Discussion what's keeping you going?

[prettyreadytogo]

just a fun question to talk about the good in life.
mine is my 6 year old sister.
she is the sweetest in the world.
when i stop, i stop for her.

 

[LetMeBeSad]

I have a lot of people relying on me to do the things I do. Too many people that would be hurt by my leaving. It would be a big funeral.

 

[fadedphotograph]

I get to see my Mom and siblings and some immediate family altogether for the first time in like 5 years soon, and I'd like to be present when my Dad's ashes are spread.

 

[JKFleck]

A slimmer of hope that the person that abandoned me will ever be back in my lifetime and not having access to insta-kill methods.

 

[donehere24]

My grandparents are the only people in my life who I can truly guarantee care about me. They'd be crushed if I died. I'm waiting for them to pass before I ctb.

 

[todeswunsch]

Mostly inertia, but sometimes I think I have a little bit of hope.

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

The biggest reason is my partner. His mother passed away, leaving him with no family. I don't want to leave him stranded. Our cat also, she's getting old and I want to continue to provide her with a comfortable life.

There's also a mood of curiosity. I want to learn more about the things that interest me.

 

[a_carbon_based_life]

that hopefully ill be able to grow into someone child me would be proud of, that ill be able to do all the pain he went through justice since everyone else refused to

 

[Heartaches]

I don't now 100% for sure. I guess there's always been a glimmer of hope even in my darkest moments. I'd feel bad if my best friends, my pets and some of my family members would have to say goodbye to me too soon, I don't want them to carry the burden of my death for the rest of their lives.

I guess the possibility of furthering my transition would be nice, I'd at least would like to feel very euphoric with my identity one day. Not that there's anything wrong right now, but I wanna see where I can go​

 

[pleaseletmeperish]

My parents and sibling. They really are the best.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Firstly, inertia. Secondly, I found somebody who I really want to meet irl... the first person in my life to validate me after a lifetime of misery

 

[D1byRam3n]

Anime and game only if I already feeling bored with that, im gonna die already and go into fantasy world being reincarnated again die again if im being super depressed enough...

 

[Ces-io]

Just keeping myself distracted constantly, wether that be with video games, anime, YouTube or music. Can't have suicidal thoughts if you don't have any thoughts at all

 

[waRmblanket]

my pets, family, and friends keep me going. as badly as i'd like to go, i really don't want to hurt any of them.

 

[Sabriel]

My dog, my bucket list, piss, vinegar, and the stubborn belief that I have a right to exist. Aaand a big F U to anyone who's wanted to see me fail or see me hurt. You can't keep a good woman down, you can't stop me, and I'll hit the exits when I'm good and ready.

This is a completely different tenor for me than when I first joined the site…but I'm so tired of being beat down. This year has been awful for me; had a monumental breakdown and an OD and I lost one of my last friends in a motorcycle accident. But at my core…I don't feel like giving any of my past abusers the satisfaction of thinking they destroyed me.

I'll always be pro-choice but I'm sort of coming to terms with and reconciling that I'll catch the bus in my own time and on my own terms. I'm still figuring out who I am (even now) and trying to grow as a person. I'm trying to exist in this shitty world and make space for what's beautiful. I need time to think and sort of exist for awhile…even when I'm drowning in misery. So yeah. Until further notice.

 

[OnlyGodKnows]

Fear of getting condemned to hell

 

[bleedingbxnes]

my kitty! i got her when she was about three weeks, orphaned baby found in the woods. i had to bottle feed her and help her go to the bathroom. she's my darling. it's been over a year and i still just adore her. when i'm sad, she watches over me, and i can't do anything to myself when she's watching me. i love you dust bunny!

 

[F@#$]

Alcohol, drugs and an obligation to my dog.

 

[Rapière]

I never held any intime frienships, so the faint hope that I might find someone who really understands me, however unlikely that might be, is one thing that keeps me goung. The thought of dying, without ever having made my existence known to anyone, terrifies me in ways that words cannot express.

 

[MarsProxy]

My family, mainly my sister, and the few friends I have. I don't want to hurt my sister and I'm scared of dying. I hate being stuck in this state of feeling horrible and wanting to die. I'll never recover from this loss. I've lost a major part of my life, or soul. He was so much to me. I feel like the curator of a dead language that nobody will understand.

 

[sundown12]

i don't know, i'm curious to see if my dreams will come true, but at the same time, i'm kinda hopeless at this point

 

[UnwillingSavior]

i don't know, i'm curious to see if my dreams will come true, but at the same time, i'm kinda hopeless at this point

Neither do I, I'm planning my final resting place and earlier today I took a trip out to what I thought was a remote location (it wasn't). Overall I feel like in the back of my mind I'll surface a new mindset/perception of the world and get out of this downward spiral, as if nothing happened. Then I can go back to playing video games and getting involved in my college club. Maybe that's just my SI kicking in and trying to make me back out.

But I have everything ready and life atm is not good and serves a reminder of what the true trend of life is: good sometimes, horrifying most times, and tricks & illusions to make you forget about that fact. So, I think I might just drive into a desert until my gas runs dry and I have no choice but to use my exit bag.

 

[cryone]

my dad and fears of the afterlife.

 

[princejohnny]

Concerts and music. I am patiently awaiting a new album from my fave artist. It's the only reason I keep going. I have nothing else.

 

[Broken-Lost]

I have a young daughter who I do not live with, but I see often and speak to almost every day. She is the only reason I keep going.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

Admittedly, my cowardice. I'm too scared to ever try anything and I don't have the means to import shit. Also if I do chose to live, I want no obstacles, no obstructions, nothing pissing me off. Sometimes I wish I could get angry to the point of accidentally kill myself rather dumb luck than anything purposeful, but I'm too scared of the pain. It's a paradox really. Too scared to get too angry yet anger suppresses fear.

 

[Pallf]

The hope that things will get better.