What's an assumption mental health professionals tend to make that annoys you to no end?

[Silent_cries]

Idk if it's just me, but I feel like a lot of mental health professionals out of all things tend to make too many annoyingly stupid assumptions. You'd think they'd know how to do their job but nope! They just assume everything that is written in the textbooks are accurate or something. Anyway, witch of their ridiculous assumptions annoys you the most?
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Mine is the way too common "you can't be depressed because you're too high functional". Well guess what, I was tested for anxiety and depression about a month ago when I was really unwell and I scored severe depression and anxiety. Besides, high functioning depression is actually a thing! I hate how they seem to think that you have to be basically bed ridden to be depressed. I've had several professionals claim that I wasn't depressed because I was able to get up everyday and also because I was able to joke and laugh witch was really just a coping mechanism at the time. Well fuck them! My depression were so bad that I had several psychotic breaks that I today suspect were because of it. While I am glad to say that I am mostly recovered today, I wish I would've gotten help sooner. If it hadn't been for their stupid ass assumption then it probably wouldn't have gone this far to begin with and that annoys me to no end.

 

[BoulderSoWhat]

I don't know what I would call this incident, but I brought myself inpatient a couple months ago after a suicide attempt. On the weekend an irregular psychiatrist was doing their rounds on the unit. They had my chart and checked in with me about how I was feeling and what brought me in.

I told them I came in for suicide and persistent depressive disorder symptoms. At some point they chimed in while I was talking and said with a grin/smile/smirk/something "...but you didn't actually try to kill yourself, right?"

My eyebrow probably raised and I said "uhhhh, well..." and told them all the research, planning, and sustained intent that had gone into the attempt and that yes I did actually attempt. They were kind of taken aback it looked like and then asked me what I did for work. I told them I was a pharmacy tech (but being a pharmacy tech had no relation to my method lol). They said "ah, well I'm glad you're doing better."

I don't think they were trying to be disrespectful or sneering, maybe just very particularly in that practitioner's experience, they met a lot of individuals who had ideation but didn't attempt. Idk. It was just an awkward interaction that caught me off guard.

 

[lachrymost]

-That I'm exaggerating about the injustice I've faced in the medical system.
-That I can "think my way into happiness" and just refuse to.

 

[Hollowman]

A lot of them think they can help anyone. There's a psychiatric clinic in my city and the owner of it has a tv commercial. He claims that the moment a person walks through his doors they'll be completely taken care of. More like completely taken advantage of. Dude looks like a creepy psycho.

 

[1043169]

omg i hate when someone doesn't take you seriously because you're 'high functioning'. no one believed me i was psychotic and manic or depressed and anorexic because i was overweight and working 40hrs a week lmao.

 

[Gorbolflungus]

-That I'm exaggerating about the injustice I've faced in the medical system.
-That I can "think my way into happiness" and just refuse to.

That second one makes me impressed that they were somehow even able to become a mental health professional.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It's a mistake most people make but assuming I'm a good person is something I can't stand them doing when really I'm not.

 

[-Link-]

"But you seem to be doing OK!"

Oh yes, very annoying!! I've been dealing with mental health professionals for many years now, and still I always feel like I'm having to justify myself or prove to them how much I'm struggling. It's counterproductive because it's a distraction. I need to be focusing on the treatment itself, not worrying about justifying myself to them.

Looking at it from their perspective, I think this is sometimes a product of mental health professionals sort of testing patients -- not necessarily out of judgement but rather to push back a little bit and see how the patient responds.

I think it could also sometimes be overcompensation on their part. If you go into a doctor's office and tell them you're feeling suicidal "for reasons," the doctor will want to avoid saying or doing anything that even remotely reinforces those reasons, and, in doing so, may compensate with too much positivity.

Whatever the cause of the dismissiveness, it's unfortunate because self-esteem and self-confidence are usually big themes for patients. This is especially so for patients who are new to the system and unaccustomed to its practices... walking into a doctor's office for the first time expecting to be taken seriously from the get-go, only to feel an air of skepticism in the room.

Self-advocacy is huge in all areas of mental health. Gotta stand your ground against it and stand up for yourself and speak up if you feel like you're not being heard. It's wrong when we're made to do this, but this is the reality of the situation.

 

[permanently tired]

That people always need help/can be helped

 

[ijustwishtodie]

That life is meant for everybody if they simply try hard enough. I also hate at how they also assume that everybody wants to live life and that life is a gift for everybody

 

[willitpass]

omg i hate when someone doesn't take you seriously because you're 'high functioning'. no one believed me i was psychotic and manic or depressed and anorexic because i was overweight and working 40hrs a week lmao.

I haven't seen any mental health professionals in almost 2 years at this point, but I spent over a decade in the system. I currently have a great job (I'm taking a leave of absence from but still), I'm getting amazing grades in my next degree, I have so many other outwardly great things going for me. I know if I went to a mental health professional they would use that to downplay the degree of my extreme suffering. And I know it would turn into "but you have so much going for you!". I know that will be a point of contention if I successfully CTB that many will not understand why I would want to die with how amazing things look from the outside. Well Janet, my "amazing life" doesn't matter if I disgust myself, want to die, and spend every second of free time self harming and planning my suicide because I can't feel joy at my successes and hate myself.

 

[fleetingnight]

A few doctors asked me if I heard about the symptoms I was having online, implying I was trying to fake a diagnosis for attention?
I assume it's cause I was a teenager at the time (Which is obviously not an excuse, it's bias. It makes teenagers even more afraid to try to get help.)

Mine is the way too common "you can't be depressed because you're too high functional".

I wonder what the death toll of statements like that is. And, even when it doesn't lead to CTB, it leads to a lot of suffering, which can't be ignored, either.
It's so common for people to feel like they can't express their negative thoughts/feelings, so it's rlly common to put up a front. I wish everyone could understand that, but especially mental health professionals. Idk how you can have that job and not get it.

I hate how they seem to think that you have to be basically bed ridden to be depressed.

I've heard people say a lot of others don't care about mental health unless it makes you unproductive to society. For example, being too sick to do your job. I hate it, but it feels truer every day, at least to a lot of people. I'm sorry you have to put up with that

 

[Mitaru]

That people always need help/can be helped

omg the eleceed pfp

 

[Davey40210]

Just to say something positive (for once). I told my psychologist I want to CTB on Friday, and he told me there is nothing he will do and it is my choice. That was nice to hear.

 

[greebo6]

That you always want to get better. Sometimes , deep down , you somehow just don't. You just want to be out of it and at peace.
A quick release is better than endless, even if well meaning , therapy.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

That someone is not trying/not making an effort, when the psychiatrist or therapist's methods are not working. I think it is some sort of defense mechanism, where it's easier to find fault with the patient rather than acknowledge limitations of treatments and methodologies, and it's an easy cop out because the dogmas of this field are quite nebulous and poorly-researched.

 

[Todsünde]

There are some exceptions to this luckily but way too many just follow what is written in the books and have not the emotional intelligence to realise the fact that every single human being is an individual that can't be treated the same way as the one b4.
I rly dislike how they think there are things that just work for everybody while the individual does not feel the same way so they blame that individual instead of adapting their therapy methods

 

[End_it_all]

Idk if it's just me, but I feel like a lot of mental health professionals out of all things tend to make too many annoyingly stupid assumptions. You'd think they'd know how to do their job but nope! They just assume everything that is written in the textbooks are accurate or something. Anyway, witch of their ridiculous assumptions annoys you the most?
---------------------------------
Mine is the way too common "you can't be depressed because you're too high functional". Well guess what, I was tested for anxiety and depression about a month ago when I was really unwell and I scored severe depression and anxiety. Besides, high functioning depression is actually a thing! I hate how they seem to think that you have to be basically bed ridden to be depressed. I've had several professionals claim that I wasn't depressed because I was able to get up everyday and also because I was able to joke and laugh witch was really just a coping mechanism at the time. Well fuck them! My depression were so bad that I had several psychotic breaks that I today suspect were because of it. While I am glad to say that I am mostly recovered today, I wish I would've gotten help sooner. If it hadn't been for their stupid ass assumption then it probably wouldn't have gone this far to begin with and that annoys me to no end.

I live in the UK, and here they are incredibly misogynistic, even the woman ones. The first thing I am usually asked if is I'm married, followed by a disheartening look on their faces when I tell them I'm not, and then they will proceed to badger me to take a cervical smear test. When I tell them I'm not sexually active because I'm not married yet (religious reasons), they totally dismiss it. Once I explain whatever symptoms I'm having, the first thing they ask is if I've had an HIV or Hepatitis blood test. My symptoms are also almost always put down to menses, being peri-menopausal (even though I'm not at that age yet), anxiety, or whatever else. I am fed up of being gaslighted by them.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

I've noticed that a ot of them seem to think that people with psychiatric diagnoses are per default stupid and uneducated. I've even been straight up asked if I have an intellectual disability. Some examples:

Once told a psychologist that I was coping by re-reading my favorite book, The Emigrants. It was written in 1949 and tells a story of the first people who decided to emigrate to America in the 1850's. It's considered a classic here, beloved by many. She asked which book it was, I told her and her entire face lit up by badly hidden surprise and she went "NOO, IS IT TRUE?!" No. Pardon me, I was just lying. I'm "mentally ill" and therefore only read gossip magazines and Facebook posts.

A close friend of mine was once in a ward. This nurse (seriously, psychiatric nurses often have some iind of weird superiority complex) with a smug look straight up said - in the midst of my friend having a panic attack - "you'll never become anything". Which made my friend go "I have more academic hours than you do." And then list them. My friend has a degree in mathematical didactics and was offered a doctorate position in theoretical philosophy shortly before her breakdown. At age 24.

Another friend went to see a new psychologist, because - surprise surprise - the one they first gave her who only stared at her without saying anything else than "you mentally ill people shouldn't procreate" for 40 minutes didn't help her recover from PTSD. The psychologist starts with saying "you need so much help, you cannot manage on your own. You likely have dependant personality disorder" My friend is a cardiology nurse who developed PTSD from helping people from literally dying all day long.

Or - I think I have told this before here - when I was admitted once I was scheduled for the mandatory blood tests. I have a phobia of blood tests, they make me panic and trigger presyncope. I told them this, as I must do every, single time because no one cares enough to note it in my medical records. I asked for local anesthesia, they said "absolutely", they forgot about it as usual. Was called into the nurse, I told them I was promised anesthesia. She points to the chlorhexidine bottle on her tray and says "This has a little anesthesia!" And I just stare at her. "No... That is used for injection swabbing." And she stared at me back with a hand-in-the-cookie-jar face. I've read veterinary science. I've even performed blood tests myself.

 

[Pluto]

 

[LapseInTime]

Just to say something positive (for once). I told my psychologist I want to CTB on Friday, and he told me there is nothing he will do and it is my choice. That was nice to hear.

I'd die for a psychologist like that... He didn't even attempt to hospitalize you? Damn... I wish I had that. Every single one I've met is a prickly bitch. They'd drag me by the hair if I said something like that. There should be some sort of "hospice" psychologist of that kind. In all seriousness, where does s/he practice?

 

[Davey40210]

I'd die for a psychologist like that... He didn't even attempt to hospitalize you? Damn... I wish I had that. Every single one I've met is a prickly bitch. They'd drag me by the hair if I said something like that. There should be some sort of "hospice" psychologist of that kind. In all seriousness, where does s/he practice?

It's an online one that doesn't know my address or any of my family or friends and has no way to do anything anyway. Yeah it was nice and it should always be like that.

 

[Ihatemylife6]

They try to undermine severe trauma, I'm forever traumatized. And they don't seem to care, and try to level down it. Even though, it was horrible and no one should have to go through what I have

 

[kuuAmiore]

Постоянное "поддакивание". Они думают, что я им доверяю, но это, наоборот, отталкивает. Слишком странно получать постоянное "да" в ответ...

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

There's this sense of mistrust and being talked down to that I always hated as part of mental health treatment. It's amazing how backwards of an institution it is in general. From the moment you walk in, you're treated as unstable, unable to make your own decisions, a risk to yourself and others, and a general nuisance/liability.

It doesn't seem to matter whether you're simply depressed, are manic, or have psychotic episodes for example. No matter what, you get lumped into this overarching category of errant child who hasn't done their homework.

Being talked to like I'm an idiot and incapable of gauging my own medication dosage was one of the reasons I stopped bothering with it several years ago. I assume it's for safety reasons that they treat everyone like a drug addict or loose cannon, but it's too humiliating for me to want to deal with.

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

One that's been bugging me recently, specifically related to psychotherapy, is the idea that the therapist has some sort of knowledge that the patient is lacking, and that the therapist's job is to hand down this knowledge to the patient. I'd like to think that it's only a minority of therapists that think this, but every other therapy-related post on this forum is about some dullard with a psych degree trying to "teach" their patient how to "fix" their problems. One such dullard is teaching one of the courses I'm taking this semester, which is why I've been thinking about it these days. She gets quite a bit of pushback, thankfully. And she doesn't actually do clinical work, so at least she's not directly making things worse for patients.

 

[orpheus_]

Mine is the way too common "you can't be depressed because you're too high functional". Well guess what, I was tested for anxiety and depression about a month ago when I was really unwell and I scored severe depression and anxiety. Besides, high functioning depression is actually a thing! I hate how they seem to think that you have to be basically bed ridden to be depressed. I've had several professionals claim that I wasn't depressed because I was able to get up everyday and also because I was able to joke and laugh witch was really just a coping mechanism at the time. Well fuck them! My depression were so bad that I had several psychotic breaks that I today suspect were because of it. While I am glad to say that I am mostly recovered today, I wish I would've gotten help sooner. If it hadn't been for their stupid ass assumption then it probably wouldn't have gone this far to begin with and that annoys me to no end.

This, and the general assumption that everyone experiences mental health issues in the same way. Talking about depression, because that's what I know from my own experience, people thought I was "not doing bad" because I maintained good hygiene and looks. Took a shower every day, styled my hair, dressed nicely. Because I was terribly ashamed of showing myself to my roommate looking bad lol. Yet I wasn't even able to get out of bed for more than 3-4 hours a day. Or, when I was still in high school, everyone was like - "noo, you must be fine because you have good grades". Well jokes on you. For me my mental capabilities were one of the last things that fell apart. I was an emotional wreck, constantly planning to off myself, had forgot how it feels to feel pleasure or joy a long time ago, yet I was able to do math problems in a blink of an eye and wrote great essays. So everything must have been great, right?

Another thing: assuming they know WHY you are doing certain things, without asking. For example, a psychiatrist I saw once, after she saw that I had self-harm scars, automatically assumed that I have "problems with impulse control". Although I kept explaining that I was doing it with full awareness, when I just want to feel ANYTHING because I'm so numb all the time. And even physical pain is better than that sense of numbness. Yet she kept insisting that I'm "too emotional" and prescribed me mood stabilisers even though my main problem is apathy. Also she said that I can't possibly have depression because depressed people don't self harm. That was just bullshit. I saw many bad shrinks, but she won

In general, I feel like self harm is very misunderstood even among "professionals". I hate how many people think the only self harm that exists is teenagers cutting their wrists lol. It's not just teenagers. Not just cutting. And not just on wrists. And also not JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN'T CONTROL IMPULSES. "People who self harm are always immature and do it because they can't express emotions in a healthy way" SHUT UP. People self harm for various reasons. Almost always because they're in mental pain, but the mechanisms behind WHY they do it exactly can be very different.

Also: the assumption that the same things will help everyone. "Every person with depression needs CBT" SHUT UP, for some people this kind of therapy is good, for others it will only waste their time and money. I think professionals should more often emphasize that EVERY PERSON needs a different kind of treatment, and, while statistically some things work more often than others, personal circumstances should be considered.

 

[RoseGarden]

This is more of a critique of the entire field and less of a critique of individual mental health providers:

Many of them completely ignore the history of their field. A lot of the foundational research of mental health disorders came from a perspective of cisgender, heterosexual, white men. The field is also remarkably against self advocacy, almost paradoxically so. Furthermore what's considered a "disorder" is often political or social in nature. I'm trans and there was a time period, recently too, where being trans was considered a mental disorder to be corrected. Same with homosexuality, same with "female hysteria." There are so, so many more things labeled as disorders due to how they impact someone relative to what our society considered "normal." I have ASD as well, and in social situations with other people with ASD I have no trouble communicating. There'seven research showing that ASD to ASD communication is as effective, if not more so, than neurotypical to neurotypical communication. The almost patriarchal "we know better" attitude does incredible harm to people and so, so many practitioners are unaware that they even have those biases.

On a personal level, when I came out (for lack of a better term) as suicidal my therapist dropped me because I was unwilling to see a psychiatrist. She never explored those suicidal feelings, or attempted to understand the reasons I was suicidal or why I dislike psychiatrists. I didn't do as she said, so I was dropped. That's a good embodiment of the issues I have with the field. Instead of understanding me, my life, and the specific circumstances that lead me to feel the way I do, "the system" for lack of a better term, sees suicidality as an issue that has to be fixed by any means necessary. Often it's a product of depression, but in my case it's the result of years of abuse, neglect, stress, and maltreatment.

That view makes perfect sense when you realize that most research done on mental health conditions is done by people who have the money to persue higher education in that field, and that biases them towards being white cishet men with a wealthy family.

One that's been bugging me recently, specifically related to psychotherapy, is the idea that the therapist has some sort of knowledge that the patient is lacking, and that the therapist's job is to hand down this knowledge to the patient. I'd like to think that it's only a minority of therapists that think this, but every other therapy-related post on this forum is about some dullard with a psych degree trying to "teach" their patient how to "fix" their problems. One such dullard is teaching one of the courses I'm taking this semester, which is why I've been thinking about it these days. She gets quite a bit of pushback, thankfully. And she doesn't actually do clinical work, so at least she's not directly making things worse for patients.

This will probably get combined with my post above but I want to say that this is a separate thought:

I'm a fairly introspective person. It's how I've survived as long as I have. Psychotherapy has never helped me because all they really do is offer a perspective that I've already considered. They aren't offering me any new tools or information. On top of being trans and having autism, I also have PTSD. CBT and psychotherapy have proven to just retraumatize someone with PTSD. Yet therapists constantly try to use it.

 

[Al Gul]

I think other than many things mentioned here, what always seems to come up, cause I'm just honest with them, is "Oh so it's family issues, attachment stuff" etc. Like my relatively recent anxiety, depression, all stem from having had a shit childhood. This despite being in contact with the majority of my family for years again and things actually being decent on that front. They always end up wanting to delve into childhood matters rather than paying any attention to my own observations as to when my anxiety problems started and why. It's infuriating how they'll zero in one something, but at least lately I haven't let myself be bulldozed and waste hours talking about stuff I've already processed.

 

[Privateer2368]

This, and the general assumption that everyone experiences mental health issues in the same way. Talking about depression, because that's what I know from my own experience, people thought I was "not doing bad" because I maintained good hygiene and looks. Took a shower every day, styled my hair, dressed nicely. Because I was terribly ashamed of showing myself to my roommate looking bad lol. Yet I wasn't even able to get out of bed for more than 3-4 hours a day. Or, when I was still in high school, everyone was like - "noo, you must be fine because you have good grades". Well jokes on you. For me my mental capabilities were one of the last things that fell apart. I was an emotional wreck, constantly planning to off myself, had forgot how it feels to feel pleasure or joy a long time ago, yet I was able to do math problems in a blink of an eye and wrote great essays. So everything must have been great, right?

Another thing: assuming they know WHY you are doing certain things, without asking. For example, a psychiatrist I saw once, after she saw that I had self-harm scars, automatically assumed that I have "problems with impulse control". Although I kept explaining that I was doing it with full awareness, when I just want to feel ANYTHING because I'm so numb all the time. And even physical pain is better than that sense of numbness. Yet she kept insisting that I'm "too emotional" and prescribed me mood stabilisers even though my main problem is apathy. Also she said that I can't possibly have depression because depressed people don't self harm. That was just bullshit. I saw many bad shrinks, but she won

In general, I feel like self harm is very misunderstood even among "professionals". I hate how many people think the only self harm that exists is teenagers cutting their wrists lol. It's not just teenagers. Not just cutting. And not just on wrists. And also not JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN'T CONTROL IMPULSES. "People who self harm are always immature and do it because they can't express emotions in a healthy way" SHUT UP. People self harm for various reasons. Almost always because they're in mental pain, but the mechanisms behind WHY they do it exactly can be very different.

Also: the assumption that the same things will help everyone. "Every person with depression needs CBT" SHUT UP, for some people this kind of therapy is good, for others it will only waste their time and money. I think professionals should more often emphasize that EVERY PERSON needs a different kind of treatment, and, while statistically some things work more often than others, personal circumstances should be considered.

Gods, I despise CBT.

Changing how I think isn't going to change things that other people are actively doing to me.

Maybe it works on people with imaginary problems, but mine have a very physical reality. They're not a matter of perception.