Discussion When is a man in his prime (attractiveness or outer appearance like)?

[Linda]

Wow! This is so well-written and very detailed. Thank you SO much for taking the time and effort to write all of this. It is very informative, and gave me a clear and concise picture of what a relationship with an older guy would look like. It is exactly what I want. It would work for me because that is exactly the kind of a man I want, and I am able to do that for him as well. Thanks a lot for this . Are you a guy too? You seem very knowledgeable about this.

I'm 70 and I have seen a lot of life, probably more than most people. I am often able to figure out how I would feel if I was in someone else's situation.

 

[moth_geist]

I don't think there's an objective answer. These types of things will always vary for every individual. Some people peak in junior high school, some peak at forty. I don't believe this to be a trait exclusive to gender. I actually think women age better than men do but have a higher chance of meeting obstacles that prevent them from doing so, such as the stress of birthing and caring for children.

I've always heard that younger women prefer older men but I've found that to be rare. I've known several guy friends to actively go after older women but all of my female friends (and myself) typically have always felt grossed out when approached by older men. There are always exceptions but it's rare to find an older guy who is Anthony Bourdain (while living obv) sexy. I personally am only interested in people around my age and I'm willing to bet this is the norm. I don't see myself ever going outside the border of ~three years either direction but this has more to do with mentality than physical appearance. I'm honestly confounded by how someone can be attracted to conventional attractiveness by itself but I guess that's a different conversation.

 

[Mirrory Me]

It would be good to live healthily, then you will age more slowly.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

It depends on how one exhibits the word "Prime" to the opposite sex.
There are women who like younger men, like those without experience. For them, the "innocence" part means that it's the best that the man can be before external influences set it.
There are also women who define "Prime" as being more experienced and worldly, who want the men to take care of them and pamper them, etc etc etc.
However, regardless of the women's preferences, there are baseline requirements that need to be fulfilled prior to being in the category of "prime".
One of them certainly is physical appearance. (yeah yeah, people will say "no, as long as they make me laugh, etc etc" but that is not true)
Another is financial stability. True, you can "present" yourself as being financially stable without actually being one, but that's another story.
Then you have skillsets. Men who can cook (but not necessarily do so), who can play sports, musical instruments, drive stick, do basic car stuff, can hold a decent conversation, etc all these add to the category of "prime"
Hygiene and outward appearance matter as well. I've separated this from the physical appearance because even if you have a six pack, but the only things in your wardrobe are boardshorts and tshirts and you go out to certain places, the sick pack wont matter if you stink or if everyone is on business casual and you're wearing flipflops.

TL;DR: "prime" differs depending who you want to attract, but there are pre-requisites regardless. If you're insisting on limiting it to age, then it's until you're 50( if you're a dude). Of course, the pre-requisites still apply.

 

[Ultracheese]

I think the general consensus seems to be that peak attractiveness tends to be in one's twenties. I'm guessing the fertility plus youth argument is why most of us perceive it that way. Personally, I find that I'm most attracted to men in their forties-sixties. I don't think this has anything to do with maturity as some of them have been even less mature than me, a 19-year-old. It's purely a physical thing, which seems to be pretty unusual as far as I'm aware.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Call it poetic license, or something like that. Yes, of course it's an exaggeration. But it contains more than a grain of truth, and it conveys the point I needed to make in my post.

Is it really okay to generalize in such a way despite the implications it causes? Okay well I guess it doesnt matter, I will be generalized, judged, etc all for things that are beyond my control. Fuck my life.

 

[Linda]

Is it really okay to generalize in such a way despite the implications it causes? Okay well I guess it doesnt matter, I will be generalized, judged, etc all for things that are beyond my control. Fuck my life.

I don't think it's always necessary to write in a way that is 100% precise and 100% literal. That may be the best way to write in something like a scientific paper, but it's not the only way to communicate. It's not the way we communicate in ordinary life. If an English friend complains that It's always raining where I come from, should I criticise him because I know that it doesn't rain 24 hours of every day in England? If course not. I know that what he is trying to say is that it rains more than he likes. He is just expressing himself in ordinary English, and I am expected to be able to understand his meaning.

It is a fact that (most) young men think a lot about sex. I think it's perfectly reasonable to express that indirectly by saying Young men think only about sex. I also think it's reasonable to expect readers to understand what I mean.

On the other hand, there are a lot of autistic people on this forum, and some may tend to take what I write more literally than it was intended (and more literally than allistic people would take it). I'll try to bear that in mind in future posts, and I'll try to choose my words more carefully. But I don't think I can change competely the way I have learned to express myself over 70 years.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I don't think it's always necessary to write in a way that is 100% precise and 100% literal. That may be the best way to write in something like a scientific paper, but it's not the only way to communicate. It's not the way we communicate in ordinary life. If an English friend complains that It's always raining where I come from, should I criticise him because I know that it doesn't rain 24 hours of every day in England? If course not. I know that what he is trying to say is that it rains more than he likes. He is just expressing himself in ordinary English, and I am expected to be able to understand his meaning.

It is a fact that (most) young men think a lot about sex. I think it's perfectly reasonable to express that indirectly by saying Young men think only about sex. I also think it's reasonable to expect readers to understand what I mean.

On the other hand, there are a lot of autistic people on this forum, and some may tend to take what I write more literally than it was intended (and more literally than allistic people would take it). I'll try to bear that in mind in future posts, and I'll try to choose my words more carefully. But I don't think I can change competely the way I have learned to express myself over 70 years.

I was upset when I wrote that and I do take things too literally on the forum. Sorry.

 

[Linda]

I was upset when I wrote that and I do take things too literally on the forum. Sorry.

No problem. It's valuable feedback, and I appreciate it. I can't learn how to do things better unless someone points out when things are not quite right.