the other handside I understand that it's their relief from probably endless agony and suffering they had to endure up to this point. Yes death is the only relief.

Yes I envy and admire people who have reached the point they can overcome SI and everything else to CTB because I know for me personally that it's unlikely my life will change but although I had several nearly perfect chances to CTB in the past weeks I hesitated to much and didn't even really try it.

 

[Petrichor]

I mostly feel sad for them. I feel guilty and sad that they thought their only option was to CTB and that they were driven to do so. While I also think to myself "Good for them, I'm glad they're out of here now." I don't really feel much envy, because I know I will be able to join them one day (going to make sure of it).

 

[saddestbunny]

I feel relief on their behalf for what they can't experience anymore

very envious but mostly of their will to do so

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

The very first gut feeling I got, I feel incredibly sad and get emotional and teary. It's incredibly sad that so many people have to end their lives to stop hurting…. Each time I stumble upon someone's goodbye thread a part of me dies…. A little later I start feeling a bit jealous….

 

[Mr2005]

I feel more sorry for the living reading this thread

 

[amia77]

Whenever I hear that other people ctb I certainly envy them, I envy their courage for taking control over their inevitable fate in this world where suicide is purposely made so difficult, freeing themselves from all the suffering that existing brings.

I think that those who no longer exist are fortunate as they are now completely unaware of everything, I believe death to be perfect non-existence, true relief from suffering and freedom from this harmful world.

I don't think it's a tragedy that someone cannot suffer anymore, we are all going to die anyway and suicide is just someone deciding to leave on their own terms preventing unnecessary suffering, for me suicide is the most preferable way to die.

The true tragic thing is the existence of life and how there is so much endless suffering and senseless cruelty in existing, it's certainly tragic and inhumane how despite this methods like Nembutal aren't legalised and humans are expected to suffer endlessly until they inevitably cease existing.

It's saddening to know that those closest to them will probably never be able to hear about or understand their suffering anymore, when a person CTB they take all their life lessons and hardships with them. Even if it wouldn't have made the suffering go away, I feel those near them would have likes to know what brought them to that stage, just for peace of mind. In other ways, I really envy their strength, I want to be strong enough to stop suffering, too.

 

[Aloneisbestforme]

I feel both.

It's sad that life has beaten them down so much that the only way to have true peace is to ctb.
And ctb is not easy at all. whatever the method is even peaceful ones it takes so much to just do it. mainly because of si.

and the people that can fight through the pain and si of ctb. I greatly admire those and I am happy that those people can finally have true peace after being beaten by life for so long

 

[538yeoz]

both - sorry for the pain, happy for the escape

 

[Kikoo]

both

 

[DeathSleep]

It makes me feel both ways. I envy that they succeeded where I have not. But, I'm sad that they suffered.