What would you like to see in your obituary notice?

[noname223]

I recently read in newspaper some obituary notices. Some of people who committed suicide. I cried a little bit.
Personally I am very ambivalent. My suicide is very private and I don't really want that my former school mates for example to take notice of it. Though I am rather apathetic in general I will be dead whatever.

I think some obituary notices capture the sadness and melancholia of losing a loved person in a beautiful way. It gives the person some dignity back. Though I would personally adivce my family to avoid spending money on such things. Even for my grave please the cheapest version. Though I think such rituals might be primarily for the loved ones who have to continue living and not for the dead person.

Personally I could imagine some quotes of David Foster Wallace or Chester Bennington in my obituary. But there are also some beautiful quotes of people who did not commit suicide. I could not imagine quotes for example from Kurt Cobain "It is better to burn out than to fade away." This would kind of imply I had a rockstar lifestyle which is not really true.

I have not thought of explicit examples which would please me. I could not imagine completely nihilistic quotes which would out myself as a bitter and resentful person that hated the world and their own personal existence. So maybe most quotes would be misleading. They also kind of depict a picture or a narrative that one would like to see. Especially an obituary in the newspaper is a message to the world outside which I personally would like to avoid in my case.

However I could also not imagine some funny quotes to capture my personal essence. Rather maybe dark humor but something like that would not find its way in a newspaper after a fucking suicide of mine. I kind of have the feeling my messages and posts in this forum are kind of my personal obituary and in a style I personally prefer. Anonymous, not being able to judge by my outer appearance and judging solely by character and words. Moreover I think my posts are kind of a good obituary because they can be as long as I want. I also noticed this in comparison with meetings of my support network the time is always limited but in this forum I can post as much as I want. And short messages have some flaws in their inner logic. Or at least disadvantages. I could imagine some friends in real life could read my posts in this forum after my suicide. I have written down my motivation for killing myself quite often. Though I also communicated it to them quite often directly.

So what would you like to see (theoretically)?

 

[laylaN]

So maybe most quotes would be misleading. They also kind of depict a picture or a narrative that one would like to see. Especially an obituary in the newspaper is a message to the world outside which I personally would like to avoid in my case. However I could also not imagine some funny quotes to capture my personal essence. Rather maybe dark humor but something like that would not find its way in a newspaper after a fucking suicide of mine.

I feel similarly. I don't want to be remembered as an overly serious person, but maybe put the funny stuff on a headstone or something... A newspaper is a little public. I suspect my family and the news agency would get harassed if they put a silly quote in my obituary after I killed myself anyway lmao.

Most obituaries just have a brief summary of the deceased though, right? Like, who their parents are, where they went to school, their current occupation, their hobbies, etc. Something like that is simple and uncomplicated. I think I'd rather have that because there's less risk of being misremembered.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wouldn't wish for anything like that, my existence is just so incredibly meaningless and insignificant, I would want it to be like I never existed at all, I only want to be forgotten about. But anyway whatever happens in this world after I'm gone could never really be my concern.

 

[shantyizlit]

I would like all my old acquaintances to know that I died of suicide, I don't even know why. At least then I'd be remembered maybe..
But for a quote I would like something ironic like 'He only liked getting high, and the higher you go the harder you fall', because most people including my family just think I got lost in the drugs. Then they can at least make peace with their insensible thoughts.

 

[alphaomega]

I suspect that for a lot of people the fact that they qualify for an obituary would be enough.

 

[ConstantPain]

My preference would be for no obituary at all but the things I'd like in one if someone insists on doing it are:
Name my cats
My commitment to reducing homelessness and reminding people to be compassionate and give if they can.

 

[SolomonKado]

the only thing that is going to happen is they are going to say something like "he was mentally struggling" or "his alcoholism got the better of him" and not the truth.
That the ones responsible will not take responsibility and do like they always do and cover it up. I had witnessed so much while I worked there that if I could prove successfully the would be fired or possibly put in jail, but this place has strong connections with the town so I already know what mine will say and it makes me depressed. Atleast I won't have to endure it anymore….

I would rather not have one at all and just fade away.