Discussion When is a man in his prime (attractiveness or outer appearance like)?

[noname223]

I am in my mid twenties and look rather old for my age. But I am not completely sure. I think I behave mature. My outer appearance is not the issue why I don't find a girlfriend (I think) it is rather the fact that I am a complete mental wreck and become easily paranoid etc. . That being said I did not have a lot of success on dating apps. Barely any. This was a big hit to my ego but I think my profile preferences were not really the target group on these platforms. My friends did not have a lot success either and told me how depressing this was.

I notice that judging on my outer appearance women seem to like me at college. Maybe especially younger girls who want someone mature and independent a real man. (Who I am certainly not lmao). But after some interactions with the wreck I simply am it is over. My theory is that I have to find a gf as long as my outer appearance gives me some advantage. On the hand one could argument that it gets easier for men in an older age because the women also get older. I think this might be pretty offensive but many men worship young women. (In my opinion too much). I think simple biology is the reason behind that. Women lose the ability to reproduce and our neanderthal brains are programmed mostly by them. It is pretty superficial and shallow.

I think I might be in my prime currently in my mid-twenties it only gets worse after this. (which is also a little bit sad and frightening). Maybe my peak is already over. But this also depends on the individual and I certainly won't describe me here.

 

[sanction]

I am in my mid twenties and look rather old for my age. But I am not completely sure. I think I behave mature. My outer appearance is not the issue why I don't find a girlfriend (I think) it is rather the fact that I am a complete mental wreck and become easily paranoid etc. . That being said I did not have a lot of success on dating apps. Barely any. This was a big hit to my ego but I think my profile preferences were not really the target group on these platforms. My friends did not have a lot success either and told me how depressing this was.

I notice that judging on my outer appearance women seem to like me at college. Maybe especially younger girls who want someone mature and independent a real man. (Who I am certainly not lmao). But after some interactions with the wreck I simply am it is over. My theory is that I have to find a gf as long as my outer appearance gives me some advantage. On the hand one could argument that it gets easier for men in an older age because the women also get older. I think this might be pretty offensive but many men worship young women. (In my opinion too much). I think simple biology is the reason behind that. Women lose the ability to reproduce and our neanderthal brains are programmed mostly by them. It is pretty superficial and shallow.

I think I might be in my prime currently in my mid-twenties it only gets worse after this. (which is also a little bit sad and frightening). Maybe my peak is already over. But this also depends on the individual and I certainly won't describe me here.

Eventually those dating apps will be full of fake profiles created by artificial intelligence that will seem super real, to scam people and have people send them crypto lol. Maybe the chats are even automated by Chat GPT lol

 

[Adûnâi]

How did you get pictures for the dating applications? Do you have friends and money to be taken pictures of? The only thing I could do was my face in the bathroom mirror, I'm an absolute retard.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I read somewhere that many women nowadays would rather only exclusively date men in their 30s or above even if the women themselves are as young as 19. The reason for this is that by that point the men should have all the dating experience they need as well as a higher probability of actually having a stable job and savings built up from the past decade.

Too bad I just turned 30 and have neither. Doesn't matter how tall I am or how I look I still only have a few dollars to my name and zero dating experience whatsoever so I might as well be the same as a 12 year old in the eyes of most women.

 

[noname223]

How did you get pictures for the dating applications? Do you have friends and money to be taken pictures of? The only thing I could do was my face in the bathroom mirror, I'm an absolute retard.

Mirror and I asked a family member.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've always liked older guys. Even when I was young, I fancied men rather than boys. Late 30's-40's. All women are different though. But yeah- I agree. In general terms, I think men are seen as attractive for a much wider period than women. Again though- it does completely depend on the person.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Definitely when he's a week shy of 40. I just plucked that out of thin air.

 

[Linda]

I am in my mid twenties and look rather old for my age. But I am not completely sure. I think I behave mature. My outer appearance is not the issue why I don't find a girlfriend (I think) it is rather the fact that I am a complete mental wreck and become easily paranoid etc. . That being said I did not have a lot of success on dating apps. Barely any. This was a big hit to my ego but I think my profile preferences were not really the target group on these platforms. My friends did not have a lot success either and told me how depressing this was.

I notice that judging on my outer appearance women seem to like me at college. Maybe especially younger girls who want someone mature and independent a real man. (Who I am certainly not lmao). But after some interactions with the wreck I simply am it is over. My theory is that I have to find a gf as long as my outer appearance gives me some advantage. On the hand one could argument that it gets easier for men in an older age because the women also get older. I think this might be pretty offensive but many men worship young women. (In my opinion too much). I think simple biology is the reason behind that. Women lose the ability to reproduce and our neanderthal brains are programmed mostly by them. It is pretty superficial and shallow.

I think I might be in my prime currently in my mid-twenties it only gets worse after this. (which is also a little bit sad and frightening). Maybe my peak is already over. But this also depends on the individual and I certainly won't describe me here.

This is somethg about which you can't generalise. Everyone is different. My niece, at age 30, married a man who was 23 years older than her, and the marriage is a very happy one. So you have a long way to go before you are over the hill.

I don't like the idea of dating apps. That may just mean that I am hopelessly old-fashioned, but in my day we met people in person - at a bar, or a disco, or at some organisation to which we both belonged, etc. It seemed to work just fine. You can assess someone better that way, before you (or they) make the frst move. On a very few occasions in the 1970s and early 1980 I did try meeting people through contact ads in newspapers, which were the closest thing we had then to dating apps. It never worked well. I think the reason it didn't work well is that I couldn't do that preliminary stage of assessing them in person, and ruling out the ones I wasn't really interested in

 

[DarkRange55]

I've heard biologically, your peak is around 24-26 but
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, particularly for fetishests (NO I am NOT referring to pedophiles)

Gerontophilia - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

Chronophilia - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[sserafim]

I'm not sure but I think it's before 25? I heard that after 25, you start aging, so I guess your prime is your early to mid 20s. I think I'm attracted to people around my age, my crush was born in the same year as me (2000). Btw what about women? When do you think a woman is in her prime?

 

[Linda]

I have no idea because I'm a girl but I think it's before 25? I heard that after 25, you start aging, so I guess your prime is your early to mid 20s. I guess I'm attracted to people around my age, my crush was born in the same year as me (2000). Btw what about women? When do you think a woman is in her prime?

"When do you think a woman is in her prime?" Depends what you are trying to measure. Looks? Child-bearing potential? How fast she can run? Experience? Wisdom? Tranquility?

 

[sserafim]

"When do you think a woman is in her prime?" Depends what you are trying to measure. Looks? Child-bearing potential? How fast she can run? Experience? Wisdom? Tranquility?

I guess the same as OP (looks, attractiveness and outer appearance)

 

[Linda]

I guess the same as OP (looks, attractiveness and outer appearance)

By that measure, I would say between about 16 and 30 (or perhaps 35 for some women). That's what men seem to prefer when they have sex on their mind - which for young men is most of the time.

 

[d3ad]

By that measure, I would say between about 16 and 30 (or perhaps 35 for some women). That's what men seem to prefer when they have sex on their mind - which for young men is most of the time.

What about older men? I am mostly attracted to them, and I am 20.

 

[sick.faery]

i actually googled that a while ago. from what i remember the true peak is 22-25 but overall your pretty hot biologically from 17/18 to 35. to women who are poor and believe they need a guy to give them ressources, your prime can be extended up to your early 40s (also biologically). male fertility seems to peak in early-mid 20s, and sperm starts to decrease in quality at 35. though guys have slower slope to the death of their sex appeal than women do after 35.


that's the biology answer, but or else personally i think that as long as you stay at a normal bmi, dont bald, and dont age worse than the average, you should be good until mid 40s. personally noticed that around 43-45 i dont find guys sexually appealing anymore. though even though i still find 35yos and stuff hot, i think guys are their hottest personally at about 20 -25. most women anyways still find guys in their ate twenties, and at least until mid 30s, still very attractive i think also.

moral of the story anyways is you dont need to worry yet, your still are and will be for a while in your prime, so your good :)

 

[Linda]

What about older men? I am mostly attracted to them, and I am 20.

Young men think only about sex. Older men think about sex too, but they also think about other things, such as companionship. So suppose an older man - let's say aged around 40 - was assessing you, what would he be looking for? He would certainly notice your looks. (He's a man, after all.) But he will probably have had previous relationships, so he will know that you can't build a successful relationship on sex alone. (I'm assuming he is assessing you as a potential partner, not a potential mistress, or one night thing.) He would want to know whether he feels comfortable with you, whether you and he have enough interests in common, and have sufficiently similar ways of looking at the world, for him to be happy having you around all the time. (That includes, but is not limited to, attitudes to things like religion, politics, having kids.) He is likely to be financially stable at age 40, and unless you are independently wealthy yourself, he will have more money than you. So he will watch closely how you spend your money, because he knows that if you become his partner you will finish up spending his money too. As far as money is concerned, you need to come across as sensible, and not someone who spends too freely. (If he is distinctly wealthy, he will fear that you are interested only in his money, not in him, and you will have to figure out a way of addressing his concerns on that.) He will also want someone who is at least reasonably mature emotionally - no teenage angst or that kind of thing. He will have seen enough of that when he was a teen himself, and probably won't want to see it again. And he will also want someone who is mature enough to recognise that nobody is perfect, and who doesn't expect him to be perfect. (That doesn't mean you should accept anything a man does. You certainly should not. But a little tolerance goes a long way.) There is one other thing. Some men in that situation (not all) will worry that because of the age difference you might feel the need to have affairs with younger men. You will need to find a way to reassure him about that. (Or, if you do want to, and he's unusually broad-minded, you will need to work out arrangements that everyone is comfortable with.)

Does that help?

 

[Ferdinand Bardamu]

>When is a man in his prime (attractiveness or outer appearance like)?
20 to 30

 

[Myforevercharlie]

On the hand one could argument that it gets easier for men in an older age because the women also get older. I think this might be pretty offensive but many men worship young women. (In my opinion too much). I think simple biology is the reason behind that. Women lose the ability to reproduce and our neanderthal brains are programmed mostly by them. It is pretty superficial and shallow.

I've warned to stray neighbourhood cats I'm coming for them!!

I might hope that if I find someone insane enough to date me, he's beyond the age of wanting to reproduce

But seriously get of those well known dating apps. They're not good for someone's self esteem. Do you really think all those " beautiful people ' look like that on Monday morning? Hell no.

Not every female wants a guy who looks like Thor. Not only old girls like me, loads of younger females as well.

What are you looking for in a partner OP?
You are still very young...

There are more ways than shopping around / swiping till your fingers fall off on all those expensive apps.

What have you done until now to meet someone? And I don't mean on your appearance

 

[InAgony]

As a previous poster said, between the ages of 20-30 is the prime looks-wise, although it varies from person to person. I'm often attracted to older guys though, so just because a guy is past their prime, doesn't mean women won't be interested.

 

[DarkRange55]

I'm not sure but I think it's before 25? I heard that after 25, you start aging, so I guess your prime is your early to mid 20s. I think I'm attracted to people around my age, my crush was born in the same year as me (2000). Btw what about women? When do you think a woman is in her prime?

The production of collagen begins to slow so it's very important to use moisturizer.

 

[sserafim]

The production of collagen begins to slow so it's very important to use moisturizer.

What kind of moisturizer do you recommend?

 

[DarkRange55]

What kind of moisturizer do you recommend?

I personally really like Kiels but also "Clarins" it's French brand. The other one is German brand called "La Mer"
Might depend on skin type. All of those are pricy.

 

[sserafim]

I personally really like Kiels but also "Clarins" it's French brand. The other one is German brand called "La Mer"
Might depend on skin type. All of those are pricy.

Wait I thought La Mer was French lol. Thanks for the recs!

 

[DarkRange55]

I

Wait I thought La Mer was French lol. Thanks for the recs!

It was created by a German physicist and is now I believe owned by The Estée Lauder Companies Inc. which is a NYC-based company that was cofounded by a Hungarian-Jewish American woman. IIRC so double check that.

 

[noname223]

I've warned to stray neighbourhood cats I'm coming for them!!

I might hope that if I find someone insane enough to date me, he's beyond the age of wanting to reproduce

But seriously get of those well known dating apps. They're not good for someone's self esteem. Do you really think all those " beautiful people ' look like that on Monday morning? Hell no.

Not every female wants a guy who looks like Thor. Not only old girls like me, loads of younger females as well.

What are you looking for in a partner OP?
You are still very young...

There are more ways than shopping around / swiping till your fingers fall off on all those expensive apps.

What have you done until now to meet someone? And I don't mean on your appearance

I look for a honest, empathetic and understanding partner. Someone who is able to love and accept me despite my numerous flaws.
Interestingly I met a woman who might fit to this description in my self-help group recently. We seem to like each other.

I am not good at socializing and I do not meet new people very often. I don't do much for finding a partner admittedly.

Thanks for showing interest in my case.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I look for a honest, empathetic and understanding partner. Someone who is able to love and accept me despite my numerous flaws.
Interestingly I met a woman who might fit to this description in my self-help group recently. We seem to like each other.

I am not good at socializing and I do not meet new people very often. I don't do much for finding a partner admittedly.

Thanks for showing interest in my case.

Good for you! It's a start. I've always liked the getting to know a person who I thought could mean something more. As a partner or as a friend. Just enjoy it. If it's not the future mom of your children it's alright. Friendship is worth so much.

You seem like a decent young man, try to keep in mind that looks , yes they do count. But someone who likes / loves you just for being you won't care about your sixpack / fancy clothes etc.

Believe me, im old enough to know that its the heart that counts

 

[dragonofenvy]

Young men think only about sex.

Be careful using the word "only". Most young men I know do care a lot about sex, but the number one priority is having someone to spend time with. I would agree that they think about less things than older men and therefore the priority for sex is increased simply because there are fewer things to give priority and energy to.

 

[Linda]

Be careful using the word "only". Most young men I know do care a lot about sex, but the number one priority is having someone to spend time with. I would agree that they think about less things than older men and therefore the priority for sex is increased simply because there are fewer things to give priority and energy to.

Call it poetic license, or something like that. Yes, of course it's an exaggeration. But it contains more than a grain of truth, and it conveys the point I needed to make in my post.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

you'll be at your prime once you have confidence in yourself.

 

[d3ad]

Young men think only about sex. Older men think about sex too, but they also think about other things, such as companionship. So suppose an older man - let's say aged around 40 - was assessing you, what would he be looking for? He would certainly notice your looks. (He's a man, after all.) But he will probably have had previous relationships, so he will know that you can't build a successful relationship on sex alone. (I'm assuming he is assessing you as a potential partner, not a potential mistress, or one night thing.) He would want to know whether he feels comfortable with you, whether you and he have enough interests in common, and have sufficiently similar ways of looking at the world, for him to be happy having you around all the time. (That includes, but is not limited to, attitudes to things like religion, politics, having kids.) He is likely to be financially stable at age 40, and unless you are independently wealthy yourself, he will have more money than you. So he will watch closely how you spend your money, because he knows that if you become his partner you will finish up spending his money too. As far as money is concerned, you need to come across as sensible, and not someone who spends too freely. (If he is distinctly wealthy, he will fear that you are interested only in his money, not in him, and you will have to figure out a way of addressing his concerns on that.) He will also want someone who is at least reasonably mature emotionally - no teenage angst or that kind of thing. He will have seen enough of that when he was a teen himself, and probably won't want to see it again. And he will also want someone who is mature enough to recognise that nobody is perfect, and who doesn't expect him to be perfect. (That doesn't mean you should accept anything a man does. You certainly should not. But a little tolerance goes a long way.) There is one other thing. Some men in that situation (not all) will worry that because of the age difference you might feel the need to have affairs with younger men. You will need to find a way to reassure him about that. (Or, if you do want to, and he's unusually broad-minded, you will need to work out arrangements that everyone is comfortable with.)

Does that help?

Wow! This is so well-written and very detailed. Thank you SO much for taking the time and effort to write all of this. It is very informative, and gave me a clear and concise picture of what a relationship with an older guy would look like. It is exactly what I want. It would work for me because that is exactly the kind of a man I want, and I am able to do that for him as well. Thanks a lot for this . Are you a guy too? You seem very knowledgeable about this.