Whats your reasons for thinking of suicide?

[Azizw126]

Major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, chronic fatigue syndrome, sexual orientation and being away from my country for 4 years without any family members or real friends and can't go back because I'm refugee

 

[Shinbu]

I've had the desire to end my own life since I went thought childhood abuse and I haven't been able to be happy or it just took to much effort to stay happy.
I came across the antinatalism philosophy not knowing there was a term for something I've always felt and it validated my reasons for wanting to end my own life.

I been through childhood abuse too. My step dad has once abandoned us, and left us to starve without a car. He went drinking for a few days. That guy is in prison asking for forgiveness through letters of all the horrible things he done to me, and to the family. I witness seeing my mom hair pulled, and be dragged outside from the drunkard who calls himself my dad at an early age. I even fought my step dad to protect my mom countless times. The last time he was sober he said to my mom he had a nightmare that I killed him in his sleep. That was when my mom decided to leave him for good. He was abusive as a father, and always on drugs, and drunk. He was good at one point but when he turned to drugs, and alcohol he turned bad. He says he loves me through letters. What he showned me was not love during his fuckups. He turned for the worst when his mom died. He came up on the news. Footage of him running away from the cops , and
he ditched the vehicle, and ran into someone back yard hiding then got caught according to the details no footage was shown of that. Just a vehicle chase was shown.

 

[Farmmaa]

My reasons - OK, how much time have you all got ??

Although I've had my share of crap dealt to me in my past, I can't blame it on my childhood. My childhood was pretty good actually.
I got through one ugly divorce from an abusive drug addict in my early 20s and went on to live a happy and fulfilling life for the next 20+ years.
It was after number 2 had an affair for two years that I became the angry, bitter, depressed shell I am now.
I moved back to my home town almost 10 years ago to get away from all of it - and had to leave behind my kids. The youngest was 14.

I have struggled for the past decade. I've spent every birthday, holiday and special occasion alone... just me and my pup. I pathetically make myself a small turkey dinner every Christmas and cry all day.
Financially, ugh. I have struggled every day for 10 years to make ends meet. I've had to ask my dad and my own kids for help paying rent more times than I can count. My job is seasonal, so right now, I have less than $100 to my name and my credit cards are all 3 payments behind.

I had to have emergency surgery in 2011 that has left me with nerve damage in my hands and constant, stabbing pain in my neck. It then leads to almost daily migraines. I have severe IBS. So... physical pain every day of my life. Despite that, I push through and work a very physical job because it's what I enjoy and , really, all I've ever done.

Four years ago I watched my mother slowly die a horrible, agonizing death. Two years ago I lost my only brother and young niece in a tragic accident. This summer I lost my beautiful pup and best friend to cancer. She was the only thing keeping me going day to day.

Two years ago I made my final move to a house and property that was supposed to be for as long as I wanted and would allow me to start my own business and try to get ahead. I borrowed money from a friend to get it up and running, spent two years working my ass off to build, paint, renovate, improve, plant, landscape.... only to come home last month to an eviction notice. They want double what I'm paying now for the house and land. Illegal... yes, I know. I had a landlord pull an illegal eviction on me four years ago as well - so I know my rights. I also know how stressful and miserable life is when you're living somewhere that you're not wanted.

So.... Now I have my life savings and thousands of dollars in borrowed money tied up into a place I can no longer stay... and I have no where to go. I am so far in debt that there is simply no way out - ever. I have to leave my phone on silence because I'm now back to phone calls all day every day from collection agencies.

I'm just done. Done with life being such a bloody struggle. Done with the stress and weight of debt and financial problems. Done with constant pain. Just done... tired of this life.

 

[MissNietzsche]

I'm fat and ugly and tired of my eating disorder and if I can't find the hyper-monogamous, romantic love I've always wanted, I don't want to live. There's no point. The universe is objectively meaningless, and while love would at least make it tolerable, I have no obligation not to speed up my inevitable non-existence.

One day, the universe will collapse, and everything will be for not.

 

[ronigail9]

knowing that I have lived my life to its fullest (my life peaked many years ago)

My situation is opposite, I had a difficult childhood, worse adolescence and then even worse adulthood. There was only even a good couple years of my adulthood. Now I am 29 and don't see the point to anything anymore, yet here we both are from very different circumstances!

 

[MissNietzsche]

My situation is opposite, I had a difficult childhood, worse adolescence and then even worse adulthood. There was only even a good couple years of my adulthood. Now I am 29 and don't see the point to anything anymore, yet here we both are from very different circumstances!

same..if I get several years older with no progress, I'm choosing the same thing you are.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

My situation is opposite, I had a difficult childhood, worse adolescence and then even worse adulthood. There was only even a good couple years of my adulthood. Now I am 29 and don't see the point to anything anymore, yet here we both are from very different circumstances!

I am sad to hear that every child should have a good childhood it´s only 11 years of our lives it isn´t too much to ask <3

 

[Societal_Failure]

>indian
>5'5
>poor
>in the west

 

[Thisisme]

Being at the mercy of my physical body and not wanting others to have control over me.

 

[mathieu]

The conditions I suffer from prevent me from doing what I want to do in life (study, work) and I am very lonely (no social life, live alone). I don't want to grow old poor and alone as I am now.

 

[astro]

I went from being the happiest and potentially smartest person in my class to struggling with simple arithmetics. Also I'm not that afraid of dying as I hold a strong belief that there will be some form of afterlife.

 

[chris8000]

Relentless chronic pain for 5 years, tried loads of conventional and alternative therapies. Even things I thought were probably crazy like an energy healer and some Amazonian frog was injected into me by a shaman guy with a funny hat. Can't say I recommend frog therapy, but generally medicinal herbs are useful and very under rated.

I think you really need to feel you've exhausted all your options when you come here.

 

[astro]

Relentless chronic pain for 5 years, tried loads of conventional and alternative therapies. Even things I thought were probably crazy like an energy healer and some Amazonian frog was injected into me by a shaman guy with a funny hat. Can't say I recommend frog therapy, but generally medicinal herbs are useful and very under rated.

I think you really need to feel you've exhausted all your options when you come here.

Sorry to hear that. I don't think you have to have exhausted all your options when you come here. I would argue in certain cases of mental illness the dissappointing long-term prognosis is what makes people want to suicide. I am far from having exhausted all of my options.

 

[chris8000]

Sorry to hear that. I don't think you have to have exhausted all your options when you come here. I would argue in certain cases of mental illness the dissappointing long-term prognosis is what makes people want to suicide. I am far from having exhausted all of my options.

I don't know about you and your condition, I really couldn't judge.

I was just making the point, if you have any reasonable options left, I personally would try them before killing yourself. Because I have been stuck in my 20s with serious depression and psychosis and I battled my way back over a number of years with meditation to a good quality life and marriage. This was well worth it.

Even with, for example, major depression, there are newer options coming through like ayahuasca or ketamine, which can take some one who has been suffering 10 years and turn around their life for the better. Some of these more unconventional treatments can work and work well.

 

[skyrat]

I ruined the only genuinely close relationship I've had with another human in the past half decade. Broke it beyond repair and deeply hurt the other person, entirely due to my own actions. It's not the first time it's happened.

I know that I'd just end up doing the same thing again, even if I stuck around and managed to forge a meaningful bond with someone else.

So I guess I'm here because I don't want to break anything else.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Health issues. Chronic pain etc

 

[Konolomn]

Depression
Depression
Depression
Anxiety

 

[afternoon-exit]

I'm in my 20's and I have social anxiety, depression. Plus feeling inferior, lonely. Feeling like nobody likes you or cares about you, juggling between sobriety and addiction will all put some stress on you and make you feel like this life is really not worth living. I even have a decent bank account and a roof over my head, but I'm still fucking miserable. It's kinda sad, because when I was younger (in my high school years), I was so optimistic about my future. I wanted to be a writer or a music producer, but I've lost sight of all that and now I simply just don't want to live anymore

 

[TAW122]

I have so many reasons, into many different categories and it would be a long laundry list of them, so I'll just list some general categories of which my reasons fall into. These categories are: personal and philosophical, society and world at large, and of course, my unwillingness to accept the brutal reality in which I am a part of.

 

[CSSLAVE]

Depression
$2200 per month child support payment from a one night stand
Chronic pain

 

[JGT]

d rather die with the painful truth than live a lie like the rest of the billions of miserable people on this planet deluding themselves into thinking life is great.

Yes very true!

 

[Rn110bg101]

Not being able to go back
Impossible to reprogram myself
Garbage world
and some other things

 

[Darrenloses]

trauma from stuff that occurred 8-11 years ago

 

[Polly]

No job no money death on the streets waiting fir me

 

[Jeff_The_Cursed]

None of us get to choose whether we are born, or the circumstances we will be born into.

The longer I live, the more I realize that my parents absolutely should NOT have had a kid, but my reasons for saying this are more numerous than can be stated in a single thread.

Let's just say that suicide is the reversal of a birth that should never have been.

 

[so tired or manic]

right now it's because it's so fucking humid.

I don't have one solid reason, it's more an impulse thought to just about everything.

 

[Anotheryou]

My spouse hates me. He is belligerent and thinks I'm stupid. I have no where productive to go. There is no path to achieve happiness now. I've not figured out what to do with my life outside of his care. I make decisions to a detriment to both of us. I'm seemingly incompetent enough to not find happiness.
My parents don't support me. My spouse is the reason I'm in college or found any happiness. I'm co dependent with no support now.

The list goes on.

 

[Nymph]

I'm lazy, no motivation, no will, no strength, disgusting world led by greed and money