Discussion When did you first realize how hard it is to ctb?

[Antigonish]

When I tried to slit my wrist and woke up 12 hours later. With my mind still on full blast. I realized then the location, the preparation, the people, etc.. None of it is comparable to the hardest part, which is dying. Two inches to the left, to shallow, the wrong mixture, or a loose knot. And you're still there trying to pick up the pieces (if you're not a vegetable) and trying to avoid the shame of scars that only fade but never go away, still dealing with the problems that lead you to your attempt in the first place. Atleast until you try again, I'm at #3 or #4, don't know. But I do know I live a little longer after each time, so if I keep failing I might die of old age. Gotta make my momma proud somehow.

 

[AprilsBlessings]

In 2018 when i tried the charcoal method (CO Poisoning) and i couldn't do it right

 

[Amandye13]

This year in august when I laid on the railway with my head on the track.

 

[FlyMe2TheMoon]

Trying to hang myself.
It didn't even work, but it was terrifying. Being about to die made me feel like a helpless child. I try not to remember it.

 

[violetsaturn]

For me, it was when I tried to ctb via car crash. I drove my car through an eight foot tall brick wall at a high speed and all I got was a concussion. Cars are a lot stronger than I realized...they make it look so easy to die in one on tv. Now I'm afraid to try with another car crash because I don't want to end up with debilitating disabilities like being paralyzed or becoming a vegetable. That fate would be much worse than being alive.

 

[Originaldon]

For me, it was when I tried to ctb via car crash. I drove my car through an eight foot tall brick wall at a high speed and all I got was a concussion. Cars are a lot stronger than I realized...they make it look so easy to die in one on tv. Now I'm afraid to try with another car crash because I don't want to end up with debilitating disabilities like being paralyzed or becoming a vegetable. That fate would be much worse than being alive.

Did the wall give way and you literally went through it?
You need it to stop you not cushion you like I would guess this did. Especially if you weren't wearing a seatbelt.

 

[Alcatraz_anthrax]

I have been attempting since I was a teen. Never worked. I did manage to cut myself deep enough for life long scars but not enough to CTB. People don't realise how difficult it is and it pisses me off when they pass it off like it's nothing.

 

[FuneralCry]

When I was very young, I always thought it was quite straightforward to take your life but when I became more suicidal, I started looking at methods and learned about the survival instinct then I realised that this is not easy. I tried to put a cord around my neck and it was really uncomfortable. If it was easy I would have been gone a long time ago.

 

[violetsaturn]

Did the wall give way and you literally went through it?
You need it to stop you not cushion you like I would guess this did. Especially if you weren't wearing a seatbelt.

Yeah I went completely through it. I was in a '93 steel jeep.

 

[Gl1tch3d G1rl]

Almost every of my attempts rly, SI always ruins it all. I wish I could turn it off somehow ngl. If only I had access to drugs lol.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It is pretty hard, it's weird how sometimes humans seems so hard to kill and other times so fragile.

For me I realized it after I tried to hang myself a year or so ago before I found SS and had no idea what I was doing. I just couldn't pass out and it made me really upset that I couldn't even die right.

I never realized how difficult it was.