What's Your Reason for Staying Alive?

[Quinlor]

I don't have any reason, I just don't get escape from my self...

 

[samsaragothands]

my family just went through a stressful relocation and i want to give them time to settle down and make friends and ultimately develop a real support system before i do something that will affect them forever. i want to make sure they're in a comfortable enough place to where something traumatic won't completely tear them apart; truthfully, some days i think i'm being incredibly naive, but i don't really know what else i can be doing.

and it's tricky-- i'm often terrified that by being too encouraging or available for them now, i'm going to make it harder for them when i pass. but i also wouldn't be able to pass without knowing they were going to be okay, or without at least opening an avenue to cope with their loss in a healthy way.

ultimately, i'm still alive for them. i want my last days with them to be meaningful. i also want to finish season 2 of gossip girl

 

[Pallf]

i also want to finish season 2 of gossip girl

Unironically a good reason to stay alive.

 

[TheUnkn0wn]

Honestly I don't have much keeping me alive right now. The majority of my family passed away, most of my friends stepped away once my mental health turned for the worst, and I'm not fighting to keep my job.

Only thing keeping me a live per say is that all my previous suicide attempts failed. I should've passed on my most recent attempt, but got extremely "lucky" and survived. I'd CTB in a heartbeat if I had N

 

[diphylleia_Grayi]

1. don't wanna hurt my mom
2. i fear what's gonna happen after i die, i hope it's all just nothingness but i grew up in religion so it's hard to believe that
3. survival instinct

 

[Callie Arcale]

Survival instinct, I guess. Or maybe what I call survival instinct is actually an overwhelming fear. Because that is what I felt when I did my first (and only) attempt. Fear. Immense fear.

But I'm all right now… I no longer lament my lack of courage.

I know death will come find me, sooner or later. It's the only certainty I have in life. I just have to sit here quietly and endure the pain until that old joker knocks at my door.

 

[narval]

Fear of death in one hand, chance (only chance) to get work in august/september in the other

ATM that's only a temporary truce between myy death thoughts and me. Let's see what happens. I'm scared :(

 

[Luchs]

I guess that I am still living out of spite. It feels like this world was designed to make me crumble, so I fight on to achieve my dreams, in the first place BECAUSE the world is seemingly trying to fuck me over. I can relate to OP in the sense that I want to have kids to pass my stuff, heritage and family legacy onto.

 

[lofticries]

Parents because of ones mental well being and the others rep in front of family.

Also finally gaining some independence and maybe self acceptance. Those have always been the two things I've desired for the longest. If I can gain that even for a little while then I can truly die happy.

 

[tabletop]

Even though I hate the question. I do love this thread.

I don't like this question cause mental health professionals stress that you do answer this question. Ant the more I think about it I realize I don't truly have a reason to live. Like the question I feel encourages me to think more about suicide when the more I think about I don't truly have a reason.

But still here cause mostly survival instinct, fear maybe, cause they tell me I'm not supposed to kill myself, and maybe cause I'm starting to change my focus to just plain looking forward to a natural death instead. I mean I'm halfway through life. And that's the long half I think. I mean as ya get older time goes quicker. So I'm kinda more than half through. At least the last half won't seem as long as the first.

I don't know. Frankly I just don't know how to answer this question honestly.

 

[lugerepair]

Things keeping me alive:

Suicide is hard, logistically speaking and also psychologically speaking
My family and friends would be sad
I'm kinda curious to see what crazy shit will happen next in this fucked up world
Things might conceivably get better for me
I have some limited usefulness to people in my community
I'm not that depressed, most of the time. I mean, I think that life is objectively shitty and it would have been preferable for me to never have been born, but I don't experience enough pain consistently enough to go through with suicide...at least right now. That might change. In fact it's highly likely that it will. I do intend to leave this world on my own terms if at all possible.

 

[whywere]

I have a long list of places on Earth that I want to visit and because of covid, everything has ground to a halt. Walter

 

[siff]

My family and the ones I love

 

[HiImPaul]

My parents and siblings mostly. I can't really see a future for myself where I'm happy or at the very least content. But they would all be traumatized. Oh and SI of course. Not sure how long I can hold on for them though. Everyday is just so hard.

 

[nightnightnitrite]

I just want to start off and say I'm proud of you! My child is what's keeping me alive right now. I am in no way completely better but it's definitely helped. I don't think I'm a bad mom either for the state of mind I was in a year ago. My son is an extremely happy baby and I tend to keep him that way. I thought I was going to have postpartum depression but he's honestly started to cure my depression. I hope I can make him proud to call me his mom. I'm also ready for whenever(if ever) he gets depression. I want to be there for him like my late father was for me.

 

[FromGermany]

My dogs.

 

[Labean]

Жена ушла от меня, пока я работаю в другой стране. Возвращаться некуда, она живет с ним в моей квартире, дочка почти выросла, сын взрослый, только наличие зп.

 

[AtMostOkay]

My children. That's it. Used up, rejected and exhausted.

 

[whywere]

I just want to start off and say I'm proud of you! My child is what's keeping me alive right now. I am in no way completely better but it's definitely helped. I don't think I'm a bad mom either for the state of mind I was in a year ago. My son is an extremely happy baby and I tend to keep him that way. I thought I was going to have postpartum depression but he's honestly started to cure my depression. I hope I can make him proud to call me his mom. I'm also ready for whenever(if ever) he gets depression. I want to be there for him like my late father was for me.

You are a fantastic person!! Reading your post 100% made my Sunday as you are just so thoughtful, kind and forward thinking. I know my stupid opinion but, hey!, I am entitled to my thoughts, correct!

I try not to be nosey, but reading your post just warmed my heart and made the world so right at least for a time and I thank you for that

Thank you so much for brightening my day and week and take great care of yourself.

Walter

 

[Pallf]

We love ya Walt.

I'm staying alive right now because I still have some fleeting hope that life will somehow get better. Maybe I'll actually hit it off with a real human being in real life.

 

[whywere]

We love ya Walt.

I'm staying alive right now because I still have some fleeting hope that life will somehow get better. Maybe I'll actually hit it off with a real human being in real life.

Thank you so much!! I love you too and everyone here. We are like a family to me that I never had, and it is awesome. You are a loving and caring soul, your post says that loud and clear and folks like you deserve the best and I will bet, from my life's experiences, that you will not only find but blossom with a great person down the road.

I 100% believe in YOU!!

Sending you lots of huge hugs and love!!

Walter

 

[lifecouldbedream]

Fear that suicide isn't the end

Wanting to explore the far reaches of the psychadelic experience

My family would be pretty fucked up if I went

 

[motel rooms]

Possibly, maybe, probably love
Possibly, maybe, probably love

Uncertainty excites me, babe
Who knows what's going to happen?
Lottery or car crash
Or you'll join a cult

Electric shocks? I love them!
With you, a dozen a day

Possibly, maybe, probably love
Possibly...

 

[whywere]

Possibly, maybe, probably love
Possibly, maybe, probably love

Uncertainty excites me, babe
Who knows what's going to happen?
Lottery or car crash
Or you'll join a cult

Electric shocks? I love them!
With you, a dozen a day

Possibly, maybe, probably love
Possibly...

Thank you so much for posting such a awesome song!! You are brilliant!

Have a great week,

Walter

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Family, mainly my dad.

 

[callme]

A song

 

[MeltedJello]

Rarely getting any chances to ctb. If I had opportunities everyday, then I would probably be staying for my mom; at least until she dies. She really is kind & caring, but she just doesn't understand me well enough. Wished she could accept that I will eventually kill myself.

 

[peach75]

sex

 

[avoid_slow_death]

The upcoming Holidays. Was going to do it earlier this year, but, was convinced/wanted to spend some last time withmy family before I go. Other than that, I truly have nothing keeping me here and I honestly doubt anyone is going to miss me much.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I'm still clinging on to some faint, farfetched hope. If I'm let down again then I suppose my time has finally come. Until then, I'll be sticking around.