c1gm0mmy
puppdoesbiiteX3
- Jun 11, 2023
- 4
my bf left me day of our 3 months tg after talking for a year, my luggage got lost otw here and my old clothes just got stolen so ill have no clothes when i get home, i was trying to get back into school for my last year, i was trying to heal, things were getting good. then i crashed. it always happens, i shouldve expected it when life was feeling TOO perfect. now im stuck chainsmoking, and contemplating, what do i do when i go home? my ex told me he wanted to see me when i got home, that we'd do some day tripping tg and that i could relax. then he just drops out of nowhere that hes done? if he wasnt ready, why didnt he say it before now? i tried my best to not be so over the top w him. i never once said anything to hurt him because i was so careful not to let my brain take over when i was upset. he doesnt wanna miss out on me, and thinks im good for him, but how can i stay friends w someone im in love w? the cuddles, the soft 'good morning' kisses, wrapping ur arms around my waist and telling me 'thank you, hun' while i do chores when you dont even ask, sitting outside during cig breaks and just rambling to each other, the intimate moments we shared, the "i love you's" it all feels fake now, like a dream or that it was completely fabricated. he said he wasnt ready, but was that true? or did he just need a distraction? why make me feel special just to leave me suicidal again. you met me in my worse, you helped me learn things ab myself and i thought that would be good, but now the self awareness makes me 2x suicidal. so thx. glad to know im never gonna be loveable 
