When considering ctb, have you ever thought to look at your life as others would view it?

[Ambivalent1]

Over the years, I've disclosed bits of my life to people I've met. One said, "Why are you still alive?" and the other said, "People have killed themselves for much less." And that was just from telling them small bits. If I had told them the whole story, I'm sure they'd look at me with fascination and horror as they tried to make sense of a person willingly living despite experiencing horrible suffering for so long.

So in conclusion, I think many people would say to me, "I would personally kill myself in your situation." Whether or not their choice is right or wrong is subjective. Suffering is ongoing or at least the effects of having suffered are ongoing and one adapts, so to the one suffering it doesn't feel as unbearable as it would to someone who were to take on all your pain at once. They would be crushed by it and would have no choice but to off themselves. So I suppose the imaginings of another in regard to our suffering wouldn't reflect our actual reality thus making their opinion worthless.

 

[Darkover]

a sexless life was all i had to look forward to, repressed desire who wouldn't kill themselves at 18 knowing they would be sexually repressed all their lifetime

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No. Why would I care about what other people think about my life?

 

[Ambivalent1]

No. Why would I care about what other people think about my life?

In order to make a more informed decision. Do you never consult anyone when making a tough decision (outside of ctb)?

a sexless life was all i had to look forward to, repressed desire who wouldn't kill themselves at 18 knowing they would be sexually repressed all their lifetime

Many people don't have sex and live just fine. And the sex drive wanes as you age.

 

[Blank_Slate]

This illustrates how subjective all of this is. There is no pain or embarrassment or suffering great enough from stopping a person from enjoying their life, if that person happens to be in the subjective state of mind to keep on trucking.

Other people can't honestly give a completely and totally valid opinion on what they would do, because they've never experience it (unless they have, in which case fair).

If someone is making such comments to another person though - tbh they sound like dick heads and I'd probably rather not listen to them anyway.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No. It's not important how others view my life they didn't live it and they can't change it.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

In order to make a more informed decision. Do you never consult anyone when making a tough decision (besides ctb)?

I don't need other people's opinions to make an informed decision regarding how I view my life. Besides, their views are biased anyway as they believe in the sanctity of life. Not to mention at how I don't like the idea of participating in society to begin with so it feels hypothetical to ask society about my life. I don't need them to determine whether my life is worth living or not

When it comes to other decisions aside from thinking about ctb, I haven't really been in a situation where I had to make tough decisions as my parents basically made all of the decisions for me as they know, or think, that I'm unable to make my own decisions due to massive executive dysfunction caused by autism. And they'd be right for the most part as I always tend to mess things up when I'm left alone to do something new.

However, when it comes to the decision to conclude that my life isn't worth living, I am confident that this decision is the right one to make. I know I'm bad with making decisions overall but I'm confident that this decision of mine is the only good decision I'll ever make due to various things about my life

 

[Ambivalent1]

I don't need other people's opinions to make an informed decision regarding how I view my life. Besides, their views are biased anyway as they believe in the sanctity of life. Not to mention at how I don't like the idea of participating in society to begin with so it feels hypothetical to ask society about my life. I don't need them to determine whether my life is worth living or not

When it comes to other decisions aside from thinking about ctb, I haven't really been in a situation where I had to make tough decisions as my parents basically made all of the decisions for me as they know, or think, that I'm unable to make my own decisions due to massive executive dysfunction caused by autism. And they'd be right for the most part as I always tend to mess things up when I'm left alone to do something new.

However, when it comes to the decision to conclude that my life isn't worth living, I am confident that this decision is the right one to make. I know I'm bad with making decisions overall but I'm confident that this decision of mine is the only good decision I'll ever make due to various things about my life

That's interesting. I usually encounter people who would choose NOT to live if they were in my position. People are pro-life to a point and it also depends on who you would ask. I don't ask the pathologically optimistic what they would do if they were me because they would say that they'd live but they don't know what they're saying. They lack the required experience to make an informed decision, which I suppose ties into what I asked you.

Most people can't relate to being autistic so their answer to whether life is worth living as You doesn't matter.

 

[Blank_Slate]

a sexless life was all i had to look forward to, repressed desire who wouldn't kill themselves at 18 knowing they would be sexually repressed all their lifetime

I had a very long sexless spell when I was young also - made me feel like a very important aspect of myself was never going to receive validation, like I was never going to get to express romantic love or sexual energy in a meaningful way.

As it turns out, you'd be surprised how much love even an objectively ugly dude with no personality or money can get if you just give it time. My girlfriend is beautiful and she really loves me for me.

And tbh these days sex really doesn't seem very important it all. I'd go without it the rest of my life if you paid me enough.

 

[Darkover]

I had a very long sexless spell when I was young also - made me feel like a very important aspect of myself was never going to receive validation, like I was never going to get to express romantic love or sexual energy in a meaningful way.

As it turns out, you'd be surprised how much love even an objectively ugly dude with no personality or money can get if you just give it time. My girlfriend is beautiful and she really loves me for me.

And tbh these days sex really doesn't seem very important it all. I'd go without it the rest of my life if you paid me enough.

yeah well it's been 20 years without any loving for me chances of it ever turning around are zero

 

[Darkover]

You're clearly 20, and as a result, you should be saying that you've gone without for about 5 yrs. Did you expect to have sex when you were 10?

i am 38 years old

 

[Blank_Slate]

yeah well it's been 20 years without any loving for me chances of it ever turning around are zero

I'm 32 and 20 years are rookie numbers. Just so you know.

 

[sserafim]

Yay you changed your pfp to Light Yagami

 

[Darkover]

I'm 32 and 20 years are rookie numbers. Just so you know.

i am older than you i am 38 years old

 

[Ambivalent1]

i am 38 years old

Nevermind then

 

[sserafim]

a sexless life was all i had to look forward to, repressed desire who wouldn't kill themselves at 18 knowing they would be sexually repressed all their lifetime

I've never had sex at all, in my 23 years of existence, and I'm completely fine

 

[divinemistress36]

I've never had sex at all, in my 23 years of existence, and I'm completely fine

You aren't missing much

 

[willitpass]

No. It usually makes me feel worse. I have had people tell me it's amazing how put together I am with everything I've been through. I have an amazing job (as in I love it, not that it pays amazing), I'm doing very well at college, I have hobbies that people tell me I could turn into jobs I'm so good at them. I've lived on my own and been financially independent from a young age. You'd never be able to tell the absolute hell I'm living in. People envy what I have. If they spent a day inside of my head then maybe they would understand. Internally I'm in hell.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

That's interesting. I usually encounter people who would choose NOT to live if they were in my position. People are pro-life to a point and it also depends on who you would ask. I don't ask the pathologically optimistic what they would do if they were me because they would say that they'd live but they don't know what they're saying. They lack the required experience to make an informed decision, which I suppose ties into what I asked you.

Most people can't relate to being autistic so their answer to whether life is worth living as You doesn't matter.

Well said. Though I am curious as to what the hell happened in your life for even pro life people to say that they wouldn't live as you. Most people believe that they'd still enjoy living even if they had something severe. Like you said however, they don't really have the understanding of what it's like to live as me. I genuinely believe that most of them would be suicidal if they lived the life I did as their entire world would collapse.

Also, I wonder why you changed your profile. It's strange to see lumalee gone

I've never had sex at all, in my 23 years of existence, and I'm completely fine

Same here except my age is 5 years less