Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
I wonder what it's like to wake up and just know. There should be a movie around that concept. The movie would be an ordinary drama and then all of a sudden you're following the character to a rooftop or something. It'd be a great twist.
 
G

GoneFromRevolution

Life is a highway, why not be the man in my trunk?
Nov 6, 2022
28
My last few attempts were spontaneous, not planned at all. I didn't wake up knowing it would be "the day", they've all been normal days (so, shitty) and decided that I'd had enough.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
My last few attempts were spontaneous, not planned at all. I didn't wake up knowing it would be "the day", they've all been normal days (so, shitty) and decided that I'd had enough.
Was it less stressful that way?
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,885
I would likely do the 3 day protocol SN method- basically just taking Meto the prior days also- so- I likely would plan a few days in advance.

But yeah- that movie idea sounds interesting... I wonder what really goes through your head when you know the day has come to end it.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,945
I think that as long as someone has a reliable method planned then they can just leave when the time feels right, I know that if I had a method as ideal as Nembutal I would just leave as soon as possible, there's no value in prolonging meaningless and unnecessary suffering.
 
A

Adriana

New Member
May 31, 2023
4
I would likely do the 3 day protocol SN method- basically just taking Meto the prior days also- so- I likely would plan a few days in advance.

But yeah- that movie idea sounds interesting... I wonder what really goes through your head when you know the day has come to end it.
What is Meto? Sorry, am noob to here but old hat at failing spectacularly to kill myself.
 
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BoredomSeeker

BoredomSeeker

"A black light bulb. The repression of an idea."
May 25, 2023
100
I have a rough idea of when I will most likely do it, however I am waiting to see how certain factors change before I commit to an actual hard deadline
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,885
What is Meto? Sorry, am noob to here but old hat at failing spectacularly to kill myself.
Metoclopramide (anti-emetic) to reduce the chance of vomiting.
 
ringo99

ringo99

Arcanist
Apr 18, 2023
424
My plan is to ctb as soon as I'm laid off which should happen sometime next year. I'm done trying to keep up in the industry I'm in, the demands of life and living in my shitty society with my condition. Got my SN before it gets regulated even further


There should be a movie around that concept. The movie would be an ordinary drama and then all of a sudden you're following the character to a rooftop or something. It'd be a great twist.


The plot isn't what you described but the closest movie to this concept I can think of is Leaving Las Vegas starring Nicholas Cage.
 
PreCambrianBliss

PreCambrianBliss

Touring the primordial aeon
Apr 26, 2023
91
100% plan ahead. I don't think it's reasonable to end my entire life based on a decision made in a single day. I'll probably pick a date ~6 months beforehand so I can be certain it's what I want.
 
willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,941
The way I have always operated is I make a plan and perfect it, and hold onto it until the moment is right. So planned spontaneity I suppose. It's not impulsive, as I've known about it for weeks, or months, or in one case a couple of years, but waited until the day where it felt right. Currently am just relapsing after a good several months in remission of my suicidal thoughts so it's time to brush the dust off of my latest plan.
 
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highjumping

highjumping

Outcast
May 30, 2023
93
def always planing ahead, it just makes me feel safer
 
DeathSleep

DeathSleep

Unstable Potato
May 25, 2023
239
Depends on method for me. If I'm practicing swb and it happens, then it's done. If I get my hands on a gun though I may pick a day or month or however I decide to pick it.
 
wanderingbeam

wanderingbeam

Member
Jul 14, 2022
19
i'm not a spontaneous person at all, so definitely planning ahead. i do want to go as soon as possible though, hopefully before the end of this month
 
Charlie-Bravo

Charlie-Bravo

Member
May 30, 2023
83
I plan to ctb mid June. Don't want to set a day to not stress myself, give some wiggle room. On my first attempt I booked a hotel and when that day came it felt like a new step in my "life", like I suppose somebody would feel who travels to a new place to start uni or so. Surprisingly exiting
 
WaffleWoman

WaffleWoman

Ready to sleep
May 16, 2023
178
I wonder what it's like to wake up and just know. There should be a movie around that concept. The movie would be an ordinary drama and then all of a sudden you're following the character to a rooftop or something. It'd be a great twist.
Every time i have attempted has been spontaneous so its most likely going to be like that again
 
leftdreaming

leftdreaming

I should’ve been a house cat
Apr 28, 2023
170
I'll know it's my time when I beat SI. It won't be a "wake up and know" but rather a confidence in the moment.
 
girlsboysthems

girlsboysthems

no i dont have a gun
Dec 19, 2022
420
i usually plan a few days before, if im taking something from the dark web i plan a few weeks in advance
 
F

farlander

Member
Apr 19, 2023
12
In my case when I was actively suicidal, I had things planned out and was just waiting for a day that was bad enough to justify it in my mind. Ironically that part of my life just went away and the closest I came was over a decade later when my whole life got turned upside down in one awful fight with my (now ex) spouse. I had the presence of mind to check myself into a psyche ward and it was pretty terrible for a while but now I've built up so many mental hurdles that I've essentially thought myself out of ever attempting to off myself ever again. I think getting medicated gave me the breathing room to start building those roadblocks when prior I had nothing that interrupted the mental sequence that started with things going bad > planning my suicide. Tl;dr I guess: a little from column a, a little from column b.
 
P

picklemick

Specialist
Jun 28, 2022
304
Originally it was planned. Started my SN protocol knowing when I planned to drink it.
Unfortunately that was interrupted and SN taken.
So I now will likely spontaneously hang myself. I'm having trouble planning that one as it's much more terrifying to me.
 
Sapphire

Sapphire

Student
Nov 22, 2022
186
It will be spontaneous. It's the only way that I will be able to go through with it. When I set a date in the future, I get more and more anxious as the day draws closer.
 
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cami

cami

the lonely
May 27, 2023
186
i think i can offer a perspective on this because i have attempted ctb in both ways. for me, it was actually quite relaxing knowing that i didnt have to worry about anything beyond a certain date. however spontaneous gave me instant relief. so i guess it just depends on your personality which is better.
 

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