When is enough enough?

[jimmy7754]

It is when life loses value in itself and everything becomes empty and worthless and you just don't care anymore, and you know you can't change anything and you don't want to change anything either... you just crave for the end of all things at once. And you don't care anymore about the consequences of that desire and you don't care if you're hurting someone because in the end nothing else has that importance that you gave so much, It is when your greatest hope and joy becomes the shutdown of all senses and consciousness itself. It is when the opening of the eyes every day is no longer a gift but a misfortune that needs correction. It is when you start grinding your teeth when someone tells you that life is worth living or that life is beautiful just the way it is. It is when you just want to disappear without a trace and you don't care who goes to your funeral anymore. It is when people's tears don't touch your heart anymore. It is when it doesn't matter anymore when someone tells you they love you because you You've already made your decision and love has no power over you to make you stay. It's when beautiful words and sensible phrases don't change your mind or your perspective on CTB. It is when you know that once the door is open you will do it. It's when you're so broken that you don't want help, you don't help yourself and you are unable to receive help and you don't care either cuz just the end matters for you, Its when you fail to have plans or dreams or anything that normal people focus on because you don't care to achieve... cuz you're just drifting and you want to drown cuz you just became so amorphous and formless that you've lost yourself and you don't even know who you are anymore, you no longer recognize yourself in the mirror literally and then you try to hold on to some shadow of what you believed to be true and realize that it was always a shadow anyway ...
It is when the very idea of some possible immortality of consciousness anywhere becomes a nightmare... you're just super tired of everything and you really just want to rest forever and really bag to god to be that way, whether out of cowardice or emptiness or pain, you just can't stand life and people and their quirks and whims anymore because all your energy is gone and you've become super intolerant of every little mistake or failure that comes your way...your resilience is broken for good. That's is MY enough.

I love Pink Floyd too! I wish people still wrote albums like dark side of the moon.. it's like each song complements each other.. kind of like a motion picture!

 

[PrisonBreak]

I have long reached my breaking point.. I'm just waiting for serenity to kick in, as I understand survival instinct can overshadow my mind and thoughts. I need to make peace with a decision I have made long ago.

 

[IWTD]

How do we know when it's time? I know it's different for every person but I'm curious… This is such a big decision. How have some of you decided enough is enough and it's time to go?

Every day thoughts invade my mind. I feel everyday I could take the path. I find myself sitting at the bus stop more and more frequently. I'm fighting not to cross that line, it's harder for me to live I feel than to die. I'm getting closer to losing the battle, I'm beginning to hurt myself more and more both physically and mentally. Now that physical pain is beginning not to be enough to subside the "intrusive" thoughts. I'm afraid I'm running out of options; and will CTB sooner than later.

 

[makethepainstop]

How do we know when it's time? I know it's different for every person but I'm curious… This is such a big decision. How have some of you decided enough is enough and it's time to go?

Each and every soul knows in their hearts when it's time. Time is subjective to each individual.

 

[Sad_Sack]

My serious attempt to end it happened literally within moments of waking up one morning with a rush of adrenaline and the realisation that I had just once again woke up for another day of physical and mental torture. I had been feeling suicidal for months and had everything ready to go so I just acted on it but failed. The moment was absolutely right for it in a number of ways. I of course failed and was hospitalised and it really did a number on my poor wife. I haven't tried since but I am really getting close again. Its like literally crumbling under a massive boulder and everyone just wants you to be able to hold it forever but I literally can not do it. I'm so guilty about leaving them like this but I am fucking unable to do this anymore.