What's wrong with me? Help

[Mitsumi]

I'd rather be lost in the wilderness with cannibal lesbians (understanders will understand) than be like this.
I met with the love of my life again tonight. I hadn't seen him in a long time. I thought it was going to make me feel alive but... I don't know. I felt good in the moment. Now I just feel like I'm not even here. He tells me that he loves me but I know that's not true. I just feel it. I think what I really like it's the idea of him, the romanticizing, the daydreaming, what he achieved, the idealization.
I bet I'm not making any sense.
I'm drank a little when I got home, sorry not sorry.
It felt wonderful for an instant.
Reality pushed me back.
I don't even know why I'm writing here anymore.

 

[Imeavie]

I don't have any words that can help you, but I can say I completely understand. I have been there many many times, and to some extent even now.

I know the best action is to move on without them, but I also know that it's just not possible to do so.

Whatever path you are on, and wherever it leads, I hope you find some form of solace.

My pm are always open for any reason you need.