What's wrong with wanting attention?

[MiMif]

The title.

I go on gore sites often to overcome SI and I often stumble upon cutting videos and suicide videos.
The comment section for all of these yell at the people and say they're better off dead and that theyre all attention seekers. Though I won't lie I've mostly noticed this for the woman.

I saw a video of a woman jumping from a building and the title was
"Fat bitch kills herself by jumping."

The comments were laughing. However when I saw a video of a guy doing it people in the comments were sympathetic.

Same thing with cutting videos. When a woman does it everyone in the comments usually attacks them and calls them attention seeking. For male cutting videos people usually are also sympathetic. It's kinda weird. Not saying guys don't face the problem of being labeled attention seeking. This actually was originally not supposed to even be about the difference with genders it just came to mind.


But back to the title...like what's wrong with wanting attention?I'm sure a lot of people on here have been called attention seeking once they were found out to be suicidal by family and friends.

But I don't really see the problem with it to be honest. It's not like anyone wants to be all alone in the world...lots of people thrive with the communication and attention they receive from others.

I wouldn't personally label myself as attention seeking as I tend to not talk about my problems and whenever someone approaches me about my problems I change the subject.

However even then I get a bit sad when someone completly ignores me and acts like they didn't see my cuts or notice me standing at the edge of a building the few times I hang out with them. I don't specifically search for it but a part inside of me craves it. Though when someone does pay attention I end up not wanting it.

I don't see the problem of being attention seeking. I feel like everyone alive is to some extent.

 

[struggles_inc]

I would not recommend visiting such websites because the audience is mostly people with suppressed sadism and fetishes. Trying to rationalise this community is like cracking down a death cult. They probably masturbate while they type, there is no logic to it.

There is nothing wrong with wanting attention. I feel very sorry for people whose sufferings are discussed on such pages, as their memory is soiled with indignity.

 

[MiMif]

I would not recommend visiting such websites because the audience is mostly people with suppressed sadism and fetishes. Trying to rationalise this community is like cracking down a death cult. They probably masturbate while they type, there is no logic to it.

There is nothing wrong with wanting attention. I feel very sorry for people whose sufferings are discussed on such pages, as their memory is soiled with indignity.

Yeah I don't enjoy watching gore or going on such sites. But it helps with my SI and helps me research methods.

The comment section disgusts me tho

 

[Life_and_Death]

im not saying anything is wrong with wanting attention to a degree, but theres doing it specifically for attention in a manipulative type way vs a suicidal type way, which is what i feel/thought the mean people typically always assumed.

and even the suicidal way on its own is unhealthy and personally shouldnt be looked at as a positive thing. theres better ways to get attention, like being nice.

 

[sserafim]

"You got me looking for attentionnn"
"A-t-t-e-n-t-i-on attention is what I want"

Maybe there's someone they want to appeal to? Or they want to be valued and feel important? Idk

 

[R_N]

Years ago I watched a few videos on said sites, people were vile then just as much. It is not a place to find empathy in people. Sometimes it makes me angry how people online can get away acting like that. If only they could end up the same as people they laugh at.

 

[MiMif]

im not saying anything is wrong with wanting attention to a degree, but theres doing it specifically for attention in a manipulative type way vs a suicidal type way, which is what i feel/thought the mean people typically always assumed.

and even the suicidal way on its own is unhealthy and personally shouldnt be looked at as a positive thing. theres better ways to get attention, like being nice.

I feel like very few people do that honestly. And if they do that they need mental help anyway.

Throughout my teen years I honestly thought I was being edgy and kept questioning if I was actually suicidal or faking it. It was hell...my parents specifically my dad kept saying it's all in my head and to not let the devils thoughts get in my head and know which thoughts were mine.


Yeah I'm older now and it's honestly dumb AF. But questioning if your only suicidal for attention is a living hell and I feel like people who label others as such without even knowing them honestly make it harder. Even if they are doing it simply for attention their has to be a reason for it

 

[kawaiiphantom]

I would not recommend visiting such websites because the audience is mostly people with suppressed sadism and fetishes. Trying to rationalise this community is like cracking down a death cult. They probably masturbate while they type, there is no logic to it.

There is nothing wrong with wanting attention. I feel very sorry for people whose sufferings are discussed on such pages, as their memory is soiled with indignity.

Some of the comments I've seen on those sites before are so vile sometimes they make me feel sick. There is also a lot of transphobia :[ it's disgusting what some of the people say on them

 

[MiMif]

Some of the comments I've seen on those sites before are so vile sometimes they make me feel sick. There is also a lot of transphobia :[ it's disgusting what some of the people say on them

Honestly..how on earth can someone relish in the pain of others

 

[0000000000000]

I don't know, maybe some people 'want attention' because they feel abandoned and they try to 'fill' that abandonment by trying to be recognized by others even if it's in the way you describe in your post.

I don't think it's bad.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

i think it's bc usually ppl seek attention w unsavory methods that make them come off as disingenuous/fake, when they could've just said 'hey im lonely & want some1 to talk to'. & due to the unsavory method they used, ppl view them as not really needing help as well, just attention.

kinda like when some1's on their phone & they gasp or laugh obnoxiously loud just so you'll ask, 'what is it?', when they could just show u if they want u to see. i go out of my way to not entertain/engage w them.

 

[druggedonsurvival]

I don't think people who resort to suicide are looking for attention. That implies they have something to live for. And no, like you said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting attention. Of course people who are undergoing the kind of pain that would lead them to such an end want attention... how else could you get help? What most people don't understand is that many suicidal people actively try to avoid attention because of what might happen if people found out, or for a plethora of other reasons.

 

[DreamEnd]

The title.

I go on gore sites often to overcome SI and I often stumble upon cutting videos and suicide videos.
The comment section for all of these yell at the people and say they're better off dead and that theyre all attention seekers. Though I won't lie I've mostly noticed this for the woman.

I saw a video of a woman jumping from a building and the title was
"Fat bitch kills herself by jumping."

The comments were laughing. However when I saw a video of a guy doing it people in the comments were sympathetic.

Same thing with cutting videos. When a woman does it everyone in the comments usually attacks them and calls them attention seeking. For male cutting videos people usually are also sympathetic. It's kinda weird. Not saying guys don't face the problem of being labeled attention seeking. This actually was originally not supposed to even be about the difference with genders it just came to mind.


But back to the title...like what's wrong with wanting attention?I'm sure a lot of people on here have been called attention seeking once they were found out to be suicidal by family and friends.

But I don't really see the problem with it to be honest. It's not like anyone wants to be all alone in the world...lots of people thrive with the communication and attention they receive from others.

I wouldn't personally label myself as attention seeking as I tend to not talk about my problems and whenever someone approaches me about my problems I change the subject.

However even then I get a bit sad when someone completly ignores me and acts like they didn't see my cuts or notice me standing at the edge of a building the few times I hang out with them. I don't specifically search for it but a part inside of me craves it. Though when someone does pay attention I end up not wanting it.

I don't see the problem of being attention seeking. I feel like everyone alive is to some extent.

people on those websites are mostly incels

 

[26mmmm]

The title.

I go on gore sites often to overcome SI and I often stumble upon cutting videos and suicide videos.
The comment section for all of these yell at the people and say they're better off dead and that theyre all attention seekers. Though I won't lie I've mostly noticed this for the woman.

I saw a video of a woman jumping from a building and the title was
"Fat bitch kills herself by jumping."

The comments were laughing. However when I saw a video of a guy doing it people in the comments were sympathetic.

Same thing with cutting videos. When a woman does it everyone in the comments usually attacks them and calls them attention seeking. For male cutting videos people usually are also sympathetic. It's kinda weird. Not saying guys don't face the problem of being labeled attention seeking. This actually was originally not supposed to even be about the difference with genders it just came to mind.


But back to the title...like what's wrong with wanting attention?I'm sure a lot of people on here have been called attention seeking once they were found out to be suicidal by family and friends.

But I don't really see the problem with it to be honest. It's not like anyone wants to be all alone in the world...lots of people thrive with the communication and attention they receive from others.

I wouldn't personally label myself as attention seeking as I tend to not talk about my problems and whenever someone approaches me about my problems I change the subject.

However even then I get a bit sad when someone completly ignores me and acts like they didn't see my cuts or notice me standing at the edge of a building the few times I hang out with them. I don't specifically search for it but a part inside of me craves it. Though when someone does pay attention I end up not wanting it.

I don't see the problem of being attention seeking. I feel like everyone alive is to some extent.

I feel like there are two types of people to seek attention regarding mental health issues - those that seek attention to get help and those that seek attention to be treated specially because mental illnesses are appealing nowadays for some reason.
Those people that seek attention to be treated specially are just a burden and set a bad reputation to those who actually suffer from mental issues.

 

[underthedatetree]

It doesn't make sense to me either think about in 100 years everyone alive right now will be dead and very very very few will be marked in the history books, no one will ever pay any mind about your life again. If you want attention in this life its fine to just get it. People just get so angry and vile at others for wanting things

 

[Forever Sleep]

I imagine quite a big proportion of people on those gore sites are men who feel hatred and violence towards women- I imagine it draws sadists there as well as people wanting to view that stuff for cathartic/ research reasons. So- those comments don't suprise me at all.

Regarding being attention seeking- there's this weird irony in society. You get someone kill themselves and everyone will be wailing: 'Why didn't they reach out?' But if someone does it too much and too often- they're labelled as 'attention seeking'. It is so dumb because in a way- yes- they may well be trying to get your attention! I thought you said you wanted a warning before someone kills themselves?

I suppose it comes down to weakness perhaps. We're animals at the end of the day. When animals are sick, they'll often try to hide themselves away. Obviously, to avoid predators but- they sometimes need to hide from their own kind! You see it in troops of monkeys sometimes. They will sometimes turn on, bully and even kill a member who appears injured or weak.

I think maybe just instinctively, we don't like weakness being displayed publicly. I imagine it's the same reason disabled people sometimes get victimised. I'd argue- we have to be taught to be kind to people who are different or disabled. Maybe not always but sometimes, kids in particular will single them out to be picked on. I just think people who continue to do that into adulthood haven't matured or, been taught to act decently towards other human beings.

It maybe gives them a sense of superiority too. 'I can handle my problems without falling apart' type thing. They maybe feel even more superior when they take the piss out of them and all their online buddies laugh and like their comments. Plus- if they're sadists/ sexual sadists- they likely get off on other people's suffering.

 

[SexyIncél]

Calling someone an attention-seeker is an insult that always works, because that's exactly what happens when we plug into a group. Attention is probably the basis of all social interaction

They went out of their way to pay attention to an attention-whore. And got off on the idea that she seeked their attention. Dysfunctional relationship style #38293

"Fat bitch kills herself by jumping."

The comments were laughing. However when I saw a video of a guy doing it people in the comments were sympathetic.

Same thing with cutting videos. When a woman does it everyone in the comments usually attacks them and calls them attention seeking. For male cutting videos people usually are also sympathetic. It's kinda weird. Not saying guys don't face the problem of being labeled attention seeking. This actually was originally not supposed to even be about the difference with genders it just came to mind.

Well... 5,000 years ago, there were worldwide men's movements that greatly emphasized hierarchy... :P

So what's happening? A subset of viewers puts her down even as she serves them pleasure. Distances themselves from the spectacle & says they're above watching it — and yet compulsively do it

On the other hand! Many mothers trained such sons to dominate, and many women demand a powerful man. (Apparently 60% of women have the submissive kink, and I'm sure many gals here asked their guy to call her a "dumb bitch" or similar during intercourse)

So I guess one possibility is that they're practicing their social roles, building their proper attitudes

 

[MiMif]

Calling someone an attention-seeker is an insult that always works, because that's exactly what happens when we plug into a group. Attention is probably the basis of all social interaction

They went out of their way to pay attention to an attention-whore. And got off on the idea that she seeked their attention. Dysfunctional relationship style #38293


Well... 5,000 years ago, there were worldwide men's movements that greatly emphasized hierarchy... :P

So what's happening? A subset of viewers puts her down even as she serves them pleasure. Distances themselves from the spectacle & says they're above watching it — and yet compulsively do it

On the other hand! Many mothers trained such sons to dominate, and many women demand a powerful man. (Apparently 60% of women have the submissive kink, and I'm sure many gals here asked their guy to call her a "dumb bitch" or similar during intercourse)

So I guess one possibility is that they're practicing their social roles, building their proper attitudes

Not sure I agree with everything you said but thanks for the input.

Honestly relationships seem like a bother to me ..maybe it's because I was raised in a dysfunctional family but I don't see anything good in getting a partner for life.
I feel you'll get bored of them...or they'll know all of the bad parts of me and I don't want that. I'ma be single for life no doubt I can't open up to anyone and I don't want to open up to anyone.


Also not very sure of your statistics but I don't feel like looking into it so I'll take your word for it. Though I don't think many people would ask their significant other to call them a "dumb bitch"

That might just be me though...I suck at human Interaction so i wouldn't know

 

[SexyIncél]

Also not very sure of your statistics but I don't feel like looking into it so I'll take your word for it. Though I don't think many people would ask their significant other to call them a "dumb bitch"

Entirely understandable to be skeptical about this, if it's outside your daily experience!

Yeah, anyway I said it's only during intercourse. One way to think about it: art is a space of transgression. The bed's a stage, where people explore social/psychological relations. Replaying lurid scenarios, like in dreams

(Not "tab A goes into slot B, let's make a baby". Not even in Germany)

She can flip, too — desiring a power fantasy where she seduces a resisting guy, cucking his gf

So when a gal asks to be called a "dumb slut" during emotional performances, she's in effect saying "Please manage the complexity, releasing my burden of conscious thought". I have a whole theory of sex about stuff like this. Furthermore — observing neuroatypicals, I increasingly suspect that conscious thought leads to suffering

Personally, I don't feel biased towards such things; I'm also fine unleashing my inner goofball

---

And there's tons of dark urges we don't admit. As you may know, probably half of mothers get the urge the dash their babies' skulls against the wall

I talked with a new mom, who escaped the house for a few hours. She started virtue-signaling about how much she missed her baby. But I told her of a mutual friend's baby-killing fantasies. Immediately, she poured forth her guilt to us, knowing we'd understand

And it's entirely logical — adults seem wired to do anything to silence a crying baby. Note all the virtue-signaling in the recent suicide 'n homicide thread. No wonder mothers can't admit their maddening truth. Would shatter their reputations, maybe lose their baby. People don't wanna listen

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I wouldn't give much attention to comments bc the actual reasons why someone does sth specifically is unknown in this case and people comment/write a lot of "bs" when they have nothing else to do. Why would someone seek attention? maybe as a cry for help? Maybe bc they don't want to be alone? There're many other things I can think of why someone seeks attention. We humans are social creatures not hermits.

 

[d3ad]

I don't know, maybe some people 'want attention' because they feel abandoned and they try to 'fill' that abandonment by trying to be recognized by others even if it's in the way you describe in your post.

I don't think it's bad.

That's how it is in my case.

 

[KafkaF]

Well, two things:
1. The people who say the "attention seekers" thing don't know shit about suicide and depression.
2. Yeah, you're right. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being in a bad place and wanting attention. In a decent world with decent people a cry for attention would result in love and care, not mockery. And that might actually help them get through bad times. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone to lean on in hard times. Unfortunately many people (I'd guess especially those on these kinds of websites, sorry OP, not necessarily you) lack empathy and are insensitive pieces of trash instead.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

"Because if anyone gets some attention, that takes it away from me!"

-The people who probably get upset when someone's getting attention.