Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,399
I know I lack it, but I never notice it. I don’t understand why lacking empathy is considered a terrible thing on par with being a devil.
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Noisette
Member
- Mar 13, 2020
- 29
Having sociopathic traits can be confusing to you but very hurtful to the ones around you.
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,399
hurtful as in ignorant, careless, a dont give a shit attitude
Noisette
Member
- Mar 13, 2020
- 29
Hurtful like you've been considered "heartless" and people who care about you might take this like you don't care about them at all.
Idk how to describe it
Bootleg Astolfo
Glorious Bean Plushie
- Oct 12, 2020
- 658
Lack of emphathy usually means you'll end up saying really hurtfull things without even realising it, or doing hurtfull things due to not understand why or not caring how it hurts others. Kinda like a Terminator, but not a cool giant buff robot, just a cold dick without emotion.
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,399
Noisette
Member
- Mar 13, 2020
- 29
I'm really annoyed by the fact that you think it's funny
Thank you I didn't know how to word it
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,399
Yeah I tend to be blunt because beating around the bush is weird to me. I have noticed that I sometimes don’t know how to respond without hurting the other person’s feelings, so I do it anyway because I think being honest is important.
I don’t like people in general, so I have little sympathy regarding this.
Noisette
Member
- Mar 13, 2020
- 29
You definitely have alot of sociopathic traits, might wanna talk to a professional. Good luck
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,399
A lot? What other ones do I have? No professional has noticed any. I’ve gone for many years for trauma.
i can come across careless, i can seem like i dont take another persons opinion on board, or just selfish at times, crazy too.
im mad at the world though, how us people are treated by governments mostly, you know agendas and all that.
im definitely considered a "conspiracy theorist" i call it truthist
haha...i dont hate people though, i hate how the world is run (by those shape-shifting, non-human, lizard creatures, i.e Boris Johnson, Queen of England, yes i believe these kinds of people are not human, the kind who truly dont feel empathy for the whole world)
i hate these agendas and rules the governments around the world make up, its bs.
i try to understand people (the real kind) even if its someone i dont like very much, like i wonder how they were brought up especially if they have traits i find annoying, i know how it feels to be sad so when someone is sad i really do feel it. surely you would too?
i suppose it does depend on trauma you went through and im sorry, rude of me to say surely you would too.
but you know what its like to be sad, you know what its like to of wanted someone to listen when you needed it the most, im sorry if not, i do assume, im bad for that. you say "lack" empathy but i bet you dont truly lack empathy.
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,399
Yeah I understand if I’ve felt it too. I can’t empathize with happy, positive people who say “It’s such a sunny, beautiful day.”i can come across careless, i can seem like i dont take another persons opinion on board, or just selfish at times, crazy too.
im mad at the world though, how us people are treated by governments mostly, you know agendas and all that.
im definitely considered a "conspiracy theorist" i call it truthist
...i dont hate people though, i hate how the world is run (by those shape-shifting, non-human, lizard creatures, i.e Boris Johnson, Queen of England, yes i believe these kinds of people are not human, the kind who truly dont feel empathy for the whole world)
i hate these agendas and rules the governments around the world make up, its bs.
i try to understand people (the real kind) even if its someone i dont like very much, like i wonder how they were brought up especially if they have traits i find annoying, i know how it feels to be sad so when someone is sad i really do feel it. surely you would too?
i suppose it does depend on trauma you went through and im sorry, rude of me to say surely you would too.
but you know what its like to be sad, you know what its like to of wanted someone to listen when you needed it the most, im sorry if not, i do assume, im bad for that. you say "lack" empathy but i bet you dont truly lack empathy.
I didn't either about 6 months ago, still wish I wasn't born even though I do think what a nice beautiful day.
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,399
I know, I know.
I game all night, sleep all day, then I think I've wasted that sunny day, then I think but where would I have gone anyway, hate the thought of going out alone. I did go for a walk on my own many weeks ago now, surprisingly it was okay, I got a coffee, sat with my thoughts for a while, then come home and switched the xbox on.
I hope you find solace, I know its shit. Sending hugs x
I game all night, sleep all day, then I think I've wasted that sunny day, then I think but where would I have gone anyway, hate the thought of going out alone. I did go for a walk on my own many weeks ago now, surprisingly it was okay, I got a coffee, sat with my thoughts for a while, then come home and switched the xbox on.
I hope you find solace, I know its shit. Sending hugs x
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,730
Sometimes people who lack empathy can have a lot of emotion, and also get really butthurt, but have no clue about what others feel, it's all about what they feel, and they want it to be recognized and honored. When it's not, they can turn abusive. There's no reciprocity in consideration, and a lot of entitlement. Sometimes they can't read other's emotions and responses and take them as disrespectful, aggressive, offensive, which sets them off. I just described my mother, perpetrators of domestic violence (also my mother), stalkers, Donald Trump, and people whose mommies told them they could do no wrong and wouldn't hold them accountable or allow anyone else to.
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feast or famine
Tell Patient Zero he can have his rib back.
- Jun 15, 2020
- 313
People need empathy in order to bond with others and form deep connections. When someone is lacking their empathy chip, the people in their life might as well just have a relationship with themselves because those who lack empathy can't effectively participate in reciprocation.
I'm not saying that this is the case with you, but this is just my experience based on my last significant relationship where the person did not have any empathy for me or anyone else in his life. Generally speaking, those who don't have empathy have sociopathic tendencies and that doesn't bode well in any tangible relationship with others.
Having no empathy isn't just saying an off the cuff remark here or there. It's literally having no regard for someone else's well being and how you may be affecting them.
I'm not saying that this is the case with you, but this is just my experience based on my last significant relationship where the person did not have any empathy for me or anyone else in his life. Generally speaking, those who don't have empathy have sociopathic tendencies and that doesn't bode well in any tangible relationship with others.
Having no empathy isn't just saying an off the cuff remark here or there. It's literally having no regard for someone else's well being and how you may be affecting them.
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Mer
Insert Witty Comment Here
- Dec 2, 2020
- 66
I've spoken to only one person I strongly suspected as having very little to no empathy. And to be honest, it felt like he wasn't even human. He seemed more like an alien observing humans; he didn't care that his words and actions hurt others as well.
Needless to say, he and I did not get along and I did my best to avoid him.
Mer
Insert Witty Comment Here
- Dec 2, 2020
- 66
Hrmmmm more like Spock only with even less empathy. This was years ago though so I may be remembering him a bit wrong.
Deleted member 94
Wizard
- Mar 24, 2018
- 696
I know a guy who lacks empathy but his on the spectrum so it's sort of understandable and excusable.
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I know several people who lack empathy. What’s it like... well it’s complicated Like all interesting things. I mean never need them or count on them and know that they might be fun but they really aren’t on your team. That’s ok. The trade off seems to be they have a weak sense of self and are willing to appear to be the ideal person from your point of view but if you ever have a tough time they just aren’t a person you can count on.
what’s it like? In my experience it becomes obvious at a certain point that something hurt them and they compensate by turning off certain emotional states.
End of the day people who lack empathy can be fun, they make good people to do things with, they’re usually hurt, you roll your eyes when on of their ex’s just doesn’t get it and they are acting out towards them (always so many ex’s around) and they’re just people trying to get by in this life like everyone else.
what’s it like? In my experience it becomes obvious at a certain point that something hurt them and they compensate by turning off certain emotional states.
End of the day people who lack empathy can be fun, they make good people to do things with, they’re usually hurt, you roll your eyes when on of their ex’s just doesn’t get it and they are acting out towards them (always so many ex’s around) and they’re just people trying to get by in this life like everyone else.
KuriGohan&Kamehameha
minecraft zombie
- Nov 23, 2020
- 1,300
Quite a few autistic people struggle with empathy, but I always experienced empathy weirdly. I have hyperempathy when it comes to old people who I know are aging or suffering, and when I see baby animals or people being born it makes me want to cry because they have to be subjected to this evil world.
When it comes to certain things, it is hard for me to have empathy. For example, people get gung ho about abortion being "literally murder" when I personally do not see a clump of fetal cells as anything remotely similar to a full blown human. So I cannot understand those peoples feelings and rationale because I have learned a lot about neuro development in my degree and I see their views as illogical. Same with religious people, I was hurt beyond belief as a child due to the church and I find it hard to find empathy for people who believe in something that I see as dogmatic and cruel.
So I don't think there is anyone who is 100% empathetic all the time otherwise partisan issues wouldn't always be a hot topic of debate. You can have empathy for some people you love while not understanding others at all.
When it comes to certain things, it is hard for me to have empathy. For example, people get gung ho about abortion being "literally murder" when I personally do not see a clump of fetal cells as anything remotely similar to a full blown human. So I cannot understand those peoples feelings and rationale because I have learned a lot about neuro development in my degree and I see their views as illogical. Same with religious people, I was hurt beyond belief as a child due to the church and I find it hard to find empathy for people who believe in something that I see as dogmatic and cruel.
So I don't think there is anyone who is 100% empathetic all the time otherwise partisan issues wouldn't always be a hot topic of debate. You can have empathy for some people you love while not understanding others at all.
It's terrible because it hurts people.
You might not have empathy but you do know right from wrong and I really would try next time, even though you don't feel bad, or empathize, to be considerate, at the least. Being truthful to the point of hurting and harming others is only giving you some type of dark satisfaction. It's not fun to drain the light from inside someone's soul. You don't have to feel, but you should think.
You might not have empathy but you do know right from wrong and I really would try next time, even though you don't feel bad, or empathize, to be considerate, at the least. Being truthful to the point of hurting and harming others is only giving you some type of dark satisfaction. It's not fun to drain the light from inside someone's soul. You don't have to feel, but you should think.
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To be fair to most people, empathy is difficult. People have their own stuff happening in the lives and don't always have the emotional space for others - even their nearest and dearest. It takes a deal of energy to be empathetic and it's not something that can always been turned on or turned off, even by those that are naturally disposed to empathy. Everyone has off days.
People like me (like us?) are difficult. We tend to be self-absorbed, so aware of our own problems that we forget that other people are struggling. We can almost expect others to say the right things whenever we need them to. And we can be unforgiving when then don't live up to our expectations.
My advice (such that it isn't) is to cut people some slack. Sometimes you have to give a little, help people to help you. Don't look for battles, everyone gets hurt in battles - and if you're like me then you don't deal with pain very well. (Actually, I try and avoid it) If there's a continued lack of empathy then move on - because neither of you are communicating.
People like me (like us?) are difficult. We tend to be self-absorbed, so aware of our own problems that we forget that other people are struggling. We can almost expect others to say the right things whenever we need them to. And we can be unforgiving when then don't live up to our expectations.
My advice (such that it isn't) is to cut people some slack. Sometimes you have to give a little, help people to help you. Don't look for battles, everyone gets hurt in battles - and if you're like me then you don't deal with pain very well. (Actually, I try and avoid it) If there's a continued lack of empathy then move on - because neither of you are communicating.
Gaybonez
vegan jesus
- Nov 30, 2020
- 208
They don't have a filter and lack tact when it comes to serious topics. I think I have a bit of that when I'm on my super happy moods where I just don't give a shit about you or anything. I say what I want and you can take it or leave it. On the other spectrum, if I'm sad, then I feel more open and vulnerable that I gain the ability to empathize with whatever the person is feeling.
Apathy79
Specialist
- Oct 13, 2019
- 353
Not sure if this is entirely on topic but this thread reminded me of when I was young - I used to think being empathetic was listening to people talk about their problems and taking their side. This caused problems in a few ways - frequently I was friends with both the complainer and the person they were complaining about and ended up lying to both to appease them, which always found a way to blow up in my face. The other more serious error was becoming an enabler for chronic victim personalities that really needed someone to straighten them out before they spiralled out of control.
I think those events hardened me a bit and make me seem less empathetic now. My default when people are complaining about something to me now is to be practical and either help them fix it or view it in a more positive light. If they don't want that, then just say I'm probably not the best person to discuss it with, because in my head I'm thinking going down the enabler path again is not good for either of us, despite what you might think right now.
I'm not sure if that's lacking empathy, or just correcting a misconception I had about what empathy was, or just understanding the downside of it better, but I've gone from someone who everyone would come and complain about anything to who would make them feel validated, to someone who basically no-one complains to anymore unless they're after practical advice. And it seems like a positive moral change but has resulted in less close connections. It might be partly why I'm here - to see if I can tread that empathy line better.
I think those events hardened me a bit and make me seem less empathetic now. My default when people are complaining about something to me now is to be practical and either help them fix it or view it in a more positive light. If they don't want that, then just say I'm probably not the best person to discuss it with, because in my head I'm thinking going down the enabler path again is not good for either of us, despite what you might think right now.
I'm not sure if that's lacking empathy, or just correcting a misconception I had about what empathy was, or just understanding the downside of it better, but I've gone from someone who everyone would come and complain about anything to who would make them feel validated, to someone who basically no-one complains to anymore unless they're after practical advice. And it seems like a positive moral change but has resulted in less close connections. It might be partly why I'm here - to see if I can tread that empathy line better.
Enabling, yes, good point @Apathy99
You sound as if you have had some experience of talking with people about there problems. And I think you're right; there's a point at which being empathetic can become a rod for your own back. Nobody has the right to expect empathy, or the right kind of empathy, and I reckon it's worse still to abuse someone's empathy. Councillors are trained in the field, it's asking a lot to expect it of the average person in the street. We can all listen, sure, but equally we all have our own problems and our own tolerances. It's sapping to listen, and demoralising to be taken advantage of, so I'd not be critical of anyone for putting the shutters up and saying 'no more' It has the appearance of lacking empathy, maybe it IS lacking empathy, but I can understand it as a self-protection measure.
You sound as if you have had some experience of talking with people about there problems. And I think you're right; there's a point at which being empathetic can become a rod for your own back. Nobody has the right to expect empathy, or the right kind of empathy, and I reckon it's worse still to abuse someone's empathy. Councillors are trained in the field, it's asking a lot to expect it of the average person in the street. We can all listen, sure, but equally we all have our own problems and our own tolerances. It's sapping to listen, and demoralising to be taken advantage of, so I'd not be critical of anyone for putting the shutters up and saying 'no more' It has the appearance of lacking empathy, maybe it IS lacking empathy, but I can understand it as a self-protection measure.