When are you the most suicidal ?

[XxEstenxX]

Around my birthday...

 

[thelostautistic]

For me it's the evenings I find hardest. To get through them I usually drink

 

[FuneralCry]

I always do, all I want is to never suffer in this torturous, dreadful and harmful existence ever again and I'll just always find it so terrible and dreadful to exist, for me every second is torture to suffer in this existence, for me ceasing to exist is the positive solution to find peace from the suffering, torture and evil of existing where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured and there's just so much evil in existing.

I'll just always see existence as the most dreadful, terrible mistake that just causes all this terrible, futile suffering, to suffer in this existence is just always an abomination to me and I find it so horrific how the suffering and torture of existing can continue for decades longer just for one to face the agony of old age. For me ceasing to exist is suffering prevention and all I want is to never suffer again, it's just so terrible to me how this existence was imposed, the existence of life is the most terrible, devastating tragedy that has only ever caused harm and tortured existing beings.

 

[itsgone2]

When I wake up every morning & realize yes, this is really happening, it's all gone wrong, and suicide is my only way out, it's just a question of when.

My greatest wish is to wake up and it was all just a nightmare. It's maddening

 

[SoulCage]

Mornings as well, because I usually wake up with pain and this feeling of pressure to be responsible and functioning another day.
Then I remember I can't CTB yet, because I am still not finished with making all the arrangements as well as this feeling of guilt (for potentially destroying the life of the one person who still gives a shit about me).

So I get up, go about my day and the pain gets weaker, but the tiredness I feel in the morning turns to overwhelming exhaustion, burnout feeling.
That's why the feeling of giving up gets stronger again in the evening. Because I am just so annoyed at myself that I keep enduring this shit. I distract myself with media and sasu until I fall asleep with the hope I don't wake up again.

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Around my birthday...

Also same. Wanted to CTB just before mine but got sectioned.

 

[Chairbed3]

At night before falling asleep. That's when my thoughts are naked. I spend the day doomscrolling and studying. Also, when my father talks to me about my situation. His words have a strange way of strangling any residual hope I have.

 

[whywere]

For me, it is when my chronic pain is really high and also under stress.

Walter

 

[darksouls]

when I hear or watch the news, the thought that humanity will continue to exist for a very long time and perpetrate its atroceties is unbearable for me

 

[Pipps]

Mine has been worsening lately and for some reason it gets worse as the day goes on. It's not only the depression but the awful physical pain I have to endure every day.

 

[mistercarrot1]

bad weather, when I have nothing to do, (not working so that's alot), early morning when I don't sleep well.

 

[Unlucky777]

Oh I don't know just about every day multiple times of the day.

I genuinely hate life.

 

[ropemaxxingorsmth]

sitting in bed in the middle of the night is the worst

 

[overmorrow]

looking at my body, it hurts

 

[itsgone2]

Weekends are stressful as they have the largest windows of opportunity. But it hits hard other times too.

 

[TomIsNotMyName]

Sometimes I get hooked on something (Game, TV Show, ...) that helps me distract from everything for a few days. I think I'm the most suicidal when I no longer have that distraction. I'm also very suicidal at the end of Vacation and on Sundays

 

[blooming]

Right now for multiple reasons. Uncertain housing situation and don't know what's gonna happen when April comes and lease is up, my birthday is in March and I feel like a failure because I'm struggling in so many when it comes to life that I'm like "what is there to even celebrate anymore?" I don't have anything I want and it's tearing me apart mentally.

Think I might throw in the towel by May at this rate. I've done everything I can to try to make things better and nothing helps.

 

[unluckysadness]

I'm the most suicidal when I wake up at nights and all my body is aching. And when I wake up in the morning it's probably worse because I realize that I must wake up for another shitty day full of physical and mental suffering. All the people who die from something else than suicide are "lucky" to me...

Sometimes I get hooked on something (Game, TV Show, ...) that helps me distract from everything for a few days. I think I'm the most suicidal when I no longer have that distraction. I'm also very suicidal at the end of Vacation and on Sundays

I feel you. Sundays are shit for me. I don't have a social life because of all my issues and when weekends are here, I know that normies do plenty things and I'm still alone in my apartment so I'm more suicidal.

 

[GyreOfAsh]

Hard to know since I haven't attempted yet. But since the debilitating nature of my condition is highly context dependent, I usually feel deeply depressed when a current circumstance is intolerable & those around me aren't making intentional efforts to avoid causing me more unnecessary suffering.

The suffering I feel from my extreme hypersensitivity to sound functions as an ethical meter. Since others can easily influence my suffering level simply by how loud they are, it forces a reveal of who is ethically consistent, who is situational, and who never cared in the first place. A person with my condition can easily distinguish the worst from the best of humanity in just a few seconds. More of a curse than a blessing though. I'm here because it's not a worthy tradeoff lol.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Alone in my room, which is just about all the time outside of work. During work hours I just focus on getting things done, like on autopilot, and free time I spend on here.

 

[Terrible_Life]

Alone in my room, which is just about all the time outside of work. During work hours I just focus on getting things done, like on autopilot, and free time I spend on here.

I am also right now in my room thinking about all my suffering and that suicide would end all and free me .

 

[23done]

Later in the day during/after work. When I am on vacation I am happy again

 

[Buñuelo]

When I talk with other people

 

[XdeadfaeX]

When I realize my everything meant nothing

 

[bakenohana]

I generally feel suicidal at all times but it hits harder when the distractions aren't working or remembering I have a body

 

[yume_]

When I messed something up ( I start to tell myself to kms )

 

[eyenumbing]

usually at night when i am trying to sleep

 

[ThunderBringer]

When I'm supposed to be happy and I simply can't. My life is already full of reasons to feel terrible, but when I'm hanging out with my girlfriend or my best friends or when I had an objectively good day yet I still can't FEEL anything from it? Yeah just kill me then because if the fleeting happy moments are sad then what's the point of sticking around for a better future

 

[blacksand]

Also, when my father talks to me about my situation. His words have a strange way of strangling any residual hope I have.

Same here but with my mom. Can't describe why but it just feels suffocating like she sees through any attempt at autonomy or agency and knows I'm a born fuckup who needs to accept his lot.

When I wake up every morning & realize yes, this is really happening, it's all gone wrong, and suicide is my only way out, it's just a question of when.

Gave me chills with how accurate this is.

 

[AlTheObviousAlien]

When I'm actively with a group of people. Genuinely, I can not function, I just want to be alone and left alone. If I could live my life as air or water I would...as least then I'd go with the flow.

Also, when my father talks to me about my situation. His words have a strange way of strangling any residual hope I have.

Wow I just felt this from a coworker.